The time has come, and the door has closed.
The narcissist is officially a part of your past, no longer poisoning your present, which is your life.
The joy is palpable, as you finally see a way out of the darkness and into a better future.
However, you keep one eye on the narcissist out of habit. And as much as you hate to admit it, you notice some surprising things happening.
I’m here to tell you these things, and to reiterate, don’t be surprised either. These are just another game they’re playing.
IT’S TIME!
Lay out the carpet, dust off the jewels, as you head into the sunset with nothing but a smile and a prayer!
The further and further you walk away from the narcissist, the smaller and smaller they become.
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Finally, right?
Except for one small detail. You feel a slight unease behind you. It’s enough to stop looking at the sunset and turn around.
And there you see them calculating and executing their plans for the future of you accordingly.
And what do those plans look like?
Suddenly Perfect!
After all this damn time, you see the perfect version of themselves.
They’re fun, smart, caring, and loyal. They give people time, patience, and positive energy.
Before you do anything in response, let’s do a little reality check.
First, stop idealizing them. This is fake. I know it feels real, but it’s just a facade.
The narcissist is still the same person you thought they were, except they’re acting perfect in the hopes that you’ll notice their purity and come back.
They want you to beg and plead, so they can eventually take you back or dump you.
Then there’s the other reason—the more hidden one.
They were dumped, but they don’t want to look like they were dumped.
People may wonder:
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Oh my God, what was wrong with this person that they dumped them?
So you’re looking at a serious case of all eyes on the narcissist, which would be their worst nightmare ever!
To avoid any suspicion, the narcissist will act cool, smile sweetly, get along with everyone, and be the helpful, considerate person the world wants you to believe you are.
Then the questions will likely be:
Oh my God. How could they leave such a nice person? Are they crazy? They must be!
Suddenly—you’re the crazy one.
Time To Shame
I’m not pretending here—smear campaigns are extremely dangerous and destructive.
I can’t stress enough that they’re the worst ways to watch your reputation helplessly go down the drain.
Yes, there are ways to save yourself on some levels, but as you move forward in life and the narcissist points the finger at you, be prepared to lose some people.
Let me give you an example.
Sally decided she’d suffered enough in her relationship, so she decided to leave Pete.
Pete spent years telling her she wasn’t good enough, criticizing her every move and word.
Sally became a shadow of herself, and eventually, she decided to move on.
Pete, in his narcissistic desperation to discredit Sally in a final revenge plot, told all of her friends that Sally had never liked them.
One or two didn’t believe him, but the rest did, and no matter how hard Sally tried to improve their relationship, they refused to remain friends.
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Pete told them:
Sally never liked you.
She used to nag at you all the time, especially when you texted her late at night.
Don’t think she’s the innocent person she pretends to be.
She told me all your secrets, and I’ll never trust her again.
She’s a bad person.
And that’s that.
From Pete’s perspective, if he can’t have Sally anymore, then neither can her friends.
Victim? Yes!
It’s in narcissists’ best interests to play the victim. Everything they’ve built can’t come crashing down just because you’ve gotten over it.
Their image.
Their (fake) healthy persona.
The love they (claimed) had for you.
The truths they crafted for others to believe.
Losing you means losing everything they’ve put into it, and I know this will be hard for you to accept, but…
…Narcissists are great victims.
They will cry, and people will hug them, trying to make it better.
The tears will be real, and consistent with the story that you broke their heart.
I did everything I could.
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They were the love of my life.
I never imagined they would leave me.
I gave them everything I had.
I thought I was the one who pledged to love forever.
I’m lost without them.
I don’t know what I did wrong.
I just wanted it to work out.
I miss them so much,
And how do you think that makes you look?
Yes. Guilty.
But you’re not!
Watching You
I always feel like someone is watching me.
This is a classic case of being right! Narcissists love to watch you, like you’re a movie they know so well.
They love to know what you’re doing, who you’re doing it with, and when you’re doing it.
It’s scary, isn’t it? You need to do what you can to protect yourself. Keep your life private and your circle of acquaintances small.
Pretend They Don’t Care
This is the ultimate damage control solution.
Pretending they don’t care hides the fact that they rejected you. It’s like trying to save themselves, which is ridiculous.
They simply don’t want to admit they’ve lost you.
It would be the same if they ran into you.
This is because the narcissist knows your schedule and is waiting around every corner and turn. Then they’ll act cold, as if they didn’t even know you existed.
Related : 8 Signs Your Narcissist Ex Really Isn’t Over You Yet
Changing your life a little will alter your timeline and confuse the narcissist. Try to get rid of them and leave them in the past where they belong.
Good luck!
Sabotage Time
If you think you’re going to find someone new to love and be with, you’d better prepare for the narcissist to come along and try to sabotage your relationship.
Related : The Real Reason Narcissists Move on So Quickly
Spreading rumors.
Interfering.
Lying about you.
Show up.
Pretend you haven’t forgotten them yet.
Anything that ruins your happiness.
Walk away and set boundaries!
Move On Anyway
Listen, you can’t let what the narcissist is doing stop you from moving on and living your life.
You broke up for a reason, and I’m sure it took a lot of courage for you to take that step. Even if they’re chasing someone new to replace you and erase what you had, let them.
Why does it matter?
If you’re moving on, you should do so with the firm confidence that you don’t regret leaving the abuse.
Don’t let the narcissist stop you or question your choices.
You’re doing what’s right for you, and that’s commendable.
