The Difference between Borderline and Narcissistic Personalities

Borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder are two conditions that can be difficult to distinguish because they share some similar symptoms.

Both personality disorders are listed as Cluster B in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) and both involve erratic, dramatic, and emotional behavior.

However, they are two different disorders with separate diagnostic criteria.

Borderline personality disorder is a mental condition in which people engage in reckless and impulsive behavior and display unstable moods and relationships.

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental condition in which people display unstable and intense emotions.

They display an exaggerated sense of self-importance and superiority over others. To further complicate the issue, the incidence of borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder is 25% to 37%, depending on the source cited.

BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

Individuals with borderline personality disorder typically experience brief psychotic mood swings that can shift in minutes or hours.

People with borderline personality disorder often have other co-occurring disorders including depression, anxiety, substance abuse, eating disorders, and suicidal behavior.

Statistically, borderline personality disorder is diagnosed three times more often in women than in men.

Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline personality disorder is manifested by a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships,

self-image, emotions, and marked impulsivity that begins in early adulthood and appears in a variety of contexts, as demonstrated by five (or more) of the following signs:

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Does not include suicidal behavior or self-mutilation described in (5).

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating extremes of idealization and devaluation. This is called “splitting.”

Identity disturbance: A markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

Impulsivity in at least two areas that may lead to self-harm (e.g., spending, sex, drug use, reckless driving, overeating). Note: Does not include suicidal behavior or self-mutilation described in (5).

Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats, or self-mutilation.

Emotional instability due to a marked mood reaction (e.g., occasional severe mood swings, irritability, or anxiety that usually lasts a few hours but rarely lasts more than a few days).

Chronic feelings of emptiness.
Inappropriately intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent outbursts of anger, constant rage, frequent physical fights).

Transient paranoid thoughts associated with stress or severe dissociative symptoms.

Narcissistic personality disorder

People with narcissistic personality disorder have an exaggerated sense of self-importance and superiority, but in reality they are insecure and have low self-esteem.

But a defining characteristic is their lack of empathy for others. Statistics suggest that men are more likely to have narcissistic personality disorder than women.

They display behavioral traits such as arrogance, lack of empathy, dominance, superiority, and a desire for power.

People with narcissistic personality disorder are unlikely to stay in committed relationships and tend to leave someone they think might leave them.

Signs of Narcissism

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy,

Beginning in early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as demonstrated by five (or more) of the following:

Inflated sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerating accomplishments and talents, expecting to be recognized as superior without commensurate accomplishments)

Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

Belief that one is “special” and unique and can only be understood by or associated with special or high-status people (or institutions)

Demands excessive admiration

Sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment or automatic compliance with one’s expectations

Interpersonally exploitative, i.e., exploits—using others for one’s own ends
-Lacks empathy: Unwilling to recognize or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others

  • Envious of others or believing that others envy him
  • Arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes

Similarities between Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder

People with borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder share many similar characteristics, and both disorders occur in 1 to 2 percent of the population.

They have a distorted sense of self, exhibit anger problems, and display a pattern of idealizing and then devaluing others.

Other similarities between borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder include:

Lack of concern for how their behavior affects others

Tendency to believe that the world revolves around them

Fear of abandonment

Need for constant attention

Constant conflict with work, family, and social relationships

Exhibiting emotional, volatile, or exaggerated behaviors

Both borderline and narcissistic people live in their own selfish world with little or no concern for how their behavior affects others.

People with narcissistic personality disorder expect others to revolve around their world as if they were planets orbiting the sun (narcissistic personality disorder, of course, considers the sun and the center of the universe).

People with borderline personality disorder surround themselves with being around another person as if they were merging them together.

A person with narcissistic personality disorder is completely absorbed in their self-image and buries their feelings, while a person with borderline personality disorder is only concerned with their immediate needs and has no control over their emotions.

People with narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder both fear abandonment intensely but deal with it in distinct and separate ways.

The borderline person literally clings to the relationship while the narcissist abandons the relationship before the other person has a chance to abandon them.

Both individuals with borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder feel intense anger inside them, which can erupt unexpectedly.

As one author put it succinctly, “Borderline personality disorder will abandon you while narcissistic personality disorder will abandon you completely.”

Both individuals with borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder show a stunted emotional development; BPD is typically developed around age three while narcissistic personality disorder is generally developed around age six.

Differences Between Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder are separate disorders with a number of differences that set them apart.

People with borderline personality disorder tend to be extremely impulsive and may engage in compulsive behaviors such as excessive spending, overeating, and risky sexual behavior.

People with borderline personality disorder are more likely to engage in self-harming or self-mutilating behaviors such as cutting or attempting suicide. People with narcissistic personality disorder have an inflated sense of self-worth and do not think about exploiting others to get their needs met.

Narcissists rarely self-harm or attempt suicide.

Other differences between borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder:

People with borderline personality disorder believe they are “special” and can only be understood by special or high-status people, while people with borderline personality disorder feel misunderstood and mistreated

Men are more likely than women to be narcissistic, while women outnumber men with borderline personality disorder

People with narcissistic personality disorder expect other people’s lives to revolve around them, while people with borderline personality disorder devote their lives to someone else

People with borderline personality disorder frantically try to avoid what they perceive as abandonment, while narcissists are more likely to be abandoned

A narcissist can experience “normal” emotions except for empathy. A person with borderline personality disorder is often empathetic to a fault, putting others before themselves at the expense of their own well-being.

Narcissists need other people for attention; they need them as a source of narcissistic supply.

Narcissistic supply is anything that enhances the narcissist’s ego and asserts his or her superiority, grandiosity, or sense of entitlement.

Narcissists are terrified of losing their supply. However, people with borderline personality disorder generally fear abandonment.

Narcissists are characterized by feelings of grandiosity while borderline people find this to be anathema to their character.

The term “grandiosity” refers to the trait of exaggerating one’s accomplishments and talents and/or expecting to be recognized as superior without commensurate accomplishments.

Grandiosity is inconsistent with borderline personality disorder while people with narcissistic personality disorder enjoy it.

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