Contrary to popular belief, there are quite a few things narcissists are afraid of. In fact, there are 7 things narcissists fear more than anything else. So, what do narcissists fear most?
I was actually going to try and post funny search terms again, but alas, they weren’t funny, so I scrapped that idea. However, I found one that inspired me to write this post: What are the 6 things narcissists fear most?
It’s a good question. Are narcissists afraid of anything? You bet they are, and there are 7 silly things that scare them, not just 6.
Related: Divorcing The Female Narcissist, Borderline, or other Abuser
7 Things narcissists fear the most
- Abandonment and rejection.
Narcissists cannot stand rejection or abandonment. This is why they fly into a rage, punish you and threaten you if you threaten to leave them, and love you with bombs if you manage to escape. Rejecting a narcissist means that you are rejecting the false self that they have carefully crafted to impress you.
Rejecting that false self negates their entire raison d’être because any true self they may leave is completely inaccessible and the false self cannot survive on its own; He is completely dependent on the approval and attention of others, from whom he feeds like vampires.
When you reject a narcissist, they are forced to confront their emptiness and nothing scares them more than that. They will fight tooth and nail to avoid it, even if it means they have to destroy you in the process.
- Make fun of him.
Narcissists do not have a sense of humor. Nada. no one. zero. zoom. They may laugh cruelly at you when you fall and break your arm, they may chuckle at someone else’s annoyance (since they have almost no empathy), especially if the annoyance is caused by them (because you remember that to them you are not a real person but an object), but they are completely incapable of ridicule themselves.
A few years ago, I posted on a forum, there was a guy who got mad when someone wrote “lol” at a joke someone else made on his account (the joke wasn’t very offensive), and they’ve both since given the silent treatment.
They take themselves very seriously and are very sensitive. But this sensitivity does not extend to anyone but themselves.
The reason they are bothered by jokes at their own expense and unable to make fun of themselves is because the self they present to the world is a false character who must be supported and upheld at all times by everyone else.
Mocking a narcissist is mocking an empty self like a puppet. It has no substance. They will fall apart and then the narcissist will have to confront this terrifying void that haunts them constantly.
- Disrespect.
No one likes to be treated with contempt or disrespect, but the narcissist feels in awe of it. He or she worries about it all the time and fantasizes about insults and personal attacks even when they are not there.
Again, it boils down to the false self he or she must continue to support. It’s your job to constantly inflate and inflate it lest it collapse into a loose mound of brittle rubber. Disrespecting a narcissist is like making a hole in their balloon and feeling like they are going to die.
To avoid this, the narcissist uses every defense mechanism they have in their arsenal—gaslighting, anger, the silent processing, lying, projection, denial, fabrication, and false emotion—to keep you inflating their balloon breath so they don’t have to admit the horror of admitting they’ve lost their one true self.
- Ignore.
This is a no brainer. Ignoring the narcissist means giving them no supply at all, and without the narcissist’s supply, the narcissist dies a slow death. Or he thinks they will. This is why some narcissists would rather hate than be ignored.
Negative attention is still attention, and it at least provides an acknowledgment that it is still there. When you ignore a narcissist, it is as scary for them as killing. They are no longer sure of their existence without your attention.
- Exposure.
If you call out a narcissist about his abusive behavior, he will usually get very angry. Their anger may be expressed in anger or by more covert means such as the silent treatment or gaslighting you.
They don’t like being responsible for the things they do to others, because that means they have to admit that they are less than perfect. It also means that they have to acknowledge another person’s humanity, which they are unable to do.
Narcissists are very aware of their flaws, but only on a subconscious level, and the way they deal with this is by projecting their flaws onto you. So the narcissist might tell you that you are the narcissist, or that you are the abuser.
They are also good at getting others to line up against you, and these people become their flying monkeys. They will accuse you of doing things they did themselves and everyone believes them but not you.
You start to feel like you’re living in a hellish world of smoke and mirrors, where you’re no longer sure what’s real and what’s not.
The narcissist has, unconsciously or consciously, set up this elaborate lie as a huge defense mechanism against being exposed as just as imperfect and flawed as everyone else, because being forced to admit their own shortcomings is exposing their weaknesses, and being exposed is just too terrifying for them. they. They blame so as not to feel shame.
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- Loss of the trappings of youth and success.
As narcissists get older, they often become more abusive (a very few may improve—but they may not have been high-spectrum, to begin with). This is because old age means losing appearance, a job, health, perhaps even a spouse (who provides the narcissist with supplies), and in some cases even solvency.
All of these things are proof to the narcissist that they are still valued and still admired and respected.
Physical narcissists, who are more concerned with their health or physical appearance, have never developed other aspects of themselves that can be undone when these things start to show up; That’s because the false self is a flimsy, one-dimensional construct that’s incapable of love, true attachment, friendship, and other things that the rest of us can fall back on when we’re old and not in good physical shape or health anymore.
If someone spends their entire life concerned only with their appearance, what is left?
Cerebral narcissists, concerned with their intellectual ability or business acumen, may be able to hold on to these assets for a little longer, but eventually, their minds may begin to become less sharp or they may have to retire or reduce their hours.
Having to retire is a major blow to a narcissist whose entire identity is linked to his career and earning capacity. The remaining?
Either way, the narcissist suffers an almost complete loss of supply, and to avoid the resulting depression, they lash out and lash out at others like angry dogs. This is why longtime narcissists are often so cranky and mean. They are also terrified of death, the last thing on the list that terrifies them.
- Loss of the trappings of youth and success.
As narcissists get older, they often become more abusive (a very few may improve—but they may not have been high-spectrum, to begin with). This is because old age means losing appearance, a job, health, perhaps even a spouse (who provides the narcissist with supplies), and in some cases even solvency.
All of these things are proof to the narcissist that they are still valued and still admired and respected.
Physical narcissists, who are more concerned with their health or physical appearance, have never developed other aspects of themselves that can be undone when these things start to show up; That’s because the false self is a flimsy, one-dimensional construct that’s incapable of love, true attachment, friendship, and other things that the rest of us can fall back on when we’re old and not in good physical shape or health anymore.
If someone spends their entire life concerned only with their appearance, what is left?
Cerebral narcissists, concerned with their intellectual ability or business acumen, may be able to hold on to these assets for a little longer, but eventually, their minds may begin to become less sharp or they may have to retire or reduce their hours.
Having to retire is a major blow to a narcissist whose entire identity is linked to his career and earning capacity. The remaining?
Either way, the narcissist suffers an almost complete loss of supply, and to avoid the resulting depression, they lash out and lash out at others like angry dogs. This is why longtime narcissists are often so cranky and mean. They are also terrified of death, the last thing on the list that terrifies them.
- Death.
Narcissists are afraid of death. Every narcissist I’ve known lives in mortal terror of death. It is because death is the ultimate loss of the narcissistic display. Death means complete annihilation of the ego and there is nothing more terrifying for narcissists than that because their ego is all they are.
Related: How To Manage Your Dark Side – 10 Tips To Embrace Your Shadow Self
I think some fear hell. They know on a deep level how much they abused and exploited others and believe they may be held responsible for it in the afterlife. I’ve seen a lot of narcissists who suddenly become very religious in their old age.
I think this is because they believe by being religious they may be able to avoid any accountability after their death.
