In the world of dating, there is a subtle tactic known as future faking. It involves making big promises about the future to gain support in the present, even if there is no intention of following through. Although often associated with narcissistic behavior, future counterfeiting is not limited to this area; He is prevalent in the dating scene due to his manipulative appeal.
In simpler terms, it’s about telling someone what they want to hear about the future to get what you want from them now.
In this article, we delve into the complexities of future counterfeiting, going beyond its surface to examine its impact on relationships beyond just a tool for narcissistic manipulation. When you know the signs of future faking, there’s no need to do careful research, get a PhD in toxic relationships, or determine if someone is a narcissist (or what their story is).
Understanding future counterfeiting
The term “future counterfeiting” is older than our current material on narcissism and is not limited to narcissists.
Future faking is making false promises or commitments about the future to manipulate or deceive someone in the present. While it can appear in various forms, its essence is to create the illusion of a beautiful or shared future, usually without real intention or commitment.
Aside from its association with narcissism, it can be used to describe anyone who wants to paint a picture of a beautiful future, from the person you went on a date with to the car salesman to the authentic business owner who uses to fake the future to make it seem like it is. Your possibilities in their company are endless.
This deceptive tactic can take many forms, from outlandish declarations of love and commitment, to elaborate plans for shared experiences and life milestones that never seem to materialize.
Motives behind faking the future
Contrary to popular belief, future faking is not limited to narcissistic individuals. It can also be used by emotionally unavailable people who have little emotional intelligence.
Future fakery usually occurs intensely and frequently at the beginning of a relationship. Future counterfeiters engage in this behavior for many reasons, each stemming from their unique desires, selfishness, and agendas.
Self-interest: Some individuals use future faking to fulfill their desires or maintain control in a relationship. By painting an attractive picture of the future, they seek validation, attention, or emotional fulfillment in the present, without real consideration of their partner’s feelings or expectations.
Avoid confrontation: For others, future-proofing serves as a shield against uncomfortable conversations or potential conflict. By making grand promises about the future, they postpone addressing fundamental issues or making real decisions, effectively buying time while maintaining the status quo.
Manipulation for Personal Gain: Like narcissists, some individuals use future manipulation as a calculated manipulation tactic to exploit their partners’ emotions or resources. Whether it’s to gain trust, financial support, or unwavering loyalty, they use broken promises as a means to an end, without any intention of keeping them. They may want to paint a flawless image of themselves and prevent you from choosing other options or partners.
Conforming to social expectations: External pressures from societal norms or peer influence can also lead individuals to engage in faking in the future. They may feel compelled to make commitments about the future because it is expected in their social circle or seen as the norm, even if they have doubts or reservations about their intentions.
Instant gratification: Finally, some individuals indulge in future faking to satisfy their immediate desires for affection, validation, or attention. By weaving elaborate fantasies of a shared future, they seek validation and emotional fulfillment in the moment, often without consideration of the long-term consequences or effects on their partner.
Influence on relationships
The repercussions of future faking can be profound, leading to disappointment, mistrust, and emotional turmoil in relationships. When false promises are exposed, they break the foundation of trust and undermine the health of the relationship between partners.
The betrayed partner is left grappling with feelings of betrayal, confusion, and resentment, while the perpetrator may face consequences ranging from being viewed as untrustworthy to engaging in further manipulation and deception. It generally only works on those who need something or are unsuspecting. So, if you stay mindful of the possibility of future fakeouts while dating, and don’t fingerprint someone too early, you’ll be ahead of the game.