I know you really want them to be different, but they never will be. Narcissists will always be the same.

Hateful.

Vengeful.

Full of toxic intent.

So bad for you.

Inconsistent.

Oh, but the temptation, isn’t it?

It’s time to highlight everything a narcissist can’t do for you, so you can affirm how much better off you are without them in your life.

Can I hear your chorus of approval from afar…?

I hope so!

Do you think you’ll be happy?

Hope is a natural emotion when you meet someone special, right?

Those butterflies come alive, wondering if love will really come this time from two people meeting and spending time together.

Related : What’s Wrong With Shitting on Narcissists?

Their charming, charismatic nature has made you feel like the luckiest person on the planet.

They seem to be so attentive to you, and in return, they’ve answered all your prayers by simply showing up and being attracted to you.

How can anyone in this situation resist? Everything you’ve ever wanted in a person is being given to you, and so you fall. Hard.

You think you’ll be happy, but it’s time to expose all that magic to be a lie.

However, the most surprising part is how many people are fooling themselves and hoping (here it is again) that things will change.

Are They For Real This Time…?

A conflict with a narcissist will happen at one point or another. Sometimes, all it takes is one argument to never see the two of you talk or meet again, and in other cases, there’s a constant back and forth.

They tell you they can’t stand being around you anymore, and they walk away.

They give you the silent treatment. And then they become your best friend.

What makes a narcissist come back to you after a conflict is two things:

His manipulation, and your tolerance of him.

This doesn’t mean it’s partly your fault – you won’t intentionally cause more trouble for yourself, but your forgiveness allows him to do it again eventually.

The main reason he comes back is because he’s using his toxic charm to get you back. This usually looks like this:

Exploiting your vulnerabilities. What do they know you like? Attention? Flowers? Theater?

Choosing to confess their love to you in the craziest way possible so you fall in love with them and drown in attention because it makes you feel loved again.

Speaking sorry, even taking the blame – two things they never do any other time you’re practically begging them for.

Promising not to do it again. This gives you… you guessed it… hope.

Related : 16 Lines Straight out of the Narcissist Playbook

So if you’re asking yourself, “Are they for real this time?”, the answer is a resounding no.

Do you have fixed plans based on fixed promises?

… I say no. And I know that narcissists sometimes keep their word. They have to, right? In an unwritten contract there has to be some sort of intermittent lull or else there’s no reason for you to stay.

You want someone to keep their word, and in any kind of relationship, you expect it. You’ll also offer it, because that’s where your values ​​lie.

Narcissists don’t have any values.

They’re just pretending to value themselves (basically, they can’t stand who they are), so why should they value you?

Can you think of a time when a narcissist in your life made a promise to you that they knew meant a lot to you?

Maybe it was about taking a day off work to spend time together or finishing a project at home.

Whatever it was, did it happen? Does it happen every time they make a promise?

They can’t do it.

Pursue Them: You Can’t!

It’s what they want—but it’s something you should never do.

I can’t stress this enough. I know we can joke about this, but here’s where I’m getting serious.

Chasing a narcissist will only end badly for you.

It takes away your dignity, pride, control, willpower, and the opportunity to go in another direction to find happiness.

Related : 10 Things Narcissism is, and What it’s Not!

It’s easy to forget who you are when you’re constantly putting someone else before yourself. These are the people narcissists love to find and use—the ones who don’t mind being at the bottom of the luxury pile.

Knowing that no one ever thinks of you in a caring or understanding way makes you feel worthless.

So where do you go to find your worth? You learn to look everywhere but inside yourself!

While you’re chasing a narcissist to beg them to love you back—you’re not thinking about yourself, and all the ways you’re giving away your heart.

So I ask you, I say to you—don’t do it.

The Love You Need

I hate ending threads about anything that might lead you to believe you’re unworthy of love. I want you to remember that this has nothing to do with you.

The love you need will not come from a narcissist.

The love you need has to start within you, and if you are too busy wanting it from them, you will always be giving up on yourself.

Related : 4 Reasons Why You Should Ghost The Narcissist

You will always be looking for ways to fill the void that you need to fill with yourself first, before you can offer your love to the world.

When narcissists come into your life, they do it like a welcome gust of wind after a period of calm weather. They shake you up, they make you feel excited. You wonder where they have been all your life; they will do and say everything they can to reinforce these thoughts.

All their words and actions will come to light.

You think, “This is it. This is my life now. I have found my person.”

The connection will feel so strong.

Then the change will bring you back down to earth with a hard thud.

Change happens with narcissists, but they make you feel like you have done something wrong.

They act isolated. Their anger starts to rise. They become inconsistent in their communication, actions, and promises. They start blaming you for little things. They criticize you.

Over time, you believe them more and more, until you give up on yourself to believe them.

And the worst part?

Related : Did The Narcissist Ever Love You?

You think every step of this is love.

Love isn’t supposed to make you feel this way. It’s not.

It’s an emotion that, when returned to you, makes you feel valuable, safe, secure, and like you’re in a trusting union.

A narcissist will never be able to give you that.