The hidden narcissist is increasingly being exposed, along with their predatory nature lurking beneath their apparent helplessness and kindness. I have previously written that the hidden narcissist is a seed dormant in anyone who has suffered complex trauma, waiting to sprout at any moment. However, there is another type of hidden narcissist that is more difficult to detect: the schizoid narcissist.
When someone is abused in childhood, their natural reactions range from confrontation to escape, sycophancy, or freezing. Confrontation is impossible for them due to their extreme vulnerability, and escape is not an option either, given their complete helplessness in the outside world. This leaves them with only two options: sycophancy—worshiping the parent and trying to win their favor through submission—or freezing—detaching from reality and drifting into their safe world of fantasy.
The typical narcissist, through their narcissistic parent, is given the power to achieve and strive for superiority, which cultivates in them a strong will and a sense of entitlement. As for covert narcissists, because they are restrained and forced to comply, they choose to flatter, becoming excessively compliant and eager to gain the approval of their domineering parent.
In contrast, the covert schizoid narcissist suffered from complete neglect. They received little attention or feedback. They were not taught what constituted good behavior, nor were they informed of their place within the dysfunctional family environment. They were given no responsibility, no voice, no value—only to remain silent and not cause trouble.
Aware, subconsciously, of their unloved and unwanted nature, the schizoid internalized a burning sense of unworthiness and inferiority, rooted in toxic shame. This became the seed of their narcissistic disorder. Due to their lack of interaction with the outside world, they developed a sense of alienation, which left them emotionally detached, as if viewing life through a psychological window.
The detachment from reality and retreat into fantasy allowed the schizoid personality to numb the pain of abuse and feelings of worthlessness. Once immersed in their inner world, they could conjure a false sense of connection and control. Within their abusive families, the schizoid personality’s ability to resist was suppressed. Anger was met with greater anger, and frustration with greater frustration. Shame and terror became unbearable. The schizoid personality was forced to detach from their external experiences and retreat into their inner world in search of solace.
The Life Of ASchizophrenic
A schizophrenic lives in a state of detachment and disconnection from reality. They feel numb to their own humanity, unable to comprehend their surroundings. They may appear isolated, absent-minded, or mentally absent. They have one foot in reality and the other in their imagination. They may spend long periods fantasizing and dreaming of great successes, escaping their lives to another place, striving for greater achievements or to become a new person.
Schizophrenics are creative, given their unique perspective as outsiders to reality. They think unconventionally, and their thoughts venture into worlds rarely considered by the average person. Narcissists exploit schizophrenia to inflate their egos and unusual preferences, relying heavily on them to defy reality and imagine themselves as superior and great. Some become artists, musicians, or writers, or pursue creative careers.
Related : What Lies Within A Narcissist’s Core
Schizophrenics are characterized by a marked emotional coldness and a clear indifference to the opinions of others. They may experience a brief burst of enthusiasm, but it quickly fades. They prefer solitude to the company of others. They may also experience a dissociative reaction after the end of a romantic relationship. In such cases, the person may isolate themselves, become asexual, or avoid social events for an extended period. In the case of a covert dissociative narcissist, this state is permanent, having been present since childhood.
Impossible Love
A dissociative narcissist is typically isolated from the world in their dissociative state. What distinguishes them from other narcissists is their ability to fuel their narcissistic self-satisfaction through their imagination when external sources are scarce.
For this reason, a dissociative narcissist doesn’t need to manipulate, control, or shame others. In this sense, they represent the lesser of two evils. They tend to be honest and cooperative, and seem somewhat content with your presence. You get the feeling they would be happy with you or without you. Despite their addiction to narcissistic gratification, they don’t feel any urgent need to obtain it from you, as they can satisfy it themselves when necessary. However, if you offer this gratification spontaneously in the form of attention, sexual intimacy, compliments, or favors, the schizoid narcissist will readily accept it.
But if the schizoid narcissist remains isolated for an extended period, the chronic loneliness becomes unbearable. Escaping reality, using drugs, or excessively watching TV series or pornography no longer provides the same dopamine boost they once did. Therefore, the schizoid narcissist returns to the world, mingling with people in search of narcissistic gratification, still confident in their ability to endure the unsettling emptiness should they fail to obtain it.
Like any other covert narcissist, the schizoid narcissist suffers from low self-esteem and repressed anger. For this reason, they are wary of excessive publicity and often retreat into isolation after their narcissistic gratification has been fully satisfied. Because of their limited capacity for intimacy, they oscillate between wanting you and not caring about you. In this way, the covert narcissist with schizoid personality disorder resembles someone with avoidant personality disorder. Their displays of affection are bland, and their psychological manipulation lacks malice. You might see them as eccentric, intriguing, or simply unique.
Because of their repressed, hidden anger, the schizoid narcissist may become sadistic or domineering toward submissive and dependent individuals who offer themselves up as sacrifices in the hope of gaining their love. These individuals are often raised by schizoid narcissistic parents. As a result, they seek to recreate their childhood with the hidden schizoid narcissist, believing they will finally receive the love they never experienced.
However, the limits of the schizoid narcissist’s “love” soon become apparent, revealing a volatile dynamic between avoidance and anxiety, and attraction and attraction. This ultimately leads to disappointment or acceptance of a rigid status quo where love becomes a scarce commodity controlled by the hidden schizoid narcissist.
It is easy to fall in love with a schizoid narcissist, as their indifference to others lends them an aura of superiority. But this does not stem from trust, but rather from a sense of security derived from living in a fantasy world detached from reality and free from disturbances. But when the pressure on the schizophrenic increases, or when you demand more from them, cracks begin to appear.
As for those who embark on the pursuit of a schizophrenic’s love, they will inevitably be overwhelmed by a sense of despair. The more you sacrifice your self-worth, dignity, and resources, the more the schizophrenic gleefully exploits them before retreating to their isolated fortress. Meanwhile, the relationship never progresses; your love is swallowed up by the void, never to be seen again—not in the schizophrenic’s eyes, nor in their words, nor in their actions. They remain completely indifferent, unchanged throughout the time they spent with you.
