Do narcissists love money? Of course! They love any resource that gives them control and power, and money can certainly provide those benefits.

While we all need money to survive, it can also be a dangerous weapon that can hurt others. So, when it comes to their bizarre relationship with money, most narcissists make their own rules and play their own games.

Some narcissists are objectively wealthy. But many struggle, and understanding the problems of narcissists and money can be crucial to your well-being. Let’s find out what you need to know.

Narcissists and Money: Why Money Matters to Them

Most people crave money. It provides an undeniable sense of security and freedom. Likewise, it can help us achieve status, control, and power. These are relatively normal human desires. We all want to feel like we can provide for ourselves and our loved ones.

But narcissists use their money to enhance the way others see them. Money becomes a tool and a means to build what they want out of thin air.

For example, if they want to maintain the image of the “perfect life,” all they have to do is swipe their credit card. Even if they are on the verge of bankruptcy, no one needs to know.

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In addition, most narcissists will never feel like they have enough money. Because narcissists don’t experience the intangible benefits of human connection, they often use money as a substitute for love. As a result, narcissists feel a bottomless void. The more they desire wealth, the more addicted they become to the game of getting and spending it.

Why do narcissists love money?

Make no mistake—they don’t necessarily love money just to love money. This claim is too simplistic.

Instead, narcissists love what money provides: security, power, self-esteem, freedom, and admiration from others. Money is simply the vehicle that takes them to their intended destination.

Narcissists often assume that money can help them buy love, happiness, and friendship. Even if they don’t necessarily value these benefits, they do value feeling appreciated and admired, and only other humans can meet these needs.

Are narcissists greedy?

Yes, most narcissists are relatively stingy and protective of their money. They don’t give away what they have voluntarily. However, this greed extends beyond self-preservation.

Because narcissists lack empathy for others, they don’t necessarily understand the benefits of sharing their resources. To them, the world may indeed feel like a cruel and unfair place, but it’s not their job to help anyone else.

Similarly, they feel intensely competitive. Narcissists constantly compare themselves to others, even if it seems like they’re only focusing on their own accomplishments. As a result, the idea of ​​“giving something up” can feel threatening. They don’t want to face any potential opportunity that someone else could take advantage of them.

Understanding Narcissists and Their Money Habits

A narcissist’s spending habits can seem confusing from an outside perspective. At times, your complex relationship with the narcissist and money issues can feel unfair and cruel.

First, their decisions may seem completely erratic. For example, they may buy a brand-new boat when they don’t live near a lake. Or they may spontaneously start a business despite having no knowledge of the industry.

Furthermore, some choices may seem dangerous, unsettling, and even offensive. They may control what you spend. They may steal or take from others without considering how it might affect someone else. They often break the law while completely justifying their choices.

Why Are Narcissists Obsessed with Money?

The dynamic between a narcissist and their money obsession isn’t always clear. Typically, they are obsessed with their image and reputation. Money gives the narcissist the power to be whoever they want to be.

Additionally, many narcissists enjoy proving themselves to others. If their family is struggling with money, they may feel an intense need to brag about their ability to change those circumstances.

If a colleague suddenly gets a great promotion, the narcissist may try to double down on their work to earn more. They may impulsively leave their current position to pursue a higher-paying job.

Why Are Narcissists Bad with Money?

What happens when a narcissist is financially irresponsible? Does this mean they don’t care about money? Does it mean they are reckless?

The answer is complicated. Some narcissists are notorious for their financial distress. These problems can occur for several reasons. First, narcissists often believe they are above the rules. In some cases, they may lie, steal, or embezzle money while justifying their completely unethical decisions. Additionally, many narcissists struggle with impulse control or delayed gratification. For example, instead of saving their money to buy something they really want, they may open up multiple credit cards or lines of debt.

In addition, narcissists can have a hard time understanding long-term consequences. They often react to their current feelings. If they want something, they want it now, regardless of what might happen later.

This is why they often find it easy to make large purchases or even file for bankruptcy. After all, if they don’t feel the need to play by society’s rules, why would they care about society’s consequences?

Are narcissists generous with money?

Not usually. Most narcissists want to hoard their resources because their “stuff” gives them a sense of purpose and meaning.

Some narcissists seem incredibly cheap. They re-gift. They always forget their wallet when it’s time to pay. They eat other people’s food without sharing their own. Because they don’t conform to social norms, they don’t care if their cheapness affects others. This disregard is one reason why most narcissists lack close friendships.

However, some narcissists may flaunt their money to show off to others. They may throw lavish charity events, donate large sums of money, or give their loved ones amazing gifts during the holidays. Keep in mind that generosity is not the motivation—instead, their primary goal is to impress others.

Is There a Difference Between Types of Narcissists?

Each narcissist spends, saves, and uses money differently. Their patterns fluctuate depending on their personality and motivations. Here are some key points.

