Whether you break up with the narcissist or they break up with you, they’ll want to move on quickly.
Don’t get me wrong. They’re still, by habit, watching out for you, but that’s their business now.
Because they believe they’re the best and most important person in the world, protecting themselves will take priority over everything else.
If you want to know the real reason a narcissist is so keen to move on, I need to get your attention fast.
Fasten your seatbelts.
Narcissists: Human Cars
I like to call them human cars, because that’s exactly what they are.
Picture it like this: You’re driving home from work, and you’re running low. You’re desperate to find a gas station, and you arrive just in time.
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Anxiety over!
You pull up, fill up, and you and your car are happier. Narcissists are the same way, in their need for fuel. They treat it as fuel for themselves, begging, borrowing, and stealing from anyone willing to provide it.
Supply may be your way of begging to know what’s wrong when they’re deliberately ignoring you.
It manifests in how you stop eating pasta because they tell you it makes you look bloated. It manifests in how you stop chasing your dreams because they tell you you’re just a normal person.
Suddenly, they ignore your reaction to feel good.
It’s A State Of Emptiness
The painful truth for them, isn’t it?
Without you, their supply runs out and they run out. They have nothing and no one to draw from, and they quickly begin to suffer.
Panic takes over.
What do I do now?
Where do I go?
How can I improve this?
Choose a topic. Narcissists are capable of moving on, and they’ll do so in a heartbeat. They don’t care about missing you or wishing things were different. Missing you isn’t because of your love.
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Missing you is because of what you’ve done for them and everything you’ve given them because of who you are and who you wanted to be for them.
When a narcissist runs out of patience, they’ll turn to the first person who resembles you in these qualities.
The forgiving.
The kind.
The vulnerable.
The person who needs love.
The people-pleaser.
The shy.
The good listener.
The apologetic.
The empath.
Wanted: Supply
I know for a fact that if a narcissist could post job ads, they would. If they could officially advertise vacancies, they would.
Giving them what they need is a feeling I can’t describe as normal. It’s not normal for others to take what they need for themselves.
And I think what they take from you, you earn yourself, right?
Through things you love, a job that makes you happy, or spending real time with someone you love.
Narcissists can’t naturally produce what they need, so they see what you have and want it.
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Luckily for them, they know exactly what to look for in someone with the right traits. It’s commonplace, and it doesn’t take long.
Remember—this is what they live for.
They’re professionals.
What Supply Looks Like
How much of this do you actually feel?
Narcissists are looking for flattery or praise from you, and you willingly give it to them.
You fall into the trap whenever they play the victim, giving them the attention and sympathy they actively seek.
Believe them when they tell you your reality isn’t perfect. You agree that you’re simply “confused.”
When you’re criticized, you start to stop doing what’s causing the criticism, even if it’s just feeling happy or enjoying a hobby you’ve always loved.
When they shut you up for no reason, you ask what you did wrong and how you can improve.
Does any of this sound familiar?
What is the feeling of supply?
For a narcissist, the feeling of supply is wonderful. It’s what they live for. The feeling of knowing they have control over a situation, a person, or another person’s emotions is incomparable.
Watching their world move and change around them at their command is what a narcissist lives for.
And I can’t stress enough—they don’t care about your feelings.
Have you ever felt like your energy was being drained? You may not have known what was going on, but I want you to reflect for a moment.
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Giving your energy—whatever form it takes—can feel like:
Pure exhaustion. You don’t know why you’re so tired, but you feel it.
Losing yourself more and more. What’s driving you away from yourself?
Confusing. Why would someone who claims to love and care about you feel so determined to make you miserable?
Painful. You just want to love and be loved. It shouldn’t be this way.
Frustrating. Is this your life right now?
Personalized anxiety. What can you do to make it right, if anything?
You see, however the narcissist feels about your energy, you’ll feel the exact opposite.
So, you’re starting to understand why a narcissist needs to get over it quickly, right?
Without the high they feel when they make you feel so bad, they’ll get nowhere.
They need someone else to hold them over.
Don’t Get Dragged : Someone Else’s Problem
A narcissist’s need for support shouldn’t be your problem. It’s not your fault that they need to make others feel this way just to feel good.
I urge you to consider what a narcissist’s cycle of abuse looks like so you can take a step forward.
For them, getting over it quickly is essential if they want to maintain support.
They’ll find the first person who meets all of their next victim’s criteria.
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They want someone who cares.
Someone who is forgiving.
Someone who is kind.
Someone who doesn’t need a lot of love to feel wanted and appreciated.
Someone who makes excuses for themselves.
Someone with triggers and a difficult past.
Someone who is willing to let go of their boundaries.
When he’s gone, he’ll embrace it and begin a whole new cycle with him.
That’s not your problem, but knowing what he’ll do next will give you a clearer idea of what he’s doing now—with you.
To say you’re better off without the narcissist is an understatement.
If you’re praying to God to deliver you from a narcissist, start with a simple idea: The misery they feel isn’t supposed to exist if you learn to respond with indifference.
Be gloomy. Indifferent. Ignore them. Give them nothing when they want everything.
Start by realizing that every time you give them what they want, you lose a bigger part of yourself.
Life is too short to give yourself up.
