Narcissists are a different breed, really. When happiness is normal, they want to ruin it.
And when sadness is normal, they experience a deep, disturbing pleasure.
They were born to ruin people’s lives, and they do it every day, everywhere in the world.
You know what? There’s one thing they hate most. And it’s related to your personal knowledge.
Get Ready!
Could They Hate More?!
Hard to believe, isn’t it? Narcissists are so spiteful, it’s sometimes hard to know where their hatred comes from.
It reminds me of magicians pulling a silk handkerchief from their sleeve and just keep coming, coming, coming.
Related : This Is What Happens When You Mirror a Narcissist’s Behavior Back At Them
When will this end?!
Believe me—in this case, it doesn’t really end. Instead, you discover more and more ways the narcissist reveals his spiteful side.
What You Know About Hating Narcissists
With a little digging, you’ll discover the truth:
Narcissists hate happiness.
But if you dig deeper, you’ll understand why:
Because narcissists actually hate themselves.
This goes beyond the usual level of self-anger, or some of us having a bad day where we wonder about ourselves or what we did wrong.
This happens all the time. This is big. This is irreversible.
This stems from their childhood, where they were either placed on a pedestal and forced to be perfect all the time, or where nothing was ever good enough, and they were forced to feel that love had to be earned.
Related : Victims Share The ONE Phrase That Left Narcissists Speechless
They’re haunted by resentment from both scenarios, and instead of healing, they bring themselves down.
And you’re the ultimate victim.
When You Know You’re Doing Something Right
I can confidently say: if a narcissist hates you, it means you’re doing something right.
I know this sounds very reactionary, but this is how you should think when it comes to any type of narcissistic behavior.
They love you all the time while you do whatever they want.
Rush to help them.
Love them unconditionally.
Take the blame.
Support them.
Defend them.
Stay loyal.
Remain silent.
Be an emotional punching bag.
You’re doing a good job.
The moment you stop all this, you’ll know that hatred will take over. When that happens, there’s no turning back.
Related : How One Text Message Can Completely Destroy A Narcissist’s Control Over You
In the end, only one thing will encourage you to back down, and we’re about to reach it.
Emotional Control
I see it as a good state. Emotional control means you’re in control, which is something you may not be used to.
But, once you reach this stage, you’ll notice a shift in the narcissist’s personality, and that hatred will begin to surface and become more apparent within you.
Knowing Them
Narcissists hate it when you know them.
I’m not talking about knowing their favorite food or their favorite football team.
This goes far beyond knowing their favorite band or the movies they can’t miss.
This goes much deeper.
Knowing who they are behind their pretentious, fake persona is why a narcissist hates you.
Think about it.
They’ve spent their entire lives painting a picture they want the world to see.
The perfect person. The confident, competent, and maybe even wealthy person.
And you come along, shattering everything by exposing them as a narcissist.
What can you say once you’ve caught up with them?
There will be absolute denial. You’re wrong, and that’s it.
You’ll definitely be to blame. It’s your fault, no matter what.
You want to stir things up.
You’ve taken away the narcissist’s very source—you.
Now they’re panicking and need to find more sources, and that’s what they hate you for even more.
Meet Scarlett
I’ve changed her name, but Scarlett was a client of mine several years ago.
She had to deal with an abusive husband for over a decade, until one day, everything came together.
She couldn’t understand how her life had changed so much over those years, but it was only when she no longer knew who she was that she dug deeper.
She married a narcissist.
Related : Say This ONE Line To Instantly Shut Down Narcissist Manipulation
Scarlett made the mistake of outright accusing her husband of being a narcissist, and it didn’t work.
Within days, Scarlett’s family distanced themselves from her, with her husband describing himself as a victim.
It was a classic move, and one many narcissists do.
Scarlett’s accusation only fueled his hatred of her, and everything that followed wasn’t good for her.
All because she understood him.
No Going Back!
Like Scarlett, there’s no way back to the original dynamics once you discover you’ve been with a narcissist.
By telling them this, you’re letting them know you can no longer be manipulated.
In effect, you’re useless to the narcissist, and you have no role in their life.You have to be prepared for this, because nothing will ever be the same again. I say this because many victims are still attached to their abuser, and it can take time for them to get back on their feet.
Related : 20 Things That Seriously Confuse a Narcissist
Don’t leave yourself more vulnerable than you were. It’s okay to recognize who the narcissist is while you’re developing a plan to get out of the situation you’re in, especially if it’s not safe to leave.
You have to always put yourself first.
Hate Them Can Fuel You
If you realize that you’re in the right place for healing, you’ll be able to use their hate as fuel.
Recognize that you have the advantage this time, and understand what it means for you in the future.
You can heal, and you can make your life richer again.
I always say: If a narcissist hates you, you’re doing something right. You’re living your life without anyone manipulating it.
You make your own decisions. Don’t let their threats bother you.
This is how I want all of you to live your lives eventually, and I know you can.
It’s true that reaching this stage takes time and effort, but knowing the narcissist’s true identity will free you from the cycle of abuse.
