From a young age, I knew I didn’t want to grow up like my mother. She was selfish, cold, and mostly uninterested in what anyone had to say, including me.
She is a narcissist and has many terrible personality traits and traits besides narcissism. However, she also has some good things: a strong sense of self, an independent nature, and the ability to express her opinion without caring what others think.
However, I refused to be like her in any way, which was just as unhealthy as if I was imitating her every move and mood. I tend to keep my anger to myself, as I do to people, and take the blame for every mistake or mistake in the relationship onto myself.
When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or parents, you tend to experience trauma frequently. This is why many survivors of narcissistic abuse suffer from PTSD. You are always ready to protect yourself but at the same time you are convinced that you will fail.
Related: Why I Fought So Hard To Protect My Children From Their Father
Survivors of narcissistic abuse rarely become narcissists themselves, but they tend to be the exact opposite of narcissists as empaths or echolalia. We know what empaths are – people who are deeply in tune with the feelings of those around them, but the label echolalia is not widely known.
Echoists lack a voice and fear confrontation or rejection.
While empaths differ from narcissists in their ability to see and feel things from others’ point of view, empaths contrast with narcissists in the way they avoid the spotlight and stifle their own needs.
At the heart of every echo of growing up with a narcissistic parent is the desire not to be like them. Instead of adopting a more balanced outlook or behavior, they act in the opposite way as narcissists do.
No matter how much Echo hates narcissistic personality traits, he still feels the need for the narcissistic presence in his life.
Author and psychotherapist Donna Cristina Savery writes in her book “Echo: The Silent Response” about the relationship between echolalia and narcissists.
Related: 15 Phrases Manipulative People Use To Make You Trust Them
“They always have a narcissistic parent or partner at the center of their life [echo], and there is often a pattern of repeatedly searching for a dominant narcissistic partner.”
Here are some ways in which echolalia differs from narcissists.
- Narcissists always want to be the center of attention, while echolalia hate being seen. They will choose shadows to highlight almost every time.
- Relationships are the narcissist’s first priority, while the narcissist puts his own needs and desires first.
- Echoists have difficulty speaking publicly in a group setting. It doesn’t matter if it’s a Zoom call or a roundtable discussion; Echo stay calm
- When it comes to relationships with narcissists, the echoes rarely stop at one. It’s as if the echoist specializes in toxic and unhealthy relationships.
- Echoists would rather cut off their own hands than cause pain and suffering to someone else.
- People with echoes tend to have a mean inner voice that likes to criticize and bully them.
- Narcissists have difficulty setting boundaries, and echolalia have difficulty setting boundaries.
- Echoists are approval seekers; Narcissists want you to confirm that they made the right decision or acted in the best possible way.
- It is difficult for people with echoes to receive praise because they do not know how to deal with it.
- Narcissists are sensitive to themselves, and echolalia are extremely sensitive to everyone but themselves.
- The echo does not ask for help; They’ve been trained not to expect it or feel like they deserve it.
- People with echoes feel suspicious of anything that makes them happy or feels comfortable. They are always waiting for the scary shoe to fall on their heads.
- Narcissists do what they want, but echolalia feel as though they must always be careful not to upset someone, or else they might be attacked.
- Echo was not allowed to shine as children and they still tend to hide their talents, opinions, ideas and talents.
There are no easy answers on how to break free from his self-imposed limitations. Perhaps the first thing to do is to recognize the prison they have placed their personalities in and how important their wants and desires are.
