I’ve received many requests to write about the Law of Attraction. While it may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think of self-help or relationship and breakup advice, I decided to write about it.
Why?
It directly relates to the one thing I’ve dedicated my life to helping others achieve: a strong relationship with themselves, first and foremost.
I wanted to share what I’ve learned personally (which dispels a lot of the confusing/conflicting information out there) and simplify this concept that I’ve been doing wrong for years without knowing it.
It worked for me, plain and simple. And when things work, I like to share them. Of course, this is just my opinion. I’m not a professional of any kind. I have a college degree, but when it comes to everything I write and talk about, my education is experiential, not academic.
I’m in no way trying to say that my interpretation of this law is the “end all.” There are many other sources that I’m sure explain this concept much better than I could. This is how I understand it and what has worked for me.
What is the Law of Attraction?
According to Wikipedia, the Law of Attraction is “the belief that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into a person’s life.” Whatever you focus on is what you will attract; “like attracts like.”
The vibration of your most dominant/habitual beliefs and thoughts (whether conscious or unconscious) will attract circumstances, situations, events, relationships, and people into your life that match the vibration (positive or negative) of those thoughts and beliefs.
Your relationships, your health, your wealth, and every aspect of your life are affected by this universal law.
Unfortunately, the Law of Attraction has become so popular that it is no longer just a way to sell snake oil, but has become extremely contradictory and complex in its propagation.
Many people used to think that all they had to do was think what they wanted, and “Shazam!” they would attract it.
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This is far from reality and what the Law of Attraction is really about. It is also unfair (and potentially dangerous) for those who are terminally ill (or have a family member who is ill), financially challenged, etc., and have false expectations that this law will “take care of everything.” It will not.
No matter how much I think about my mother being cancer-free, these thoughts will not cure her cancer. But there is a force of attraction that I have personally experienced (even about my mother’s health) and it has certainly brought about an emotional freedom and life that I never thought was possible for me.
I have learned that this law, no matter how many times I have told myself it doesn’t work, is a law that never fails. If you are observant enough, you will realize that like the law of gravity, it always works.
The Law of Attraction Explained
How to Use the Law of Attraction: First, identify your vibrational frequency.
I believe that we create our reality. This is a very powerful belief but for years, this belief has drained my power. I have been trying to control my reality without first acknowledging my vibration and then adjusting it where I need to.
Stay with me here…
Everything is pure energy (your thoughts, yourself, other people, external circumstances – good and bad). This energy vibrates at different frequencies. And since like attracts like, vibrations of similar frequencies attract each other like magnets.
You may want someone or something more than you want anything else. You may be the most deserving person to get exactly what you want. But you only attract what your vibration aligns with.
Your vibrational frequency is based solely on your habitual thoughts and belief system. This means that if you have a positive attitude, you will attract positive experiences, circumstances, situations, events, people, and relationships. If you have a negative attitude, you will attract into your life experiences, events, situations, people, and relationships that you may identify as “energy draining” at best; and as unhealthy and toxic at worst.
You have the power to consciously create your reality. This is done by adjusting your vibrational frequency and thereby directly influencing what you attract.
I could write about this for days, but I want to keep it as short, easy, and accessible as possible.
Here are the steps I took to create my reality:
Change your frequency by getting rid of the victim mentality and finger-pointing. The Law of Attraction is not about being a victim. It’s not about blaming anything or anyone (including yourself) for what you’re going through right now. This will only attract more experiences, situations, and relationships that fill your self-limiting, self-fulfilling prophecy. The Law of Attraction is about fully owning your current circumstances to the point of empowerment. It’s about realizing that everything you feel and experience right now is a direct result of two things: 1) the decisions you’ve chosen to make and 2) your tolerance (what you’ve chosen to endure in life). When you begin to take responsibility for the outcomes in your life by acknowledging the power of attraction of your thoughts, you’ll no longer point the finger at something you’re the creator of—the quality of your dominant thoughts. The Universe will reward this level of accountability, responsibility, and awareness generously. Few people can operate at this level.
Don’t approach this as a debt. The Universe is neutral. It doesn’t owe you anything and you don’t owe it anything. You can either meet it halfway by taking responsibility for your thoughts or you can choose to spit in its face and declare war. The choice is always yours.
You don’t need to learn. You don’t need to “learn” the Law of Attraction. It’s already working for you whether you accept it and are aware of it or not. For years, I’ve been busy trying to “understand” this law, which is completely unnecessary. What you need to understand is that to attract the relationships, circumstances, situations, events, and experiences you want, you have to accept reality. The truth is that your outer world will always be a direct reflection of your inner world. It’s the quality of your inner vibration that attracts the quality you desire externally. To attract what you want, you have to believe that you deserve it. There is no “activation” to this law. It is active and working at all times – regardless of what you do or don’t do. To attract what I want in life, I had to become fully aware of the vibrational frequencies and quality/nature of my thoughts. Next, I noticed how my actions were executing my thoughts. Then, the hardest part… I had to put my trust in the universe. I had to trust this law. This may be scary but what do you have to lose? I know that the other shoe has always dropped whenever you bet on happiness but you have to accept that you don’t have all the answers. You will never be perfect and you don’t know what’s best for you. Which brings me to…
You will never get the outcome you want by being specific. Let’s say you want a black Bentley. Don’t start thinking, “Black Bentley, black Bentley, black Bentley!” If you do, you will probably see more black Bentleys on the street but you will never attract one to your garage. Never assume that you are smarter than the universe. By being specific about the make, model, color, and even your desire to buy a car, you are translating to the universe that you know what is best for you; and that you know what you need more than the universe could know. You will then attract more feelings and experiences that confirm that you do not know what is truly best for you. Surrender and trust the universe here. Instead of thinking “black Bentley,” think about how you will feel when you own that car. Focus on a feeling and let that feeling come to you. The universe may have something much better for you than a black Bentley. But you will never know that unless you surrender to a higher power and trust that the universe knows what is best for you. Always focus on feeling safe. I don’t think about all the little things I want that are supposed to “make me feel safe.” I think about how safe I want to feel—in my appearance, as a woman, as a daughter, a friend, a godmother, etc. I want to feel safe in my job, my health, my wealth, the health of my loved ones. I focus on feeling safe. I don’t focus on specific things, hoping they will fall into my lap. I think this is why after so many painful breakups, no amount of obsessing and brooding over my exes has ever “brought them back.” I just kept attracting more experiences that confirmed how I felt: insecure and alone. Realizing my worth, building my own life, and surrendering to what was (which made me feel empowered and safe) has always brought them back to me. But what if you can’t activate the feeling of safety?….
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Start small. To tune your vibration and attract the life and relationships you want, you have to believe that what you want is possible. The feeling you want to feel can’t be anxiety-inducing. If you do, you will end up attracting more stressful relationships, situations, and experiences. I may not feel safe, but I can close my eyes and imagine feeling safe with a deep sense of certainty. For example, it may not be Christmas Eve today, but I can imagine seeing a tree with presents under it in a few months because I know it’s coming. I can imagine my birthday coming because I know it’s coming. You have to imagine the feeling you want to feel with a sense of certainty—no matter what happens, you know it’s coming—just like Christmas (if it doesn’t happen, replace it with whatever you celebrate) or your birthday. Get excited because it’s coming, no matter what happens, because it’s coming. Visualize how safe you feel, and watch what happens in your life.
The Law of Attraction is nothing more than making a decision to improve your mental health and being aware that your actions are in line with your level of mental fitness. It’s also about surrendering and trusting that you’re not alone in this world.
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