Narcissists, or people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, are known for their ability to harm others in relationships.

It’s hard to go on social media without encountering at least one story of a relationship with a narcissist gone wrong.

If you encounter a narcissist, you need to know their secret goals. The narcissist will deny their hidden intentions from top to bottom, but you need to know what they’re after.

Knowing what a narcissist is hiding can save you from a world of hurt. We’ll delve into their most common hidden goals below.

1 Finding Narcissistic Supply

Obtaining narcissistic supply, which refers to people who are willing to meet the narcissist’s needs and boost their ego, is perhaps the narcissist’s primary hidden goal. Narcissists rely on this supply to maintain their feelings of superiority.

Related : 9 Ways To Stop Attracting Narcissists

Without supply, narcissists’ self-esteem plummets. So, they’re constantly on the lookout for people who will give them an endless stream of attention and praise.

Even when they are in a committed relationship, narcissists will continue to look for additional sources of supply.

It takes a village to feed their fragile ego, and they don’t hesitate to walk away from the relationship to get what they need.

2 Avoid any sense of accountability

Narcissists will certainly not be at fault when there is a disagreement or mistake. Their primary goal during any conflict, even if they caused it, is to avoid taking responsibility.

If they have done something legitimately hurtful, you can bet your bottom dollar that they will not admit it. They will do their best to play the victim and deflect blame.

If you file a complaint against them, you can expect them to blame you. Consider this example: You caught them cheating on you, and you have clear evidence.

A narcissist will never take responsibility, and they certainly won’t apologize or show remorse.

Instead, they will point out all of your flaws, no matter how small, and use that as an excuse to justify their behavior. They may even trick you into thinking you are crazy and fantasizing about the act of cheating.

3 Gaining the Upper Hand

In any situation, one of the narcissists’ hidden goals is to gain the upper hand over others. They must have a sense of dominance, power, and control to convince themselves that they are superior.

Narcissists will do almost anything to achieve this goal. They may lie, cheat, or manipulate to maintain power over others.

At the other end of the spectrum, they may use their charm to win others over, only to gain trust that they do not deserve.

No matter what precise tactic they use, the narcissist’s main goal is to stay at the top of the pyramid. When they can control everyone around them, they will not have to give in to feelings of inferiority.

Anyone who questions the narcissist’s authority, brilliance, or superiority will likely be met with anger.

A narcissist cannot stand feeling inferior, so anyone who makes them feel inferior should be treated accordingly. They may even go so far as to use physical violence to assert their dominance.

4 Maintaining Their Masks

At the root of narcissism is a facade of superiority, confidence, and self-assurance. To the outside world, the narcissist must appear to have it all.

In reality, narcissists wear masks. Behind their arrogant exterior is intense shame and self-loathing.

Narcissists have fragile egos, and they are insecure about themselves. To counteract these feelings of inadequacy, narcissists must act as if they are superior to others.

Related : Secret Tricks Narcissists Use to Pretend They Love You

To maintain this mask of superiority, narcissists will be extremely careful about how they present themselves. They will exaggerate their strengths and accomplishments while undermining or hiding their failures.

Projection is another way narcissists maintain their masks. Instead of accepting their flaws or insecurities, they project them onto others.

For example, a narcissist who is concerned about their appearance may constantly criticize the appearance of others, calling them names such as ugly or fat. Attributing negative traits to others allows the narcissist to avoid accepting their own flaws.

The bottom line is that the narcissist needs to feel perfect, and they need you to believe that they are confident. You can’t know how flawed they feel inside.

5 Taking Advantage of Others

Narcissists evaluate everyone based on what they can do for the narcissist, and their goal is to connect with people who have something valuable to offer them.

In almost any relationship, the narcissist will be more than willing to take advantage of the other person if it benefits them.

This may look like paying someone an exaggerated compliment to win their affection, then asking them for a big favor once they fall in love. Or they may ask to borrow money, promising to pay it back, but never following through.

The narcissist is more than willing to take advantage of others if it benefits them. Because they have a complete lack of empathy, they will not feel bad about this behavior.

If a narcissist chooses to get into a relationship with you, it’s probably because he sees something valuable in you.

The chances are slim that he’s actually interested in you. Instead, he’s focused on what he can gain from you.

6 Get emotional satisfaction without cost

If you’re with a narcissist, he’ll expect you to meet all of his emotional needs. This means you’ll need to be available to him at all times, ready to serve him.

A narcissist expects complete devotion and admiration, but he doesn’t want to give you anything in return.

Related : Healing from PTSD After Narcissistic Abuse ( Survivors Guide)

A narcissist believes he’s special and worthy of admiration, so he feels he’s worthy of your devotion.

However, he won’t have enough time to meet your emotional needs. He lacks empathy and therefore can’t recognize your needs. He can’t see beyond his excessive demands.

A narcissist relies on your affirmation and attention to maintain his ego, but he can’t meet your needs.

He doesn’t have time for other people’s feelings, and he may see you as weak for having any emotional needs at all.

How to Deal With It?

Once you recognize the narcissist’s hidden goals, you can avoid falling victim to them. Perhaps the best thing you can do if you encounter a narcissist is to not engage with them.

When that’s not possible, you can still protect yourself. Set strong boundaries, including refusing to talk to the narcissist if they treat you disrespectfully.

If the narcissist tries to take advantage of you, don’t feel bad about telling them no. You have the right to stand up for yourself, even if it makes you angry.

Chances are, if you set boundaries with the narcissist, they’ll likely leave you alone and move on to a weaker target.

If they continue to be in your life, make sure to prioritize self-care. Make time to enjoy your hobbies and take care of yourself by eating a healthy diet and exercising regularly.

Ultimately, knowing the secrets of narcissists prepares you to confront them. In the end, you’ll be the one in charge.