Narcissists are known for their manipulative and toxic behavior, especially when it comes to dealing with their exes. The aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist can be stressful and emotionally devastating.

Here are some of the destructive ways narcissists deal with their exes.

1. Manipulation

One of the most common tactics narcissists use to manipulate their exes is manipulation. Manipulation involves making their ex doubt their thoughts, feelings, and reality. They will twist the truth and deny any wrongdoing, making their ex feel like they are crazy.

Through manipulation, narcissists aim to maintain control and power over their exes. By undermining their ex’s sense of reality, the narcissist can continue to exert influence and control in the relationship, even after it has ended.

Psychological manipulation can have serious psychological effects on the victim, causing them to question their sanity and leading to feelings of confusion and self-doubt.

2. Vacuum Manipulation

Another common tactic that narcissists use to manipulate their exes is vacuum manipulating. Vacuum manipulating involves trying to lure their ex back into the relationship using various tactics such as love bombing, guilt tripping, or making empty promises.

A narcissist may communicate to their ex how much they miss them or how they have changed. This can be confusing to the ex, who may be tempted to give the narcissist another chance, only to be hurt again.

Vacuuming is a way for the narcissist to maintain control over their ex and keep them emotionally invested in the relationship. It can be extremely detrimental to the mental health and well-being of the ex.

3. Triangulation

Narcissists often use triangulation as a way to manipulate their exes and create jealousy and insecurity. Triangulation involves involving a third party in the relationship dynamics, whether it be an ex-partner, a friend, or a new love interest.

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By triangulating with their ex, the narcissist can play mind games and create competition for their affection. This can lead to the ex feeling insecure and questioning their worth as they have to compete for the narcissist’s attention and affection.

Triangulation is a way for a narcissist to maintain control and power over their ex-partner, while satisfying their need for attention and validation from multiple sources.

4. The Silent Treatment

Another destructive way narcissists deal with their ex-partners is by giving them the silent treatment. The silent treatment involves ignoring and refusing to communicate with their ex-partners, leaving them feeling confused, hurt, and unimportant.

By withholding communication, the narcissist can maintain a sense of power and control over their ex-partners, while also punishing them for their perceived wrongdoings or for not meeting their expectations.

The silent treatment can be emotionally damaging to the ex-partner, causing feelings of loneliness, rejection, and low self-esteem. The narcissist can also make the ex-partner feel hopeless about any form of contact or validation from the narcissist.

5. Smear Campaigns

Narcissists often engage in smear campaigns against their ex-partners as a way to discredit and destroy their reputation. This can include spreading lies, rumors, and negative gossip about the ex to mutual friends, family members, or even on social media. The narcissist may portray themselves as the victim and their ex as the villain, manipulating others to turn against the ex and isolate them further. This can be extremely damaging to the ex’s social and emotional health.

By engaging in smear campaigns, a narcissist can continue to exert control and power over their ex, even after the relationship has ended. It can also serve as a way for the narcissist to boost their ego and sense of superiority.

6. Financial Exploitation

Many narcissists use financial exploitation as a way to manipulate and control their ex-partners, especially if the ex-partner was financially dependent on them during the relationship. The narcissist may withhold financial resources, manipulate assets, or refuse to pay alimony or child support.

This can leave the ex-partner in a vulnerable and precarious financial position, struggling to make ends meet and support themselves or their children. The narcissist may use money as a way to manipulate the ex-partner and keep them tied to the relationship.

Financial exploitation can have serious consequences for the ex-partner’s financial stability and well-being, causing feelings of stress, anxiety, and insecurity. It can also make it difficult for the ex-partner to move on and achieve independence.

7. Love Bombing

Love Bombing is a tactic that narcissists often use to manipulate their ex by showering them with excessive attention, affection, and gifts. This can be a way for the narcissist to regain control over their ex and bring them back into the relationship.

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A narcissist may use love bombing as a way to cover up their abusive behavior or to exploit their ex’s emotions and vulnerabilities. By bombarding their ex with expressions of love and adoration, the narcissist can create a sense of dependency and attachment.

Love Bombing can be emotionally overwhelming for the ex, who may feel overwhelmed by the sudden influx of affection and attention. It can also make it difficult for the ex to see the narcissist’s true intentions and manipulative behavior.

8. Blame

Blame bombing is a common tactic that narcissists use to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and behavior. Instead of acknowledging their mistakes and flaws, the narcissist will place the blame on their ex, making them the cause of all the problems in the relationship.

By shifting blame onto their ex, a narcissist can maintain a sense of superiority and self-righteousness, while also distracting from their own toxic behavior. This can make the ex feel confused, guilty, and invalidated.

Shifting blame can erode the ex’s sense of self-worth and confidence, as they are made to feel responsible for the narcissist’s actions and flaws. It can be extremely damaging to the ex’s mental health and well-being.

9. Stalking

Some narcissists resort to stalking their ex as a way to maintain control and surveillance over them, even after the relationship has ended. This can include monitoring their ex’s social media accounts, showing up unannounced at their home or workplace, or following them around in public.

Stalking can be extremely intrusive and frightening for an ex-partner, causing feelings of fear, anxiety, and paranoia. It can also violate their sense of privacy and personal space, making them feel vulnerable and exposed.

Stalking is a way for a narcissist to exert power and dominance over their ex-partner, as well as satisfy their need for control and validation. It can have serious legal and emotional consequences for the ex-partner, impacting their sense of safety and security.

10. Enabling Enablers

Another destructive way narcissists deal with their ex-partners is by enlisting enablers to support and validate their behavior. These enablers may be friends, family members, or new partners who enable the narcissist’s toxic behavior and reinforce their sense of superiority.

By surrounding themselves with enablers, the narcissist can further manipulate and control their ex-partner, boosting their ego and sense of importance. This can make it difficult for the ex-partner to break free from the narcissist’s influence and control.

Enablers can further isolate an ex-partner and prevent them from seeking help and support from others. It can also make it difficult for an ex-partner to set boundaries and protect themselves from further emotional harm.

Conclusion

Dealing with a narcissistic ex-partner can be stressful and emotionally devastating. From manipulation to financial exploitation, narcissists use a variety of manipulative tactics to maintain control and power over their ex-partners. It is important for individuals who have been in a relationship with a narcissist to seek support and set boundaries to protect themselves from further harm. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and the toxic behavior of a narcissist is not your fault.