Key Points
A young person whose mother has narcissistic personality disorder has a distorted outlook.
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by an exaggerated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy, among other traits.
Once a person has been deceived, they may constantly suspect that people close to them might be marriage partners.
Research has shown that children of narcissistic parents may struggle with issues such as self-esteem, boundaries, and identity formation. However, little research has been done on the specific relationship issues that children of narcissistic mothers may face.
Studies have suggested that narcissistic parenting can have several negative effects on children. A study published in the Journal of Social Psychology and Personality found that children of narcissistic parents have lower self-esteem and are more likely to be anxious and depressed (Konrath et al., 2011). A separate study in the same journal found that children of narcissistic parents are more likely to develop narcissistic traits themselves, as well as have difficulties in their relationships with others (Barry et al., 2003).
When you are a young person and your mother is a narcissist, your worldview becomes skewed because you are told to see it through your mother’s eyes and do what she tells you. Eventually, you see (or imagine) that most, if not all, relationships are like this. As a result, you may become programmed to avoid relationships and not allow yourself to be vulnerable as an adult.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a need for constant attention and validation. Narcissistic individuals may have difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships, and their behavior can have a detrimental effect on those around them, especially their children.
This is one reason why the focus on personal and relational identity – which has become so common among Gen Z – is now entering mainstream culture. If you don’t know who you are or don’t have a positive sense of identity, it’s hard to connect with another person on an intimate level. In extreme cases, it becomes difficult to connect with people or groups in general, due to social anxiety. When you’re unsure of who you are and have low self-esteem – because someone has always told you that you’re not good enough – it’s hard to trust others or believe that they’re being honest when they show kindness.
Once you’ve been cheated on, you’ll always suspect that the people you’re close to may be involved in extramarital affairs. Without trust, it’s almost impossible to find a real intimate relationship. These issues directly impact your ability to have any kind of meaningful relationship, because you’re constantly questioning yourself and those who love you.
Children of narcissistic mothers often struggle to break free from their mothers. The book, Sons of Narcissistic Mothers, by Randi Fine and Shari Schreiber, LMT, is designed to help men overcome the effects of growing up with a narcissistic mother. It provides practical advice and support for adult sons of narcissistic mothers who have escaped or are in the process of escaping their mothers’ toxic legacy of smothering, manipulation, and control. The guide is designed to help them accept the reality of growing up with a narcissistic mother and help them move forward. If this is your experience, know that it will take time and therapy, but you can heal. You can overcome your childhood trauma and discover your true potential as an adult. In doing so, you can experience more joy and fulfillment, create a life that works the way you want it to, and love the people who bring you joy.
