I hesitated about writing this initial piece or having a section with this type of content, which focuses on delving into the psychology of the narcissist. With years of first-hand experience dealing with narcissists, however, I have decided that I want to share my knowledge to help others understand this personality disorder and avoid wasting years in confusion and pain.
How narcissists are made
Those who suffer from pathological narcissism have a unique internal composition. Inside every narcissist lies the true, ineffective, and deeply wounded self. The true self is the original personality and soul of the narcissist if you like. As a small child, the narcissist unconsciously separated from his true self at some point. The reason for this is completely unknown. However, pathology is likely the result of a genetic predisposition, innate character, lack of love, or a noticeable lack of love during the first years of development. We can assume that the narcissist was born in an environment where narcissistic patterns of relationships were common.
The narcissist was born with a very sensitive temperament. While this trait is often perceived as positive and is associated with extreme empathy, in the case of a narcissist, the same sensitivity has become the cause of her maladaptive nature.
Having incurred the narcissistic wound, the true self ceases to develop, thereby explaining how narcissists are made. So the narcissist will remain stuck forever at this age, emotionally speaking. In its place entered the ego. At that time, the ego offered an alternative and attractive means of operation that would allow the narcissist to satisfy his needs and defend against weakness. The narcissist wants to get as far away as possible from his feelings as a helpless child.
As the narcissist continues to work through the ego, the ego has evolved into a more established, often brutal, false self. A false self is everything a narcissist has always wanted, possessing characteristics that they perceive their original true self to lack. If a narcissist feels that their authentic self is weak, they ensure that the false self is presented as strong. The same is true of the pseudo-self of the secret narcissist; only it can be much more difficult to identify him. Covert narcissists carry the same sense of entitlement as overtones. Only, being introverted narcissists, they are skilled at hiding. Covert narcissists may use guilt, pity plays, and procrastination to manipulate others to achieve the desired result.
Tragically, the narcissist becomes more disconnected from his original true self over time. At the moment when the separation from the soul occurred, there was no way back, and the narcissist could only part with his underdeveloped identity. As a result, the narcissist cannot self-love, or self-reflect and lacks honesty with himself or herself. If you have ever tried to have an honest conversation with a narcissist, you will notice the disconnect between reality and his emotions.
The narcissist’s ego completely controls how the narcissist feels. Unfortunately, the false self is not self-sufficient but needs constant amplification with recognition and praise from others. This drug of choice is known as the narcissistic symptom. The narcissist uses this symptom to emphasize his greatness and superiority over others and relieve deep-seated feelings of worthlessness and shame stemming from the original true self.
Narcissistic relationship patterns
Narcissistic personality disorder completely governs all aspects of a narcissist’s behavior, and there are easily recognizable narcissistic relationship patterns that appear frequently. Narcissists are addicts who spend their lives escaping from their authentic selves and looking for warmth, energy, and affirmation from others. Many people fall into the manipulative tactics that come with a personality disorder and unknowingly find themselves enablers of narcissism. All individuals with this disease suffer from dependence on others, no matter how hard they try to hide this fact by hiding. The dependent narcissist is a fairly real phenomenon.
Related : Why the Narcissist Blames You
When the narcissist fails to secure adequate supplies, the false self attacks the wounds of the true self, telling the narcissist that she is useless, ugly, and unloved. Such personal assassinations are unbearable and extremely painful for them, as they would be for anyone. A false self is an outrageous construction that offends the damaged soul of a narcissist around the clock. Since narcissists are emotionally undeveloped, they cannot distinguish truth from feeling, which makes them more vulnerable. The inner world of those who suffer from this disease is forever cruel and tortuous, which we see reflected in all styles of narcissistic relationships.
As the dependent narcissist ages, the false self is allowed to develop forever because the narcissist does not have the emotional tools to face his childhood wounds. The narcissist will go through life becoming increasingly numb and viewing their actions as if they were a third person looking for them. The psychology of the narcissist implies that the disorder is generally progressive because they remain trapped inside their rigid personality structure.
Final thoughts on the psychology of narcissism
Learning how to make narcissists can lead to a depressing reading and, in many cases, make others feel more empathy towards those who suffer from this pathology. It’s not unnatural to want to take care of a narcissist or think that you can fix this person with the right amount of love. Sometimes, we think along these lines because of our selfishness. Many of us may want to be a savior, regardless of whether we realize this desire. However, this thought process is quite romantic and is not grounded in reality.
What exactly do you think you are trying to rescue? Under the various masks of a narcissist, there is no single home. There is no real feeling or reasonable person to get inside its construction. The retarded soul of a narcissist sits trapped in a mental prison of her own making and has been doing so for decades. Unfortunately, nothing you or anyone else says or can not change this ever.
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