The current global pandemic is unprecedented in modern times. While the world has seen recent outbreaks of deadly diseases such as Ebola and SARS, the scale and reach of COVID-19 has been unexpected. As of this writing, the death toll has reached 55,781 worldwide; 6,574 of those deaths are in the United States and 2,935 in New York State alone .

The overwhelming desire to flatten the curve and slow the pandemic has led to strict social distancing measures. Local governments have temporarily closed non-essential businesses and mass transit lines; schools have switched to distance learning via Zoom meetings and email; travel restrictions are being strictly enforced; and even traditional large social events such as funerals and weddings are being encouraged to be simplified. Despite the inconvenience, sacrificing comfort and individual freedom is a key component of slowing and stopping the pandemic.

Unfortunately, “sacrifice” is not a word in the narcissist’s vocabulary. Selfishness, instant gratification, and a complete disregard for the well-being or health of others are typical traits of a narcissistic individual. For a selfish individual, “flattening the curve” is not a call for the greater good; it is a personal attack on freedom and choice… and no one tells a narcissist what is best for them or what they can do!

Early in the pandemic, it was reported that the only people at risk were the elderly or those with compromised immune systems. For narcissistic and selfish individuals, this meant that they could continue life as usual because they were young, healthy, and had a busy social schedule. As spring break began and travel continued, the virus began to gain speed and reports began to change. It turned out that despite previous information, anyone was susceptible to the virus either as a carrier or a victim. It was not known exactly how the virus spread, how quickly it spread, or how long it could remain on the surface.

Isolation became the norm and social distancing was enforced. Schools were closed, nonessential businesses were shuttered, and thousands of workers were laid off. Essential workers, especially medical workers, have suddenly found themselves on the front lines of an invisible battle overnight. Doctors, nurses, and first responders are willingly living and sleeping apart from their families to protect themselves from transmitting the virus. Yet some narcissistic individuals are still resisting orders and contributing to the continued rise of the curve.

Weddings, graduations, and funerals are indeed major events that are meant to be shared with family; but is it worth the risk of higher infection rates, more deaths, and longer isolation restrictions?

High school and college students across the country have been outraged as proms, graduations, and concerts are being canceled or postponed. It’s okay to be disappointed, but it’s not okay to think that these measures are being taken without good reason. Again, while the virus seems to favor the elderly and immunocompromised, healthy individuals can still carry the virus and infect others. Canceling proms and graduations is not overly cautious or cruel; it could save the lives of your loved ones. It is also important to remember that a person with a weakened immune system may appear to be healthy.

Family is still allowed to attend funerals and burials, but the party atmosphere and crowded crowds of well-wishers must be stopped. Funerals—just like graduations, weddings, or parties—can be perfect viral incubators and contribute to continued outbreaks. Nursing homes, hospitals, and birth centers are being closely monitored not to cause additional trauma but to flatten the curve and reduce potential mortality. In my opinion, it is selfish and self-centered to demand special treatment in times of widespread difficulty. Everyone is suffering, and everyone with a loved one is at risk.

Only a high-narcissist believes they are safe, immune, and deserve to continue life as usual. For example? Just one individual who refuses to self-quarantine or practice social distancing could be responsible for exposing dozens of people—and their families—to the potentially deadly virus.

The death toll in New York State has already surpassed the number killed in the 9/11 terrorist attacks. By the time this pandemic is over, every American will likely have been personally affected by the virus, either through death, infection, or associated factors like depression and anxiety. Estimates suggest that the country will see between 100,000 and 240,000 deaths by the time the virus subsides; this is a best-case scenario if the virus does not mutate and with current treatments, medical expertise, and social distancing requirements (Bacon & Ortiz, 2020). By comparison, the Spanish flu killed 675,000 Americans between the 1918 and 1920 outbreaks; in total, it killed an estimated 50 million people worldwide (Klein, 2020). According to Dr. Stephan E. Pampouchian, a cytologist, pathologist, and professor, cities that adopted lockdown measures during the Spanish flu pandemic had significantly lower death rates than cities that resisted lockdowns (Loyola University, 2020). In short, “the stricter the lockdown policies, the lower the death rate” (Loyola, 2020). It comes down to how well we all agree and work together to practice self-sacrifice to flatten the curve. For now, large social gatherings must be suspended and postponed. Life will go on again, and it is up to us—narcissists included—to work toward the future.

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