Addiction can take many forms. Of all the fixations and obsessions, addiction to a narcissist is one of the most insidious and harmful. While most of us picture drug use when we think of addiction, addiction for one erodes your self-esteem, mental health, and overall well-being in devastating ways.

In this article, I will explore what it means to be addicted to a narcissist, the signs and reasons behind it, and how to break free from this dangerous cycle.

The attractiveness of a narcissist

Narcissists are often known for their magnetic charm that attracts people towards them. In the early stages of a relationship, they may seem like the perfect partner: smart, emotionally attractive, and unique. Many people get excited by the promise of a narcissist, seeing someone who is sociable and wild. It is this romanticism that makes people addicted to the narcissist. However, beneath this veneer lies a fragile, childish ego that requires constant validation and control from others.

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Addiction to a narcissist usually begins at some point in the love bombing phase. The narcissist showers his targets with endless affection and attention. The intensity of this initial stage creates a deep emotional attachment, leading the victim to desire this “perfect love.” Before you know it, the narcissist is constantly on your mind.

cycle of abuse

The mask begins to slip once the narcissist knows he has pegged his victim. Unfortunately, this is the time when addiction begins to take hold. The narcissistic abuse cycle usually includes the following stages.

Idealization: Addiction to a narcissist begins when the abuser idealizes his victim, making her feel unique and loved. You think, wow, no one has ever seen my real self like this before! During this stage, the narcissist is attentive, charming, and accommodating. In other words, the perfect partner.
Devaluation of the victim: Over time, and with great skill, the narcissist begins to devalue his victims, belittle them, criticize them, and make them feel worthless. Once an emotional abuser knows he or she has become attached to you, he or she sees little reason to continue the charade.
Ignoring or the silent treatment: With the victim emotionally exhausted and low in self-esteem, the narcissist decides that this person no longer serves his or her needs. Typically, you may be eliminated or subjected to painful silent treatments. This sudden withdrawal can be very disorienting and confusing.
Hoover: After the ignoring phase, the narcissist may decide that it is time to try to “bring” his victim back into the relationship. The abuser may come forward and make promises of change, love, and attention. Do you want to play the role of a narcissistic addict again? The narcissist certainly wants this for his ego.

Unfortunately, this cycle can repeat itself, sometimes several times. The victim finds himself addicted to the emotional ups and downs; There is always hope that the person presented by the narcissist in the initial stages of the relationship will return. Sometimes this clinging to hope lasts for years. The constant push and pull, the promise of love followed by rejection, creates a strong emotional dependence.

Related : 5 Signs of an Altruistic Narcissist

It is not uncommon for victims of narcissists to believe that the narcissist is the love of their life. Narcissists trigger an intense emotional experience in many, making it easy to see why this thought process occurs. However, the crux of the matter is the highs and lows, the drama; This is not love but how trauma bonding works.

Psychological impact

Being addicted to a narcissist severely negatively impacts a person’s mental health. In the end, many wonder, how did I become a shadow of myself? Victims often experience the following.

Anxiety: Uncertainty about the relationship, fear of rejection, and a constant need to please the narcissist can lead to chronic stress, exhaustion, and severe anxiety. Many victims suffer multiple panic attacks, and their physical health deteriorates.
Depression: Emotional abuse and manipulation can erode the victim’s self-esteem, leading to feelings of worthlessness and depression. Everything suddenly seems bleak.
Isolation: Narcissists often deliberately isolate their victims from friends and family, making it difficult for them to seek support or guidance from loved ones.
Cognitive dissonance: Victims may experience cognitive dissonance as they struggle to reconcile the charming, loving partner they initially fell in love with with the cold and abusive person the narcissist has become.

Freedom from narcissistic addiction

Recovering from a narcissistic addiction is a difficult but necessary journey. Here are some crucial steps to help break free from this extremely toxic cycle.

Self-awareness: The first step is to realize that you are in a harmful relationship with a narcissist; Knowledge is power and your friend. This self-consciousness can be really painful. After all, no one wants to pop that initial magic bubble. However, it is necessary to change.
Ask for support: Connect with friends and family who can provide emotional support and guidance. Isolation is a common control style for narcissists, so having a support system is crucial.
No Contact: Your ultimate goal is always to have no contact with the narcissist. The first steps can look like blocking all forms of contact and avoiding any contact with the individual. Doing so may be as difficult as breaking free from typical addictions, such as alcohol, but sticking to the path is worth the outcome.
Set boundaries: If it’s not possible to cut off all relationships, set strict boundaries to protect yourself from further emotional harm. Be clear about what you will and will not tolerate.
Self-Care: Focus on self-care and rebuilding your self-love. Engage in activities that you enjoy and bring you peace while working on the emotional scars of the narcissistic relationship.
Educate Yourself: Learning about narcissism and the dynamics of these relationships can be incredibly empowering. It helps you understand what you’ve been through and that you’re not alone. You can also learn how to avoid falling into similar traps in the future; Your addiction to a narcissist will become your history.
Breaking the Cycle: Recognizing and interrupting the cycle of idealization, devaluation, and hovering. When the narcissist tries to get you back into the relationship, stay strong and remind yourself of the pain and abuse you endured.

FinalThoughts on Narcissistic Addiction

Being addicted to a narcissist is a horrific experience that can wreak havoc on every possible aspect of your life. Breaking free from this toxic cycle is essential for survival. Recovering from narcissistic addiction requires knowledge, support, and a commitment to self-care. Remember that you are not alone in this struggle; Many others have had the same terrible experience. Your journey to healing, calm, and self-discovery is yours to claim.