We are sure that the five love languages and their importance are not news to you, but do you know how the love languages of narcissists and empaths differ from each other?
Gary Chapman, in his book The Five Love Languages: How to Express a Sincere Commitment to Your Mate, put forward the concept of a “love language.” According to his theory, these five love languages explain how we experience and express love in romantic relationships.
These five love languages are:
Gifts: giving and receiving
Fun time: sharing time with your partner
Words of Affirmations: Phrases like “I love you” or “You are important to me”
Acts of Service: Doing something for your significant other
Physical touch: physical proximity or intimacy
According to the five love languages principles, people in romantic relationships tend to give love or show affection in the same way they prefer to receive love.
For example, if someone’s favorite love language gifts, not only will they want to receive gifts, but they’ll also shower their romantic interest with many thoughtful gifts.
Therefore, to have a better connection and a healthy fulfilling relationship, partners should do the following:
Discover the love language of others
Observe how their partners express love, what they complain about the most, and what their partners demand the most.
Show your interest in a love language that the receiving partner understands and prefers
Seems like a cheat code for a perfect relationship, right? But, what if it is an empathic and narcissistic relationship?
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Love languages of narcissists and empaths
Empaths and narcissists are notorious for being involved in toxic and dysfunctional relationships. These two personality types are opposites and have nothing in common, making their relationships doomed from the start.
Although narcissistic and romantic relationships are fraught with challenges, be they emotionally, mental, or physical, these two have an undeniable magnetic attraction toward each other, which usually ends with either draining the sympathetic partner and walking away, or replacing them with someone new.
But what causes an empath to be drawn to a narcissist in the first place and what drives him to hold on to her through all the abuse and trauma the narcissist often unleashes? The answer is love language manipulation!
Yes, the 5 love languages that help healthy couples strengthen their bond can be used by narcissists to manipulate their partner, and if that partner happens to be an empath, it’s a field day for the narcissist.
To better understand the abuse of love language that narcissists commit, let’s break down the five love languages one by one, and take a look at how the love languages of narcissists and empaths differ from one another.
5 Love Languages of Narcissists and Empaths
Empaths and narcissists have their version of the five love languages, and this contrast in the love languages of empaths and narcissists gives way to a very unbalanced model.
- Gifts: The Different Love Languages of Narcissists and Empaths
Narcissist
Gifts are tools narcissists use to make a profit. Sure, they love flashy and expensive gifts for themselves, but when it comes to gifting their loved ones, the Narc will choose a gift with the sole intent of getting the upper hand over their partner.
The partner should be eternally indebted, and grateful to the narcissist.
empath
Empaths appreciate the idea behind a gift and love to shower their partners with thoughtful gifts. It is their authentic way of showing their love and affection.
They can bend over backward to gift their narcissistic partner all kinds of expensive things, just to make them happy, and the manipulative narrative will turn them on.
- Quality Time: The Different Love Languages of Narcissists and Empaths
Narcissist
People with narcissistic personality disorder are naturally self-absorbed. They believe they should always have their partner’s full focus and attention.
To ensure this, they may even go so far as to cut their partners away from their friends, family, and every other support system. However, they will never offer to do the same when it is their turn.
empath
Spending quality time with their partner means a lot to the two sympathizers. They seek meaningful conversations and shared experiences as a way to increase the emotional investment in their relationship.
When the narcissistic partner is forced to spend more time with them, sympathy is easily mistaken for love. As a result, they continue to devote all of their time and energy to the narcissist and get nothing in return.
- Words of Affirmations: The Different Love Languages of Narcissists and Empaths
Narcissist
Narcissists can be silver-tongued when they first try to hook up a victim or put them back in custody after an argument. They can use the right words at the right time and the promise of the stars and the moon, by bombarding love or hoopla. However, in the long run, their words and actions will never align.
They are always prone to losing their cool, and so it doesn’t take long for words of positive affirmations to turn into verbal abuse and demeaning comments at the slightest stimulus.
empath
Empaths, on the other hand, attach a lot of importance to these verbal displays of affection. They use these affirmations to motivate their partners and make them feel good about themselves. Empaths willingly provide a great deal of narcissistic supply to their toxic partners by boosting their egos with this love language.
Narcissist
Just like giving gifts, narcissists do acts of service to their interests. They always toss every small act of service toward their partner to make them feel guilty and obligated. Also, narcissists try to make their partners dependent on them by doing things they know will be endearing to their partners.
empath
Empaths have a compulsion to put others before themselves and their narcissistic partners can greatly abuse this trait. Narcissists expect everyone, especially their partners, to wait for hand and foot, and empaths find themselves complying with these unfair demands.
- Physical Touch: The Different Love Languages of Narcissists and Empaths
Narcissist
Narcissists are selfish people and their selfishness is manifested in the fifth love language. When it comes to physical affection, closeness, and intimacy, they operate at two extremes.
They will demand physical affection from their partners when they are in the mood for it and will withhold any kind of physical touching when they want to punish their partners for some perceived misconduct.
empath
Empaths will give in to their narcissistic partner’s demands for intimacy even if they are not ready for it at that moment. As a love language, they crave affectionate physical touches, such as holding hands, hugs, and forehead kisses. But when they feel vulnerable and in need of some physical comfort, they may be brutally despised by their narcissistic partner.
