So, you’ve decided to open your heart and fall for someone who makes your head spin and your heart explode.
You were immersed in a relationship that initially made you feel good… but now you feel overwhelmed and wonder if you made a huge mistake.
You discover that this person, who at first made you feel like you were in a fairy tale, appears to be a narcissist hiding behind those charming spells.
If you have experienced or are currently dating a narcissist, you need to understand the emotional toll that can take on you.
In this article, we’ll explore what dating a narcissist is and what you need to know to deal with the emotional challenges that come with it.
Understanding Narcissism: What Are the Red Flags?
Before we get into the emotional toll of dating a narcissist, it’s important to first understand what narcissism is.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a condition in which a person has an inflated sense of self-importance and a deep need for admiration.
When you first meet one, you may feel left out. Narcissists can be charming and charismatic and will do everything to make you fall in love with them – pay you tons of compliments, be extremely affectionate, and shower you with gifts.
This is called love bombing. And boy, that level of seduction can be really hard to resist, especially if you’ve never been treated this way before!
But – and this is a big BUT – they are also manipulative and take advantage of others to achieve their goals.
This ugly truth will come out over time. Here are the signs you’re dating:
Lack of empathy
An unrealistic sense of entitlement
The tendency to exploit and benefit from others
The need to be the center of attention
Arrogant behaviors and attitudes
A belief that they are exceptionally special
There are many more signs, but the ones above are the most reliable indicators of narcissism.
So, you’ve decided to open your heart and fall for someone who makes your head spin and your heart explode.
You were immersed in a relationship that initially made you feel good… but now you feel overwhelmed and wonder if you made a huge mistake.
You discover that this person, who at first made you feel like you were in a fairy tale, appears to be a narcissist hiding behind those charming spells.
If you have experienced or are currently dating a narcissist, you need to understand the emotional toll that can take on you.
In this article, we’ll explore what dating a narcissist is and what you need to know to deal with the emotional challenges that come with it.
Understanding Narcissism: What Are the Red Flags?
Before we get into the emotional toll of dating a narcissist, it’s important to first understand what narcissism is.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a condition in which a person has an inflated sense of self-importance and a deep need for admiration.
When you first meet one, you may feel left out. Narcissists can be charming and charismatic and will do everything to make you fall in love with them – pay you tons of compliments, be extremely affectionate, and shower you with gifts.
This is called love bombing. And boy, that level of seduction can be really hard to resist, especially if you’ve never been treated this way before!
But – and this is a big BUT – they are also manipulative and take advantage of others to achieve their goals.
This ugly truth will come out over time. Here are the signs you’re dating:
Lack of empathy
An unrealistic sense of entitlement
The tendency to exploit and benefit from others
The need to be the center of attention
Arrogant behaviors and attitudes
A belief that they are exceptionally special
Another problem with narcissists is that they are unstable and unpredictable. The slightest thing can stop them and send them into fits of rage.
So, what does any normal person do to deal with that?
Well, it’s pretty simple – most of us want to avoid confrontations and arguments, right?
So, unconsciously, you begin to move around them, avoiding any impression that you are criticizing them or disagreeing with them. Your once sure steps become very careful, as if you were walking on eggshells.
Not only that, but the more they get angry…
4) You can even blame yourself for everything
“Your fault I’m angry, you always do [insert behavior]!”
“If you had just listened to me, we wouldn’t be in such a mess.”
And always reliable: “Look what you made me do!”
Do these phrases sound familiar? This is a classic narcissistic trait – the need to blame others for their problems and shortcomings.
Remember, they see themselves as perfect and superior, so to them, it just makes sense to have someone else responsible for whatever goes wrong.
And the worst part of it? You believe them. They’ve been manipulating you for so long that you’re beginning to agree with everything they say.
5) Set aside your needs and put theirs first
As I mentioned earlier, narcissists have an unrealistic sense of entitlement. They want you to give them special treatment and will make you feel selfish if you put your needs above theirs.
Add to that the fear of upsetting them, and learning to give in to their needs, all to avoid aggression.
This is the problem with toxic love — you can’t win.
You could be stuck for years in this type of relationship if you don’t know how to break free.
I see – I’ve been there. I’ve had my share of toxic relationships.
Luckily, I came across a mind-blowing free video by world-famous shaman Rudá Iandê, who showed me how perfectly conditioned I was to accept toxic love.
I learned how to stop self-sabotaging and deluding myself into thinking this awful relationship could satisfy me.
6) You feel used
Here’s another sad fact about narcissists – they don’t see you as a person. In their eyes, you are just a being whose sole purpose is to serve them.
As hard as it is to admit, they will use you to get what they want, and before you know it, you will feel used and disrespected.
Speaking of respect…
7) You feel that your boundaries are not being respected
This ties in with my previous point – narcissists don’t care about other people’s boundaries; They will do what they need to do to get what they want!
They’ll make you do things you don’t want to do, and because you’re already at a point where you feel insecure and worthless, you’ll move on, not caring if it’s beyond what you’re willing to give.
All of these things make you feel mentally or physically unwell. Toxic levels of criticism, bullying, and disrespect can lead to serious problems such as eating disorders and stress or trauma disorders.
Dealing with emotional losses
So, now that you know how damaging a narcissist can be to your emotional health, how do you deal? Here are some ways to get started:
Practice self-care
All healthy love starts with loving yourself. The more you take care of your own needs, the less vulnerable you will be to the insecurities and erosion of self-esteem caused by narcissistic dating.
Here are some food items to consider: In general, people with low self-esteem or those who tend to be attracted to toxic relationships may be more likely to date a narcissist.
Therefore, if you are in an emotionally vulnerable state or are in a toxic or abusive relationship, you may find it difficult to resist the narcissist’s charms.
This is why it is essential to get rid of self-care. Self-care activities such as meditation, exercise or hobbies can help you cope with the stress and anxiety associated with this type of relationship.
Finally, focus on your personal growth and self-discovery to help you regain control and rebuild your self-esteem.
Set boundaries
Along with self-care comes the need to define your boundaries and be firm about them. If you don’t want to do something they want you to do, be confident enough to say no.
And think about this – if you can’t stand up for yourself, who will?
