Convincing narcissists to want you back requires understanding their psychological needs and tapping into their desire for admiration and appreciation. Here are two effective strategies:
- Appeal to their ego
Narcissists thrive on admiration and appreciation. By appealing to their ego, you can make them feel valued and special, which can reignite their interest in you.
How to do it:
Compliments and flattery: Compliment their accomplishments, appearance, intelligence, or any other traits they find valuable. Make them feel special and appreciated.
Remind them of the good times: Bring up positive memories from your time together, highlighting moments when they were at their best or felt admired and appreciated.
Exhibit your value: Show that you’re a valuable partner. Share successes or improvements in your life since the breakup, but do so in a way that suggests they were an inspiration or a positive influence on you.
Examples:
“I was thinking about that great presentation you gave at work. You were so impressive; everyone was impressed.”
“Remember that trip we took to the mountains? I still think about how much fun we had and how you made everything so special.”
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“I worked so hard to achieve my fitness goals, and I’ve made so much progress. I couldn’t have done it without the motivation you gave me.”
- Create a sense of competition and scarcity
Narcissists often desire what they see as valuable and unattainable. By creating a sense of competition and scarcity, you can make yourself seem more attractive.
How to do it:
Exhibit independence and success: Show off your independence and success without seeming desperate or needy. Post about your accomplishments and happy moments on social media, subtly signaling that you’re thriving.
Interact with others: Interact with new people and form new relationships. This can create a sense of competition, making the narcissist feel like they need to “get you back” from others.
Be mysterious and unavailable: Don’t always be available. By being a little evasive, you increase your perceived value and make the narcissist work harder for your attention.
Examples:
Social media posts: Share photos or updates about exciting events, new hobbies, or social gatherings. Avoid addressing the narcissist directly, but make sure they can see that you’re enjoying life.
Casual mentions: If you’re still communicating, casually mention new friends or activities without going into too much detail. This can pique their curiosity and make them feel competitive.
Limited availability: Respond to their messages or calls on your terms. Don’t always be available right away, and sometimes it takes longer to respond.
Key considerations
Boundaries and self-care: While trying to get a narcissist back, it’s important to maintain your boundaries and prioritize your well-being. Narcissists can be manipulative and draining, so be mindful of your emotional health.
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Authenticity: While using these strategies, try to remain authentic. Manipulative tactics can backfire if they are discovered, and maintaining authentic interactions can help build a healthier foundation for any renewed relationship.
Using these strategies can help reignite a narcissist’s interest by appealing to their need for admiration and creating a sense of competition. However, be aware of the potential challenges and emotional costs of pursuing a relationship with a narcissist.
