Wondering how to get over a narcissist?
If you are here, I imagine you are too.
Truth be told, it’s a seemingly near-impossible task.
do you know that? I know that. Everyone knows that.
But is it possible to avoid the things that delay recovery in recovering from narcissistic abuse? Maybe put us in line to heal up a little faster?
definitely.
In this post, you will get to know exactly what I am talking about. Different strategies for healing faster and ones that make us stop screaming.
Let’s start by talking about the placebo effect.
Placebo effect
Many of us have heard of the placebo effect, which asserts that the subconscious mind is very powerful and that your thoughts have the power to manifest healing.
Numerous studies have been published proving the amazing power of your brain in recovery. In one such study designed to determine whether beneficial effects are still present when a patient realizes they are receiving a placebo, nearly 60 percent of patients treated with a placebo pill reported satisfactory relief from irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) symptoms, compared to only 35 percent of those who did not receive any treatment.
Even more surprising, those taking the placebo reported that the progression was effectively equal to that reported by people taking stronger IBS medications!
In general, placebos have far fewer side effects (if any at all) than prescription drugs, injections, or actual surgeries—and often work with the same standard of care. Placebos work about 18-80% of the time, and not just in your head – they can actually widen your bronchial tubes, heal ulcers, make warts disappear, lower blood pressure, and even make bald men who think they’re getting Rogaine to grow their hair!
The effect of Nocebo in recovery from narcissistic abuse
Unfortunately, the placebo effect has a cognate called the nocebo effect (“I will hurt” in Latin), and its power leads to negative results because one believes in it. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy where being informed about possible side effects of a pill or procedure can trigger negative reactions.
So what does all this mean in the world of narcissistic abuse recovery?
The longer you research narcissism (beyond a reasonable limit) and wait on the wrong “recovery” forums for narcissistic abuse, the longer it will take you to heal, both psychologically and physically.
Some people don’t heal.
One sad example of the nocebo effect is illustrated by a comment left on my blog recently. One lady was on a “recovery” forum and was told that it takes ten years to deal with loving a narcissist (with their devastating infidelities) and another ten years to heal.
Therefore, according to the advice this woman had received, she was prepared to believe that she would not be cured for nearly twenty years.
And that’s the danger of following abuse recovery forums and pages when you’re learning how to get over a narcissist. The Real Recovery Forum will focus less on narcissism and more on how to heal from its effects. The Real Recovery Forum will help its followers move from a dark place of destruction to a place of empowerment and healing.
If a blog or recovery forum you follow is making the 100th post about gaslighting, it may not be the right forum for you if you want to recover. If a site you visit is constantly complementing its narcissistic posts with psychologically harmful images, you’ll want to think twice about what their true motives are.
How to overcome a narcissist
The effects of narcissistic abuse are very real. I see evidence of this every day and have suffered from narcissistic abuse syndrome myself. But when it comes to how to overcome a narcissist, there has to be an organic transition from recognizing the narcissist’s tactics to how to recover from those tactics.
If you suspect you may have a medical condition, you can go to a website like WebMD and write down your symptoms. The natural progression would be the ‘what to do’ for the condition to heal. You will not focus for years looking for symptoms. You will make an appointment with the doctor and do what you need to do to get better. You can change your diet, commit to getting more rest, or create more balance in your life.
The same goes for recovery from narcissistic abuse.
[click_to_tweet tweet = “The longer you focus on narcissistic abuse, the stronger the nocebo affects you. There is no point in continuing to research narcissism after years of experience unless you are studying to become a therapist, coach, or another therapist.” quote = “The longer you focus on narcissistic abuse and its devastating consequences, the longer the nocebo will affect your health, livelihood, and mortality. There is simply no point in continuing to research narcissism after five to ten years of experiencing a narcissist unless you are studying to become a licensed therapist, social worker, or another such therapist.” theme = “style6″]
If you want to make sure that you will never attract another narcissist into your life, there are only two things you need to do, and neither of them is about the narcissist.
Of course, if you’re just learning that someone in your life could be a narcissist, you’ll need to educate yourself about their behaviors and what to expect. But I would recommend limiting such research to six months or so – much like an academic subject in college. Next, you’ll want to move into the realm of treating yourself.
Choose habits that heal
The thing to remember is that in every moment we live, we have the power to choose. If you are feeling helpless in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse, a supportive alternative is to learn ways to lift yourself from the ashes of destruction. Focus on how to love yourself, how to create healthy boundaries, and the power of energy healing.
The wounds that we need to mend to heal and grow from the experience of narcissistic abuse lie at the subconscious level. If you feed your psyche more and more material about misery and defeat, it will do no more than keep you in this not-so-strong place.
