You might think everyone wants happiness, right? I mean, we’re always being sold ways to happiness, as if there’s an underlying pressure to fit in.

For some of us, happiness is easy. It’s a feeling we don’t take for granted, and we want to eventually find it with someone we love.

For narcissists, happiness is completely different and easier to achieve than it is to find.

A happiness they’ll never find, and I want to explain what it all means.

The Endless Quest

For you, it’s true. Narcissists aren’t looking for the kind of happiness you’re looking for.

While you’re yearning for love, compatibility, and understanding, they’re dreaming of stealing your happiness and having someone they can control.

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This contradiction only leads to one thing: pain.

So, yes, the happiness you’re dreaming of is the happiness we’re going to talk about today, because that’s the kind of happiness a narcissist will never find.

Happiness: Different Levels

What do you see when you see a narcissist who looks happy?

I see someone who looks extremely happy. They’re smiling, laughing, and enjoying the moment.

In fact, for a long time, I didn’t fully believe that narcissists couldn’t find happiness, because I always saw them happy at some point.

The more I delved into narcissism, the more I realized that being happy in one moment and finding it with someone else are two entirely different concepts.

Not only that, but the two concepts involve the narcissist being or doing entirely different things.

Happiness in a Moment

We all know it, right? That moment when you or someone else tells a joke and you all laugh.

Or what about hearing your favorite song? Maybe it’s the feeling of taking a long shower after a five-mile hike.

Happiness is something we all feel, even narcissists. I’d love to tell you that they’re not good at any of it, but unfortunately, they may be filled with springtime joy just like you and I.

But you know what? It’s fleeting.

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It doesn’t last with narcissists. They may be content, but they rely on material things to feel happy.

As for you and me? We often want to hold on to happiness longer, because it is, in fact, happiness!

We love it! We find it in the simplest things because we are open to it and to what it makes us feel.

Narcissists are not like that at all!

Finding Happiness

Unlike momentary happiness, finding happiness requires your faith and trust in the world that you will find someone to love, and who will love you back.

It’s the happy ending we all long for. When two souls meet. When you feel a little better about the world because you find someone to be with.

FindingHappiness involves several factors:

• You have to be vulnerable. Allow yourself to be open to love.
• You have to learn to trust the process. Take risks for someone you believe is worthy.
• You have to let your guard down. Don’t push away someone you know you’ve fallen in love with.
• You must be willing to share your life with him—every emotion, every twist and turn of your story together—because that’s what weaves your love together.

Shall we stop here for a coffee break?

I seriously think we need to, because this is the part where we have to openly admit that narcissists are incapable of doing anything about finding happiness.

The question is, why?

The Real Reason…

I could simply say, “Because they’re narcissists!” But we all want that prolonged erosion, don’t we?

Narcissists are so busy maintaining a selfish image that they don’t really delve into finding happiness for themselves.

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They don’t know how to be happy. They know how to fake it with a cute joke, or that hot shower.

It’s all superficial happiness they think is appropriate and appropriate for the moment.

Hot shower? Feels good!

Funny joke? Laugh!

Finding the love of your life and living happily ever after? Impossible!

The painful part for victims of narcissistic abuse everywhere is that this applies to all narcissists.

You’ll never be able to get them to fully open up and feel vulnerable.

Seeing A Narcissist Happy…?

It’s possible. Sure, there will be times when you see them extremely happy. Victims often tell me how much they wish they could capture that moment in time and hide it, because it’s fleeting and rare.

Narcissists seem almost like normal people when you see them feeling happy about something, which is another reason why victims try to humanize them and make excuses for the rest of their behavior.

But all you have to do is look closely to see that their happiness isn’t based on the idea of ​​finding a happy ending with you.

Instead, it’s more likely to be due to their performance in front of a crowd of eager listeners (their audience).

You might notice their happiness while talking to a stranger on the street, as many victims say.

Narcissists are more concerned with impressing strangers than pleasing their family or friends.

First impressions, right?

It’s Not Your Fault You Didn’t Do Anything

It’s not your fault that they can’t love you the way they should. They can’t love anyone the way they should.

Taking it personally only increases your low self-esteem and feeds the monster that’s eating away at your self-esteem now.

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You can beat yourself up over doing the right thing, cooking them their favorite meal every night, having the best sex ever, complimenting them daily…

…Why?

They’ll capture your attention, but they won’t be able to transcend their insecurities and egos to truly love you.

So, chasing this desire, this wish; this dream?

It’s a waste of time.

And it can be very overwhelming. I mean, you want what you know you can’t have, but you also think you might get it anyway.

Save yourself a lot of pain and admit how difficult it is for them to love anyone, and that it has nothing to do with you and your beauty.

Better find your own happiness.

If you want to find eternal happiness accompanied by a dose of respect and loyalty, staying with a narcissist is nothing but a huge waste of time.

I won’t bother wishing, hoping, or believing that everything will change with time, because it won’t.

My best advice is to forge your own path away from the narcissist and find your own happiness with someone willing to share theirs with you.