If there is a narcissist in your life or someone who exhibits traits of a narcissist, you have likely been caught in the middle of the silent treatment.

The silent treatment is not a moment for them to collect their thoughts or reflect. They are not going to say, “I may be silent for a day or two while I think about what happened, but I hope we can work this out together.”

The silent treatment is a weapon.

They are just silent. They are like silent television, and while you are watching them, you feel uncertain and anxious.

This is a deliberate tactic used to manipulate you!

WhatExactlyIsTheSilentTreatment?

There is nothing more emotionally draining than someone who simply stops interacting with you.

It is a type of passive-aggressive behavior that a narcissist displays when they want to express their disapproval of you. You did something that upset them — but that doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.

Anger doesn’t always have to be tantrums, screaming and swearing matches, or physical abuse. It can be when everything stops, and not a single cell in their body offers you a warm nod or a reassuring word until they feel satisfied with making you unhappy or upset.

Related : These Are The Most Toxic Traits Of The Narcissist

The ignoring aspect of the silent treatment is intentional, and the narcissist is undoubtedly enjoying every second of it as they watch you squirm and warily move around them looking for ways to their heart (any heart, right?)

Public or Private – It Doesn’t Matter

The most vile part of the silent treatment is that it doesn’t matter where you are. The narcissist wouldn’t care, in fact, if they were to silently treat you in public, they would enjoy the discomfort that seeps out of you.

Seeing your confused face in a room full of people laughing, joking, and smiling will be exactly the call they’re looking for to tell them what they’re doing is working.

If you’re in a private setting, like your home or out on your own, you’ll still be subject to the silent treatment if the narcissist feels you deserve it.

As much as you wish things would go back to normal, you may express it to please the narcissist, who knows they’ve got you where they want you.

But they’ll stop when they’re ready.

Why is the silent treatment so common among narcissists?

Let’s take a look at why the silent treatment is a narcissist’s weapon of choice.

It’s highly effective – it works on them every time, creating high levels of anticipatory anxiety in their victim.

It’s flexible – it can be done anytime, anywhere, and without warning, making it a great way to surprise the best of days.

It can be used against anyone – family, friends, coworkers, even boyfriends. If the narcissist wants to leave his silent mark – he can, and he will.

It starts with the victim’s self-reflection. “What did I do wrong?” This focuses much less, if at all, on “Why is this person giving me the silent treatment – this is not right.”

You apologize for things you didn’t do. This pleases the narcissist, who constantly feels like he owes you something.

Seeing how the narcissist always wins when it comes to the silent treatment is why they regularly use it as a manipulation tool to make you feel bad about yourself. Again.

Silent Treatment Examples

Example 1

The most common example of the silent treatment is between spouses, where the spouse asks if something is wrong or if everything is okay. The narcissistic spouse may respond in a minimal way and say that everything is okay, or remain silent.

The spouse asks more questions, but they don’t lead anywhere, leaving them feeling confused and suspicious that they did something wrong.

They immediately look inward, blaming themselves for something that didn’t even happen or that they don’t deserve a healthy, communicative response.

Example 2

You’re at a social event, talking to people you know and may have met that night.

You’re with your spouse and want to make a good impression by being engaged and seeming happy and confident. You glance at your spouse across the room, and it’s pretty clear that there’s a problem.

You reach them, and they start talking to the nearest person, who avoids you. Everyone greets you and makes you feel welcome, but your main concern is your mistakes.

This is another common tactic, and the weapon of the silent treatment is revealed to drown in annoyance.

What can you do about it?

Staying calm is the foundation of everything else you will build on. If you want to notice this weapon of defense, you can, but that doesn’t mean you should pull out your sword and fight.

Related : Avoiding The Narcissist Guilt Trip: How To Protect Your Self-Esteem

Narcissists want you to feel stressed. They enjoy your discomfort, knowing that they are in control and enjoying watching you squirm through the entire process.

If the narcissist in your life is giving you the silent treatment – ​​giving them the space they need to be able to do that is what works best. Engaging in it is a response, and they are looking for any reaction from you to know that what they are doing is working.

Put yourself first.

What’sTheBottomLine?

It sounds so harmless – but we know it’s not. The silent treatment is a very unfair way to deal with feelings, but the narcissist doesn’t know any better.

The victim may feel like they can’t talk about it, or that they will understand, or believe what they are saying.

That’s the nature of the silent treatment – ​​and why the narcissist sees it as a powerful weapon to leave you feeling punished.

No one deserves to be treated this way – least of all someone who has done nothing wrong, and that’s something to remember if you fall for the mind games the narcissist plays in your life.

The silent treatment is unexpected, and if you play the victim, leaving the narcissist feeling like the cat who got the cream.