The narcissistic false self is charming and confident, masking feelings of insecurity and emptiness. Let’s discover other secrets they hide!
Narcissists have a false self. They are masters of deception. They act like a little king or queen—boasting or pouting. Their entire persona is a charade designed to deceive you into believing they are confident, superior, self-sufficient, lovable, and caring.
In studies, groups of people met narcissists and were impressed. However, after six more interviews, they realized the narcissist’s true nature and changed their minds.
Their persona is designed to impress and compensate for their hidden shame, which is exposed when their ego doesn’t match reality. Most of the time, they alter their perception of reality to protect their false self.
What is the Narcissistic False Self?
An aura of self-confidence and superiority inflates narcissists’ opinions of themselves, protecting them from unconscious feelings of inadequacy.
They also transform their shame by projecting inferiority onto others. They distort, justify, and distort facts, deluding themselves to avoid anything that might present a chink in their armor.
They create exaggerated fantasies of perfection and grandeur, where they are the most attractive, talented, powerful, intelligent, powerful, and wealthy. All this is to convince themselves and others that they are superior, not inferior.
They are not entirely independent; they are highly dependent on what others think of them, or at least what others think of them. If you like or admire them, it inflates their ego and makes them feel powerful.
They manipulate and try to control what others think to feel better about themselves, making narcissists co-dependent on the esteem of others. They are hypervigilant and highly sensitive to threats to their image, and they pay careful attention to signs that might affect their image in the eyes of others.
To this end, they have refined their charm and carefully managed their impressions. They constantly scan their environment to ensure they receive the maximum amount of attention and power.
They appear friendly and likable, but this tactic is intended to win your admiration and does not mean they care about you. Beware of dating a narcissist. Some of them play games and may enjoy bombarding you.
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They may feign empathy and concern, but you can detect this in the way they treat and talk about others. In fact, research shows that all types of narcissists share a core trait: unfriendliness.
Their needs come first, and they stir up controversy to gain more power. When their charm fails, they resort to dominance. Because they feel insecure and fearful, possessing power is their primary concern. If someone doesn’t like you, they’ll just envy or fear you.
This strategy requires sustained effort. Therefore, they prefer hierarchical relationships, workplaces, and groups, such as the military, politics, and corporate environments. They avoid egalitarian, intimate, or unfamiliar environments, where they feel insecure, become socially awkward, and often misfit.
When they want to impress, they can feign interest, but when this doesn’t align with their personal goals, their selfish nature is revealed. They view the needs or misfortunes of others as burdens or inconveniences.
Relationships are like business transactions. Their goal is “What’s in it for me?” Although they may give the impression that they don’t need anyone or care about their relationships, they are actually desperate for “narcissistic supply.”
They constantly demand attention, praise, and accommodations to ensure their comfort. When denied, they feel hurt, often exploding with anger and narcissistic abuse. In intimate relationships, as the abuse escalates, partners and coworkers become passive and submissive to avoid being attacked and to preserve the relationship. By adopting a submissive role, you establish an unhealthy dynamic in relationships with a narcissist.
