All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.
George Orwell
A visionary lies to himself; a liar only lies to others.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Why would anyone want to lead a group or a city—let alone a state or a nation? Politicians may have a lot to offer. I wouldn’t deny that to our leaders. But what do we know about why some people seek leadership? What predisposes someone to believe they can do better than others, to the point where they are willing to take the heat and compete?
There must be a healthy dose of self-confidence and pride. For some, perhaps a touch of narcissism as well.
The Path to Narcissism:
What predisposes people to narcissism?
Some people experience severe and profound deprivation early in life. They may seek compensation through success in the arts, money, power, or fame. This is not unusual and can be a noble calling. A person rises from pain and feels the desire to succeed. This becomes narcissistic when he is willing to hurt others to achieve his goals. The urge to succeed is desperate and others should get out of the way.
Others develop a need for validation like a drug addict who needs drugs—endlessly. He may have had good parents who tried to give him the love he needed, but it was never enough. (Example: Johnny’s greatest trauma was when his little brother was born.)
Still, others have a constitutional tendency to see others as objects to serve their needs. It is difficult for them to truly identify with another person; their own needs are so demanding. Narcissists often fail to truly care about others unless there is something in it for them (healthy narcissism is found in young children and some people never grow out of it.)
Interestingly, about five percent of people with bipolar disorder also have narcissistic personality disorder. There is no doubt that the mood swings of bipolar disorder affect a person’s sense of self. But unlike the typical narcissist, the grandiose self-aggrandizement of mania or hypomania is replaced by a more sober and negative sense of self when the narcissist’s moods are low. By contrast, narcissists tend to be self-righteous and exploitative—when upset, they can become vindictive and angry. There is no doubt that the lifelong instability of bipolar disorder can shape a defensive, easily offended, and exploitative personality; some people with bipolar disorder may end up with narcissistic traits. A politician may be the right person. Finally, there is another way to be narcissistic—people with great gifts, such as intelligence, beauty, physical fitness, wealth, talent, or charisma. For these people, narcissistic thinking is often reinforced by everyone around them. Environmentally induced narcissism is a risk for celebrities such as politicians and professional athletes.
The path to narcissism can often involve one or more of the above.
Fame and Narcissism:
Who holds rich or beautiful people accountable to normal standards—or professional athletes for that matter? Accountability is needed in relationships. If we allow people to act as if the world revolves around them, we do them no favors. No one is “more special” than another, and yet, with enough drive and talent, we allow some people to escape responsibility when they let us down.
Look at your own life. There may be someone who gets away with murder and is unaffected by criticism. Some of these people are drawn to politics.
Case to Consider:
The Chris Christie “bridge” scandal raises some issues related to narcissism. I don’t consider myself an expert on Mr. Christie or his psychology, but sticking with the story raises the possibility of narcissistic thinking that may not be to his advantage. Mr. Christie’s job at this point is to assess what happened and change the culture that fueled this behavior.
- I doubt that Chris Christie deliberately allowed his staff to punish a competitor by closing the George Washington Bridge. But I wouldn’t be surprised if Christie’s celebrity status reinforced the sense that he and his staff could do no wrong. That’s called greatness. Mr. Christie should ask himself whether he assumes that if he trusts someone, that person must be trustworthy. He doesn’t… A president should supervise his staff. I hope Mr. Christie has learned that lesson.
- There is no place for revenge in adult life. It’s a schoolyard thing. But in politics, it can be the norm. When an arrogant person feels wronged, he often becomes angry and wants revenge. He can’t help it. His need for validation is so strong that the experience of the opposite—rejection—is painful. And when he’s hurt, he strikes back.
- Humiliation hurts. When Mr. Christie was caught, he felt frustrated. And that’s a good thing. For a moment, the emperor was naked. He found himself exposed, because he was responsible for the actions of his employees, and he knew it. I like the way Mr. Christie suffered, not because I’m angry with him, but because it shows the potential for remorse. Maybe Mr. Christie can learn something useful. After all, he may not be a narcissist. But perhaps a position of power has fostered a narcissism that will not serve him or us in the future.
To be fair, selfishness is not an exclusively Republican problem. Bill Clinton thought he was above politics when he had an affair with an intern in the Oval Office (and that’s annoying). Nancy Pelosi reportedly told her colleagues not to waste time reading her health care bill because she was so eager to pass it (scary). Anthony Weiner felt above the grain when he exposed his genitals online (disappointing). On the Republican side, George W. Bush reportedly called himself “The Decider” (disappointing).
Now Democrats and the press will be salivating to have Christie removed from his position. Those who accuse him of bullying are probably as arrogant and self-righteous as anyone we saw in New Jersey. Politics is a disease that attracts this.
Will we see another leader stumble over a thousand little cuts?
Or will Mr. Christie learn something from this disaster—something that will change his life?
True Greatness:
In our culture, we associate greatness with fame, power, or wealth.
I think that’s immature on our part. Greatness can be private. Most great things are private. A man with cerebral palsy overcomes his disability. A mother who was abused as a child raised an amazing family. A schoolboy takes on a bully to protect a vulnerable friend. In our celebrity culture, we are told to look up to the rich and the privileged. It is a good lesson to remember that celebrities are not better than us—they are just more famous than us. Each of us has a sacred journey that matters.
