The thing about being with a toxic partner is that you know they’re bad for you, but somehow you can’t force yourself to cut them out of your life completely.
You are with someone who causes you nothing but pain, so why stay?
As Dr. Phil puts it: “If you choose the behavior of staying with a sick and destructive partner, you are choosing the consequences of pain and suffering in your love life.”
Your partner erodes your self-confidence, shreds your self-esteem, destroys your energy and throws you into a dark depression.
But when you break up with him, he brings you back into the relationship with his sweet words, makeup gifts, and pitiful pleas.
No matter what he promised, you knew he would betray you again with his lying words and abusive behavior.
However, you forgive him and continue the destructive cycle of honeymoon reconciliation, psychological or physical abuse from your partner, and when you can no longer tolerate his abuse, you leave him.
You are stronger than you realize.
If my abusive boyfriend had not left me for another woman, I would never have reached my full potential.
When my fiancé and I broke up, I felt emotionally paralyzed. I felt empty, afraid and sad. I experienced a roller coaster of painful emotions. At one point I wanted to hit him on the head with my high heel because of his abuse and betrayal. The next moment, I felt paralyzed with grief over the loss of my relationship. My abandonment issues resurfaced. I was afraid that I couldn’t take care of myself and that I would never find a man who would truly love me. I was afraid of falling through the cracks and becoming a bag lady.
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If my abusive fiancé had not broken up with me, I would never have written my second and third book. I never had the opportunity to help women with low self-esteem issues. I was going to live my life under the control of a narcissistic, controlling, cuckoo man.
The truth is that my abusive fiancé did for me what I couldn’t do for myself. He broke off our relationship permanently and I got my life back.
Ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands, and ex-lovers know exactly what to say and do to attract you back into the relationship.
You broke up with your boyfriend or husband because he was isolated, neglectful, and unable to communicate, or because he cheated on you or was verbally or physically abusive to you.
You’re trying to go on with your life without him, and then suddenly, unexpectedly, he calls you.
He knows your weaknesses and will play you like a banjo.
At first, it’s just small talk, and he’ll ask in his nervous voice, “How are you?” or “How’s work?”
You agree to have coffee with him, you know, just to “talk.” He knows that if he can get you to talk to him, he can soften your heart and get you to have dinner and drinks with him.
You tell yourself you can handle it, and before you know it, you’re sleeping with him and back in the worst relationship of your life.
The cycle of abuse begins again.
If you really want him out of your life, you should block all contact.
Don’t answer his phone calls.
Do not return his texts or emails.
Do not open your door to his sudden visits to give him the opportunity to return to your life.
Otherwise you will prolong your heartbreak indefinitely.