The Covert Narcissist and Money

If you’re confused about covert narcissists and spending money, you’re not alone.

Covert narcissists (also known as vulnerable narcissists) often go unnoticed. Compared to their grandiose counterparts, these individuals typically appear somewhat quiet, cautious, and even shy.

But the covert narcissist desperately craves admiration. But instead of using external measures, they may devote hours to cultivating an ideal online presence. Or they may try to manipulate their way into getting what they want by using passive aggression or the silent treatment instead of outright hostility.

A covert narcissist tends to be calculating when it comes to money. For example, they may not tip a waiter when dining alone. But if they’re out eating with a group of people, they may tip a large amount to create a sense of generosity. Or they may leave price tags on items and then pretend it was a mistake if someone notices.

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Covert narcissists may deceive their partners or loved ones about money. For example, they may insist that everyone needs to follow a budget. But if someone confronts them about a recent purchase, they may deny ever talking about the budget. Or they will defend why they need the item and how it aligns perfectly with their financial goals.

CerebralNarcissistMoney

Cerebral narcissists value appearing wise and intellectually superior to everyone else. They love being the center of attention, but they tend to pretend their skills and preferences are not important.

Cerebral narcissists may pretend that money does not matter to them. They may seem to dislike wealthy people or high-paying professions. This is often due to their jealousy. But instead of recognizing this feeling, they tend to just put others down.

Cerebral narcissists can also be very critical of how others spend their money. For example, they might criticize someone for buying a nice house or a fancy car. This is because they may see these purchases as frivolous or silly.

Therefore, many cerebral narcissists are frugal by nature. But they are not frugal just because they want to save money. They are frugal because they believe that certain expenses are beneath their standards—and as a result, they believe that these purchases should be beneath your standards, too!

FemaleNarcissism and Money

Female narcissists often value wealth and financial power just as much as their male counterparts. However, money is often a means to fulfill their fantasies of love, adoration, and sexual power.

Female narcissists may be excessively materialistic, obsessed with their appearance, and compelled to maintain their youthfulness. As a result, they may undergo multiple plastic surgeries and spend extra time shopping, grooming, and self-care. This woman may own thousands of clothes—many of which still have the original tags.

Where male narcissists tend to hoard money, female narcissists are more likely to spend it. They want the perfect body, the perfect home, and the perfect family life. To achieve this perfection, they often spend without considering the consequences. For example, they may use money intended for their children’s college fund. Or they may max out credit cards without their spouse’s knowledge.

Unlike someone who lacks financial education, these choices aren’t made out of ignorance. They usually know exactly what they’re doing, but they’ve already justified it as “what they should do.”

How to Protect Yourself from a Narcissist Financially

The dynamic between a narcissist and borrowing money can quickly become complicated for loved ones. On the one hand, you may want to give them the benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, it’s frustrating to feel manipulated or taken advantage of.

Financial abuse can be obvious, but it can also be subtle and difficult to understand. The crimes typically develop over time. The narcissist may start by making indirect comments about your purchases. They may “give you allowance” or put you on a budget.

As the relationship develops, the financial abuse can escalate. Eventually, the narcissist begins to control all of the money. They may spend it recklessly, but get upset if you want to buy something. They may also restrict access to certain accounts, use the money without your permission, or limit your ability to earn income.
What if a Narcissist Owes You Money?

Unfortunately, most narcissists will not repay you on their own. They often believe they are fully entitled to other people’s resources, especially when they are in a relationship with someone.

Before pursuing money owed to you, it is a good idea to:

Record all instances of money owed to the narcissist in a password-protected document.

Change all passwords for your personal financial accounts.

Disconnect your financial accounts as soon as possible.

Contact any creditors about suspicious accounts created in your name.

Reach out to friends and family for financial assistance if necessary.

How to Get Money Back from a Narcissist?

Depending on the amount the narcissist owes you, you may need to consult with an attorney. As mentioned, narcissists will not easily give up what they believe is theirs.

As a result, it is essential to protect your safety. If confronted, the narcissist may react dangerously to your accusations. They may try to deny or minimize what they owe you. Some may threaten to pursue legal action on their own.

That’s why you should consider talking to a professional. They can take steps to ensure your safety and well-being during this difficult time.

Healing from Narcissistic Financial Abuse

The effects of narcissistic financial abuse can be devastating. Unfortunately, many people don’t realize these consequences until they leave the relationship. At that point, they may find themselves in a complicated mess of debt, bankruptcy, stolen funds, or fraud.

Remember that boundaries are essential. You are under no obligation to give the narcissist any of your money. You are also under no obligation to enable or even tolerate their abuse.

In many cases, a no-contact approach is the most effective way to achieve lasting healing. If you no longer want to play into their games, you need to end the game—once and for all.