Not long ago, one of my close friends started dating a guy who was a fan of Norse mythology. He was a pagan man, and because I grew up in a pagan home, I had some respect for him.
For a while, it seemed like a good relationship. My friend was a pagan, a Norse pagan, and he was interested in the idea of teaching her about the gods he was worshiping at the time. After that, he slowly started turning the idea into sex magic.
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Yes, it was another man who was Blaigan.
In the pagan community, there are a lot of men who use paganism as an excuse to strip women, or as an excuse to cheat, or just as an excuse to use women.
Unfortunately, having spent time with many Pagans, I have noticed that this is incredibly common. It’s too bad that some pagan festivals have blacklists due to sexual predators who use spirituality as a cover to prey on people.
In some spiritual circles, even those that are not pagan, this is the rule rather than the exception to the rule. After all, Catholic sex scandals, Christian priests preying on girls, and starting your religion to get sex happen.
Many people wonder why gender and religion can come together in this, and how this happens. Here’s the sad truth: Religion and spirituality are the two areas that make it so easy to deceive people. If you think about it, there are a lot of approaches that are more effective in religious settings than in atheist groups.
This is why it is common to see sexual abuse in faith:
- Shame
A frightening number of religions use shame as a way to get people to “fall into line,” and the reason this works is that humans are naturally predisposed to hate shame. This is why “Catholic guilt” is real. If someone keeps shaming us, we automatically assume we’re bad people, and we don’t want to be bad people, right? Of course not.
Fortunately, it so happens that this religious leader can cleanse you and teach you how to become a better person. When you think about it, it’s not surprising that so many people experience shame over sexual assault.
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- Community
Every religion has a community associated with it, and spiritual sexual predators use that to their advantage. They can get away with sexual violence by threatening to fire victims if they speak out. Or they can use a “bandwagon approach” and tell victims that this is exactly what everyone in the community must do “so that God will bless them.”
- Normalization
The scariest part about the community issue is that they can often turn communities in their way to get what they want. I’ve personally heard of predators telling women, “This is how sex magic works… What’s the matter? We’re not doing anything messy, are we?”
- Faith
This is the crux of the problem with many sexual predators: they use a person’s faith or desire to identify with faith against them. Because there is no concrete way to prove that they are blathering on about a belief, they use religion. They ask naive and trusting people to take a “leap of faith,” knowing full well that what they are asking the person to believe is not real at all.
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- Authority
There’s a reason why the news headlines always show church authorities abusing their partner. Being the person who says, “Are you going to challenge your religious leader?” Tempting to predators. Furthermore, people assume that people in power are moral and more ethical than others, even when they are not.
- Forgiveness
Here’s a chilling thought: Many abusers will choose religions knowing full well that they can get away with it if they get caught. Why? After some tears, they can talk about how “forgiveness is divine” and go on their merry way.
If you think about it, spirituality makes it easier for narcissists to get the attention and power they crave. Many sexual predators who use faith to gain access to and trust victims do so because they have a moderate god complex, and because they truly believe they are better than others. They believe they have the right to take advantage of vulnerable people as well as those seeking spiritual advice.
The funny thing about sexual predators who use spirituality or faith to get closer to victims is that they often act the same way.
They tend to be narcissists known for their charming behavior and often portray themselves as individuals with perfect morals. They are excellent showmen and have no problem using manipulative language to their advantage.
But there’s also this spiritual side to them. They may claim to be enlightened or personally influenced by the gods. In many cases, they will claim to speak to the gods or offer spiritual blessings that only they can provide. Sometimes, they’ll talk about how the typical rules “don’t apply to them,” or how a particular follower is “gifted” and needs coaching from him.
However, sometimes the only thing that indicates something is wrong is that weird, sticky feeling we get when we’re around someone insignificant. I’m not saying all clergy are predators, but I am saying to listen to your gut and watch. After all, false prophets are a dime a dozen.
Osiana Tiffenhart is a writer whose work has appeared in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory magazine, and more.
