The Narcissist Wants You To Hate Them

Wait… what?

I know. It seems strange that someone who goes to great lengths to make you love them actually wants you to hate them.

Narcissists operate according to their own plan, and it’s not one I promise emotionally healthy people will fully understand.

The hatred you feel was part of their game, and I want to take a moment to explain why.

Just when you think it can’t get any worse…

confusing, right?

You’ve probably read countless times that all narcissists crave your love.

They want your attention, your validation.

They want to feed their ego with your misery and subservience.

They feel good knowing you give them everything, leaving yourself with nothing.

Have you ever wondered how narcissists sometimes want you to hate them, too?

Yes, it does seem confusing. It doesn’t make sense for such a toxic and controlling person to want to alienate you in any way, but trust me, it’s absolutely true.

Related !: Narcissists Hate People With These 8 Traits

There may come a point where it’s in the narcissist’s best interest for you to change your position and hate them…

…but why?

It’s Not About Love

There may come a point where narcissists realize you don’t have much love to offer them.

You’ve understood them, and you’ve realized what kind of person you’re dealing with. They know you can’t stand their abuse anymore, and it’s a race against time to see who wins.

Narcissists are always after the win—so be prepared for love (or whatever you thought it looked like) to disappear completely.

What replaces this love when a narcissist wants to get rid of you is:

Outright hatred

Abandonment

Not caring

Hateful comments

People turning on you

Spreading lies about you

Activating your triggers

Exposing and exposing your fears

Narcissists do this so you hate them in return. And they’ll be very good at hiding all this hatred because they don’t want anyone to suspect them.

Related : 17 Signs You Dealt With Narcissistic Abuse as a Kid

This is really dangerous.

But what happens next is even worse.

Get Aligned

You’re officially aligned.

And you may be wondering, why?

Well, the narcissist’s game doesn’t stop there.

Think about it, and I mean this, because if you dig deep, you can be one step ahead of them.

The game being orchestrated is the game you’re expected to participate in, yet you’re likely not even aware of it until it’s too late.

What Happens When You Hate?

When a narcissist wants to get rid of you, they’ll make your life hell.

You have two choices.

One: You can walk away, and they’ll cry and act like a victim because you left them. People will think you’re a tough old man.

Two: You can respond, and everything the narcissist tells you about you rings true. You’re quarrelsome. You’re impossible. You’re stubborn. You’re argumentative. You’re dramatic.

Do you see how none of these scenarios will work in your favor?

And yet, the narcissist is there, urging you to hate them and announce it to the world.

Then they’ll control you as they see fit, controlling your reactions.

What Narcissists Do With Your Hate

See? I told you. They can’t stand me. I don’t know what I’m doing; it’s a big mistake.

I’m trying my best, but I can’t seem to do it.

Related : Find Out How Narcissists Turn Every Phone Call Into a Power Play

These are the phrases narcissists throw at people. Family, friends, strangers if necessary. Your hatred is the gift they need to give others.

The people they ask for sympathy from, and the people they are desperate to convince the world that you are the problem.

If you make it crystal clear to the world that you hate the narcissist, the narcissist will appear to be a good person in return, reinforcing their victim mentality.

You’re giving them exactly what they want, aren’t you? So you hate, they deny, and you look crazy. #Breakup? Move on? Get Rid!

Usually, the feeling of hatred from the narcissist only arises when you decide to break up after spending a long time together.

This whole process can be a shock to the system, especially since much of the abuse was previously kept secret. Now, the narcissist will take your hatred for themselves and tell the world.

When this happens, you may realize you’ve been bound to the narcissist forever if you have children and/or grandchildren.

It can be difficult for these people. They don’t feel like they’re getting a break from all this misery, but rather they’ll unleash new tricks.

It’s not easy for a narcissist to realize they’re hated this much, but by making sure you hate them, they can do their best to exploit those raw emotions and, as a result, be the innocent party.

Stand Up

You know you’re right. You know you’re a good person. All of these things start to fall into disrepute when the narcissist is around you simply because they insist you feel the way you do.

The hatred you feel stems from:

Resentment at how they’ve treated you all this time

How they’ve spoken to you or your friends and family

The way they’ve tried to punish you for things you didn’t do wrong

Related : Watch Out: These Phone Habits Are Deadly Signs of a Narcissist

Their expectation of you to play by their rules

The violation of your boundaries throughout your time with them

The feeling you have of wasting precious time trying to reconcile with someone who is clearly unwilling or unable to compromise

In short, you’ll never be free of a narcissist until you accept all the chaos that comes with knowing them.

Standing firm is the only way to ensure you don’t let them win, and don’t allow yourself to be used as a tool to gain their sympathy.

Related : Why Your Ex Is Likely Not the Narcissist You Think They Are

Narcissists want to:

Be the victim

Get others’ attention

Appear as if they’ve been wronged in some way

Watch you suffer

Watch you experience real emotional pain

Narcissism shouldn’t be treated with caution. If the narcissist you know is making sure you hate them, it’s because they have a bigger plan to make you suffer…

…So be prepared!

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