The thing about being with a toxic partner is that you know they’re bad for you, but somehow you can’t cut yourself out of your life completely.
You’re with someone who only causes you pain, so why stay?
To quote from Dr. Phil: “If you choose the behavior of staying with a partner who is sick and destructive, you choose the consequences of pain and suffering in your love life.”
Your partner erodes your confidence, tears your self-esteem, strengthens your nuclear energy and throws you into a dark depression.
But when you break up with him – he puts you back into a relationship with him with his sweet talk, make-up gifts, and pathetic pleas.
No matter what he promises, you know that he will betray you again with his false words and abusive behavior.
However, you forgive him and go on with the destructive cycle of honeymoon reconciliation, psychological or physical abuse from your partner, and when you can no longer bear his mistreatment, you leave him.
You are stronger than you realize.
Had my abusive fiancé not left me for another woman, I would never have realized my full potential.
When my fiancé and I broke up, I felt emotionally crippled. I felt empty, scared and sad. I experienced a vortex of painful emotions. In one minute I wanted to hit him on the head with a heel for his abuse and betrayal. The next moment I was paralyzed with grief over the loss of my relationship. Abandonment issues resurfaced. I was afraid that I couldn’t take care of myself and that I would never find a man who would truly love me. I was afraid of falling through the cracks and becoming a bag lady.
Related: 6 Early Red Flags Of A Toxic Relationship
If my abusive fiancé hadn’t broken up with me, I wouldn’t have written my second and third books. I have never had the opportunity to help women with low self-esteem issues. I would have lived my life under the thumb of a man who was narcissistic, controlling, and cuckoo.
The truth was, my abusive fiancé did to me what I couldn’t do to myself. He broke off our relationship permanently and I got my life back.
Ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands, and ex-lovers know exactly what to say and do to get you back into the relationship.
You broke up with your boyfriend or spouse because he was withdrawn, neglectful, and uncommunicative, cheated on you, or was verbally or physically abusive.
You’re trying to get on with your life without him in it – and then all of a sudden, quite unexpectedly, he calls you.
He knows your weaknesses and will play you like a banjo.
At first, it was small talk – he would ask in a hushed voice, “How are you?” or “How’s work?”
You agree to have coffee with him, you know, just to “talk”. He knows if he can get you talking to him, he can soften your heart and make you have dinner and drinks with him.
You tell yourself you can handle it and before you know it, you’re sleeping with him and back in the worst relationship of your life.
And the cycle of abuse begins again.
If you want him out of your life, you must block all contact.
Don’t answer his phone calls.
Don’t return his texts or emails.
Do not open your door to his sudden visits to allow him to return to your life.
