I feel like we all need a guide these days, don’t we? It seems like narcissists are making themselves known more and more, and it’s because people like you want to know about them.
In the past, they got away with being toxic, but now, you’re calling out to each and every one of them with your knowledge and courage.
So – for those of you who want this pocket guide – I can’t think of a better time to provide it to you.
The ultimate anti-narcissist survival here…
Giving What You’re Worth
This is the whole reason I’m here, and that the narcissistic life even exists.
Beyond my medical degrees, and all the work it took to get to this point, there is a deep need to express why you matter, and why you matter.
Surviving narcissism means living through the pain and trauma of unfair and unkind treatment, and getting to a point where you thrive.
This is my goal with each and every one of you somewhere in your healing journey.
You may just be starting out, or you may be a little further along the way. Wherever you are – you’ve been through tough times, and you find a way to get through them on your own terms.
Narcissists: Break It
Let’s erase what society tells us.
Let’s push back on what we’ve been told by family and friends, because we all have different families and friends.
Related : 10 Signs From The Universe You Are Dealing With a Narcissist
Let’s get to the facts. We can work with facts, because facts are universal.
Narcissists are emotionally unhealthy, disorganized, and absent-minded. We’ve all heard about bullet points, signs, and symptoms, but I want to talk to you human to human right now.
They are dangerous. They shine when you’re struggling. They tell you they love you, or want to help, while taking something bigger from you.
You know when you’re in the presence of a narcissist, because you feel lost in their ego. They’re always right, and they never want to admit they’re wrong about anything.
You never know where you stand with them. One minute they want to be your best friend, and the next minute you hear them gossiping about you behind their back.
Being with a narcissist is hard because they are always there. Parties, meals, gatherings, events; they are there. They make it all less enjoyable just by being there. Working with one is hard because you constantly feel like nothing you do is good enough or important enough.
You’re challenged, you feel helpless about what you’re doing. You dread going to work because you know it’s going to be more of the same every day.
Loving someone is the hardest thing to do. When you choose to get into a relationship with a narcissist, you do so under the assumption that they care about you, that they want to protect you, and that they want to keep you safe.
Drifting
This is where most people find themselves drawn. Narcissists are some of the most cruel people around – and you should never be nice – they’re just cruel.
When you find yourself drawn, it’s usually because they’ve cast their spell.
There’s something magnetic about them. Their energy draws you in and makes you feel like you want more and more of them.
What Narcissists Do to You
They break you down.
They make you lose yourself.
They never let you know what each day will look like and feel like.
Related : Exposed: The Top 9 Biggest Lies About Narcissists
They blame yourself.
They make you believe that’s all you deserve.
Stop letting yourself believe that your opinions or ideas matter or are even valid.
By the way, I don’t say any of this lightly. The power a narcissist can have over your entire life is a power you will never be able to fully comprehend unless you’ve been through it.
But make no mistake—their intent is to destroy you.
They don’t care what it takes.
Survival: What Can You Do?
There are ways you can survive a narcissist, but for many people who were never exposed to narcissism—it can take years.
When you have nothing left in your self-esteem bank, you’ll need to earn it back before you spend it on yourself.
Here’s how.
1 Learn, Learn, Learn
Learn what narcissism is. Learn what types of people they are. Learn that none of this is your fault. Learn what drew you to narcissistic personalities. Learn the damage they cause. Learn how to heal.
You can’t do this with half a heart.
2 Take Care of Yourself
The moment you think you don’t matter is the moment you surrender indefinitely to the narcissist. Not just the person in your current life, but all narcissists.
Related : 8 Ways Narcissists Treat You in Public vs. Behind Closed Doors
To survive with them, you have to discover them. To discover them, you have to know them. To know them, you have to know yourself.
To know yourself, you have to take care of your needs.
3 Know Your Worth
A narcissist will tell you—directly and indirectly—how worthless you are.
I don’t want you to believe a word they say. While I don’t know you personally, I need you to understand how toxic this is a tactic that narcissists everywhere use to crush you.
Your worth is not determined by anyone else.
4 Know Your Reality
Stay in the Zone of Your Reality!
I can’t stress this enough. Your reality is what you experience, think, notice, and feel. If these are elements of your life that the narcissist is trying to change, you will need to have a difficult conversation with yourself.
5 See Your Future in Color
It is possible to get out of a narcissistic relationship and thrive in a colorful future.
No victim should live a life of debilitating fear and anxiety.
Related : You Must Never Say These 10 Things to a Narcissist
Does it take a lot of work? Yes, it does.
I believe that each of you is capable of doing this.
6 Connect with Others
Connecting with trusted family members and friends who can help you validate your experiences with the narcissist, and make sense of everything with you is where you can begin to find yourself.
Surviving a narcissist can be hard work, but with loved ones to help you along the way, you will remember who you are and what you stand for.
7 Professional Help
There is no shame in asking for help. Therapists are more trained in narcissism than ever before, and you can easily find someone who is a good fit for you.
Whether your treatment path is trauma, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), or general talk therapy – you’ll find an approach that works for you, if that’s what you’re looking for.
8 Most importantly…
Give yourself the gift of time. It’s going to pass anyway, so it might be better to spend it wisely on yourself than to waste it.
If you can find time to entertain yourself and survive the narcissist, you’ll find that your priorities shift from trying to please them to definitely pleasing yourself.
