So… do you want to break up with a narcissist? Let me start by congratulating you on seeing the light. Narcissists destroy people’s lives, and they destroy many people’s opinions and beliefs about what a healthy relationship should look like.

Breaking up with a narcissist can go two ways, depending on how you’re dealing with them at the time.

There are good things to say, and there are terrible things to say.

Knowing the difference between the two will help you get through this with as little pain as possible.

Let’s get started – the advice starts here!

best

“I don’t want this anymore”

Really simple. Being bold and open will get you places, especially when you’re looking to get out of a relationship with a narcissist.

Related :These Are The Worst Ways to Break Up With a Narcissist

It doesn’t matter what they want anymore, it’s time to focus on you and your priorities.

Taking the time to appear unsure about your decision to break up is an invitation for the narcissist to keep you hooked on their toxic tactics.

You’re better than that.

“Please don’t contact me”

A firm and clear no-contact instruction is a powerful way to end any relationship with a narcissist.

You have earned the right to be free, to have privacy, and to move on without fear of a message popping up in the middle of a good day. Telling them you don’t want that is a good place to start.

This can go along with blocking them on all forms of social media, as well as your phone and email. Let their messages go out into the world, and let them ignore you.

“I’ve made my decision”

Reaffirm firmly that no matter what they try to say or do, there is no going back. This is not a discussion. This is definitely not a moveable decision.

You want it to end, and you don’t want to go through the hassle of going back to the push-pull dynamic you are desperate to escape.

Stand by your decision, and tell them there is no turning back and trying it again.

“We can’t be friends”

Staying friends with a narcissist after a breakup means you’re always around someone whose fragile ego is reminding you of what they lost.

It’s like a pass to your most vulnerable emotional places. They know what makes you tick, they know what drives you crazy, and they know how to push all your buttons.

Do you really want to be around someone who’s constantly at risk of creating unnecessary drama, especially among other friends?

If things get tough in the friend zone, they won’t hesitate to recruit anyone who’s platonically close to you.

It’s much better to just cut them off altogether.

“That’s what I want”

Expressing what you want leaves no room for interpretation. The narcissist will certainly try to influence your thoughts and convince you that you don’t want to end the relationship, but if you continue to insist on your desire, and express it as honestly and sincerely as possible, you’re on the right track to moving on quickly.

Narcissists want to try to convince you of what you want, and their attempts to make you sound crazy or unsure will be admirable—but stand your ground.

The Worst

“I will always love you”

I want to scream “Nooooo!”

I hope you can sense it, even though you can’t hear my voice.

Telling a narcissist that you love them is a lot like saying, “Actually, you know, I don’t think I’m going to break up with you, after all.”

They want to be loved and admired, but more than that, they expect it. It’s a lot like a demand. Hearing you say you still love them means there’s a strong chance you’ll change your mind.

Do you want your mind to change?

“I want to stay in touch”

Why?

What can a narcissist do for you after a breakup?

Your quality of life will not improve, it will only get worse.

Happiness cannot come from them staying. Imagine trying to move on and eventually start dating again, and the narcissist hears about it. You will never hear the end of it, and you will be upset over and over again.

Related : Why You’ll Never Be Good Enough For a Narcissist

Delete them from everything they have access to. I would even go so far as to delete anyone they are closely associated with and talk to, too, because you may find a stranger trying to intrude on your business and pass on information.

No.

Cut it out completely.

“Can I get my stuff back?”

Oh.

So you broke up with the narcissist before you expected to get all your stuff back.

This is going to be hard, but it’s a lesson you’ve learned anyway if you choose to do it this way.

Breaking up has to come eventually. It has to start with preparation, and it has to be organized.

If you have things in his house or in his possession, start slowly getting them back, little by little. A DVD here, a jacket there. Record it all, and get them back before you even dare to end it.

If you don’t, you’ll have to settle for the fact that you’ll probably never see them again because the narcissist will see them as pawns in the chess game he’s trying to play with you.

Is it really worth it?

“I just need a little time”

According to the narcissist, time to think equals time to manipulate.

Time to change your mind.

Time to get in your head.

Time to prove that you’re making the biggest mistake by leaving them.

If you make it clear to them that you need time, it is also unlikely to be given to you, because the narcissist has no boundaries, and will not listen to your wants or needs.

They will constantly text you, call you, or find ways to meet you while you are “thinking.” They feel like they have a right to be in your life until you tell them that you don’t want them around.

You don’t need time.