Whether you break up with the narcissist or they break up with you, they’ll want to move on quickly.
Don’t get me wrong. They’re still, by habit, watching out for you, but that’s their business now.
Because they believe they’re the best and most important person in the world, protecting themselves will take priority over everything else.
If you want to know the real reason a narcissist is so keen to move on, I need to get your attention fast.
Fasten your seatbelts.
Narcissists: Human Cars
I like to call them human cars, because that’s exactly what they are.
Picture it like this: You’re driving home from work, and you’re running low. You’re desperate to find a gas station, and you arrive just in time.
Anxiety over!
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You pull up, fill up, and you and your car are happier. Narcissists are the same way, in their need for fuel. They treat it as fuel for themselves, begging, borrowing, and stealing from anyone willing to provide it.
Supply may be your way of begging to know what’s wrong when they’re deliberately ignoring you.
It manifests in how you stop eating pasta because they tell you it makes you look bloated. It manifests in how you stop chasing your dreams because they tell you you’re just a normal person.
Suddenly, they ignore your reaction to feel good.
It’s A State Of Emptiness
The painful truth for them, isn’t it?
Without you, their supply runs out and they run out. They have nothing and no one to draw from, and they quickly begin to suffer.
Panic takes over.
What do I do now?
Where do I go?
How can I improve this?
Choose a topic. Narcissists are capable of moving on, and they’ll do so in a heartbeat. They don’t care about missing you or wishing things were different. Missing you isn’t because of your love.
Missing you is because of what you’ve done for them and everything you’ve given them because of who you are and who you wanted to be for them.
When a narcissist runs out of patience, they’ll turn to the first person who resembles you in these qualities.
The forgiving.
The kind.
The vulnerable.
The person who needs love.
The people-pleaser.
The shy.
The good listener.
The apologetic.
The empath.
Wanted: Supply
I know for a fact that if a narcissist could post job ads, they would. If they could officially advertise vacancies, they would.
Giving them what they need is a feeling I can’t describe as normal. It’s not normal for others to take what they need for themselves.
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And I think what they take from you, you earn yourself, right?
Through things you love, a job that makes you happy, or spending real time with someone you love.
Narcissists can’t naturally produce what they need, so they see what you have and want it.
Luckily for them, they know exactly what they’re looking for in someone with the right traits. It’s commonplace, and it doesn’t take long.
Remember—this is what they live for.
They’re professionals.
What Supply Looks Like
How much of this do you actually feel?
Narcissists are looking for flattery or praise from you, and you willingly give it to them.
You fall into the trap whenever they play the victim, giving them the attention and sympathy they actively seek.
Believe them when they tell you your reality isn’t perfect. You agree that you’re simply “confused.”
When you’re criticized, you start to stop doing what’s causing the criticism, even if it’s just feeling happy or enjoying a hobby you’ve always loved.
When they shut you up for no reason, you ask them what you did wrong and how you can improve.
Do any of these things sound familiar to you?
What Does Supply Feel Like
For a narcissist, supply is an amazing feeling. It’s what they live for. The feeling of knowing they’ve taken control of a situation, a person, or someone else’s emotions is incomparable.
Watching their world move and change around them at their command is what they live for.
And I can’t stress enough that they don’t care how you feel.
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Have you ever felt like your supply was being drained? You may not have known what was happening at the time, but I want you to reflect for a moment.
Exerting your energy—in whatever form—can feel like:
Pure exhaustion. You have no idea why you’re tired, but you feel it.
Losing yourself more and more. What’s driving you away from yourself?
It’s baffling. Why would someone who claims to love and care about you feel so determined to make you miserable? It hurts. All you want is to love and be loved. It shouldn’t be this way.
Frustrating. Is this your life now?
Anxiety personified. What, if anything, can you do right?
You see, however much the narcissist feels about your supply, you’ll feel the exact opposite.
So, you’re starting to understand why the narcissist needs to get over it so quickly, right?
Without the high they feel when they make you feel this bad, they’d get nothing.
They need someone else to control them.
Don’t Get Drifted: Someone Else’s Problem
The narcissist’s need for supply shouldn’t be your problem. It’s not your fault that they need to make others feel this way just to feel good.
I urge you to consider what the cycle of narcissistic abuse looks like, so you can take a step forward.
For them, getting over it quickly is essential to ensure the abuse continues.
They’ll find the first person who meets all the needs of their next victim.
They want someone who cares.
Someone who forgives. A nice person.
Someone who doesn’t need a lot of love to feel wanted and appreciated.
Someone who makes excuses for them.
Someone with triggers and a difficult past.
Someone who is willing to push their boundaries.
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When they push their boundaries, they’ll embrace that person and start a new cycle with them.
That’s not your problem, but knowing what they’ll do next will give you a clearer picture of what they’ve been doing now—to you.
To say you’re better off without the narcissist is a gross understatement. If you’re praying to be free from the narcissist, start with the simple idea that the good that makes you miserable isn’t supposed to exist if you learn to respond with a cool head.
Be gloomy. Be indifferent. Ignore them. Give them nothing when they want everything.
Start by realizing that every time you give them what they want, you lose a bigger part of yourself.
Life is too short to give yourself up.
