While we live in a world full of beauty, love, depth, feelings, thoughts, and experiences, narcissists do not. They have no power to see such a world, nor to appreciate anything in it, including you, and so waste no time there trying. They prefer instead to bring people into a labyrinthine world that they can control.
Narcissists cannot work in any deep way with another person, nor are they interested in learning how. But they are so dependent on others to survive, to advance, to receive praise, and to fulfill their hidden, uncontrollable desire to thwart, humiliate, or destroy, as often as surreptitiously as possible so that they can enjoy the other person’s confusion. .
Narcissists are unable to offer any kind of insight, recognition, response, or reciprocity that is part of a healthy, fulfilling life; They can actually only work in a very limited range of their own making. They can only control and stay in the people who willingly come to this realm.
The problem is that most people don’t realize that they have willingly entered the unhealthy maze world of narcissists. They believed they were walking the path to a mutual relationship with someone who was only holding a part of themselves, not someone completely incapable of love and hiding a selfish agenda and bad faith.
Once a person enters this labyrinthine world, the narcissist truly believes that they don’t have to take responsibility for anything they do to the other person, especially anything that he or she doesn’t do for the other person, because someone else willingly volunteers for them and it’s their choice to stay – no matter the weather.
Narcissists attempt to keep people in their labyrinthine world for extended periods by using a variety of well-documented, tried, and tested techniques. These techniques include intimacy followed by silent treatment, intermittent praise, flattery with progressively longer periods in between, saying and behaving in contrasting ways, using language that can have different meanings, passive aggression, push-pull technique, etc. Designed to keep you focused on them and to keep you trying so hard to get close to them making sure that never happens, as in reality there is nothing to get close to.
It is very easy to use these manipulative techniques if you do not have great feelings or interest in other people. When you are in the narcissist’s world, you are in a constant state of trying to solve an unsolvable puzzle.
The secret is that there is nothing else for them. nothing. Yes, they enjoyed (perhaps intensely) moments with you, but not in the same way as you did. There is no profound impact on them after that. For them, it’s like they just watched an interesting movie, nothing more. These deeply rooted self-serving dysfunctions always come back again no matter how connected they are at any given moment by your opposite. They are just attractive actors.
Narcissists are one-dimensional, they can’t just love and take care of themselves. The longer they can confuse you into believing that there is something more to them, that it is leading towards something special, or that you are helping them become a better person, the more they can get out of you now or in the future.
Leaving the narcissist’s world means turning out the lights hanging on them and putting the big spotlight on them. To see them to see how disappointing they are under their facade and to see how amazing you are. Yes, you are, the one looking for the answers so you can leave the nightmare, so you can grow, because you are the interesting one. The next step is to turn them into a distant memory, little by little, by de-contacting yourself with them so that later you can focus your energy on yourself and your life. It is, in any sane world, where someone as complex, loving, multifaceted, and profound as yourself would satisfy the needs of a boring, predictable, and one-dimensional narcissist.
