Can the relationship between the HSP and the narcissist be stable or is it a negative nymphomaniac? Below is more information on how an individual should avoid narcissists for their well-being.

Two of the hottest psychological topics on the internet right now deal with two personality types that are virtually at opposite ends of the behavioral spectrum: narcissists/psychopaths (or more specifically, NPDs), and HSPs (highly sensitive people). I think there is some significance to this.

HSP and the narcissistic relationship

For reasons no one seems to understand, HSPs seem to be thrown in with narcissists more than you would expect by chance alone.

Neither personality type is particularly common: people with malignant narcissism (NPD) make up about 4% of the population in the United States; Highly sensitive people make up about 20% which makes it somewhat more common – although it may seem less common than it is because they often hide in the shadows and rarely call attention to themselves.

Many highly sensitive people have learned to bottle up their sensitivities and their emotions because (besides feeling shame because of it), high sensitivity just doesn’t work well in the narcissistic and materialistic society we currently live in–a society where such qualities as aggression, sociability, outspokenness, impatience, And indifference to the suffering of others is much more valuable than such qualities as civility, respect, intuition, shyness, and empathy.

Aggression and assembly are especially valued in the world of business and politics. Face it, you won’t find a great job (or any job at all) if you call attention to the second set of adjectives and are probably considered weak and ineffective.

Politicians who seem very sympathetic, tolerant, kind, or soft-spoken rarely win elections. This is why liberals keep losing elections. It is my observation that those with more liberal ideologies are usually better educated, but by nature more sympathetic and more concerned with the plight of the less fortunate. Let’s face it: narcissism wins elections, which is why the country is in such a massive mess.

But this is not about politics, and I don’t care what your ideology is. I do not wish to stereotype political ideologies based on personality because there are conservatives who are sensitive and liberals who are not. I’m referring more to the people who hold powerful political positions, not the people who vote for them.

Highly sensitive people have several characteristics that make them vulnerable, especially to people with NPD, and these people often find themselves either raised by psychopaths, married or in serious relationships or friendships with them.

Related: How Narcissists Make You Physically Sick and 5 Ways To Restore Your Health

25 A sign that you are a very sensitive person

1. I was bullied at school; Bullying may be a pattern throughout your entire schooling. Maybe even as an adult, people like to “mess with you” to see if they can get you up.
2. You had imaginary friends or spent a lot of time in “imaginary worlds” of your own making, or your teachers often accused you of daydreaming.
3. As a child and perhaps later in life you cry easily and often. You may be a “difficult” or sick child or toddler. Highly sensitive people seem to be more likely to develop serious allergies and childhood illnesses than others.
4. You are never “popular” but prefer to have deep friendships with one or two like-minded people who may also be highly sensitive.
5. You dislike crowds and may not like parties or other large social gatherings.
6. You are a deep thinker and enjoy reading and studying whatever interests you.
7. You may prefer spending time alone with social activities.
8. Family is important to you, as much as you have a working relationship with your family.
9. It’s so easy to get hurt and sometimes you just can’t let a cruel joke or comment get behind your back the way other people can.
10. You hate negative or chaotic environments because you feel that you can pick up on the negative emotions of others around you.
11. Your family may not understand you, thinking you are a black sheep or a loser. They may reject or bully you if there are narcissists in your family who have chosen you as a scapegoat for the family.
12. You get overwhelmed easily when you have to deal with other people, especially negative people.
13. You may feel that you deal with animals better than people and that they understand you better than most people.
14. If Narcs bully or scapegoat, you may approach life with a caution that may border on paranoia.

15. Because of your giving and sympathetic nature, you find yourself drawn to those who abuse or take advantage of you.
16. You put the needs of others before your own and may destroy your happiness or success in the process.
17. You feel very upset when you hear or read news stories about children, animals, or adults who have been abused or killed.
18. You may have decided to stop reading or listening to the news because too much of it is negative and bothers you.
19. You may have reached the point where you feel no one can be trusted (but it is in your nature to continue to trust others and give them the benefit of the doubt).
20. You are prone to severe depression and feelings of hopelessness (sometimes this manifests itself as irritability and nagging), and sometimes these depressions cannot be explained by any personal situation; You also can feel a surge of pure joy when you feel balance with the world around you or with those who truly care about you and love you unconditionally.
21. You may be drawn to the performing or visual arts, poetry, or creative writing. You may have talent in these endeavors. You may also have a strong interest in spiritual and metaphysical matters.
22. You may have intuition so strong that it limits psychic ability – you may be able to “read” the feelings of people you have never met, or even deduce what kind of situation they are facing in their lives.
23. You may feel that you can detect a supernatural presence.
24. You may feel strongly that you do not fit in the world very well and have survival instincts.
25. Most importantly, when dealing with a narcissist, you may have the ability to focus on their true nature and see how terrifying they are, both to the narcissist and to others.

I want to digress more on number 25 because it’s at the heart of why narcissists (the world’s natural bullies) are attracted to HSPs (the natural empaths) and why they often end up in the unholy dance of psychological death together.

It’s a love/hate dichotomy.

Narcissists have a love/hate relationship with an HSP.

What the narcissist sees in an HSP is someone they want to trust, be easily manipulated (because they always like to give the benefit of the doubt), take advantage easily, and show hurt when wronged. They see someone who has insight into why other people do and are self-aware and introspective.

More than others, they can easily be forced to blame themselves if things go wrong because they can easily be ashamed or embarrassed. They are less likely to attack the narcissist (at least in the beginning) and crave love and acceptance.

What the HSP sees in a narcissist is a person who appears powerful and in control of things; At first, this may make the HSP feel safe and validated when the narcissist likes to blow them off to get them into a relationship.

Since narcissists are usually very aggressive when trying to bind their HSP to commitment, they make all kinds of promises to their HSP that seem fantastic at the time. Soon, HSP falls in love with Narc, and the match from hell is conceived.

The dynamics are different in a family with a highly sensitive child by a narcissistic parent because there is no love-bombing phase (except when the child is an adult and threatens to leave or not contact Narek’s parents).

Soon after the birth of a diabetic child, Narc’s father quickly realizes that this child is vulnerable and can be used as a narcissistic resource to enhance himself at that child’s expense. More often than not, Narek’s father forces other family members (often HSP siblings) to act as “flying monkeys” in this child’s bullying.

Unfortunately, these children are so sensitive that they are often bullied at school as well, and the child may feel that there is no safe place of their own. As a result, they may turn inward, creating friends or imaginary worlds in which they can escape. My mother hated it when she stuck my head into my fantasy worlds and punished me for my “scary” behavior. I couldn’t help it though: It was the only “place” she couldn’t get to.

Related: 7 Ways To Cope With People Who Want To Bring You Down

Narcissists live in fear of exposure.

Narcissus sharpens high sensitivity, is attracted to it, and despises it. The HSP’s vulnerability and Narc’s ability to temporarily bully them makes them feel better about themselves (the only way they can feel good about themselves is by putting others down because they know they don’t have a “true self” – more on this later), but they hate it Also, they envy her, because they know they don’t have that high quality of sensitivity and empathy, and worse, they know that it is possible that someday highly sensitive people will use that quality to shame a narcissist.

Narcissists don’t feel anxious the way most people do, but the prospect of one day being “outed” by the monsters they are actually behind their mask of normalcy and sanity is terrifying to them.