The beginning of a relationship with a narcissist is often a happy one. The person showers you with attention and compliments, and you quickly become the center of their world.

This initial stage of the relationship, when the narcissist is most happy with you, is called the love bombing stage.

During this stage, the narcissist will shower you with compliments, convincing you that you are the perfect love in their life.

If the relationship continues, you will quickly learn that this stage does not last.

The love bombing will subside, and after a while, the narcissist may disappear. They previously maintained contact 24 hours a day, but now they are completely silent.

There are several reasons for this confusing behavior. We will delve into them below.

1 Pursuing Another Source

At the heart of narcissism is a need for excessive praise and admiration. The fragile ego of a narcissist relies on attention from others. Over time, your attention will no longer be enough, and they will become bored.

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If a narcissist who once showered you with attention goes silent, it is likely that they are giving their attention to other sources of supply.

If you’re unfamiliar with the term, narcissistic supply refers to the attention and flattery of a willing admirer.

When you’re not meeting their needs, the narcissist must look elsewhere for attention.

During periods of silence, they may browse online dating apps, chat with online sources of supply, or communicate with someone behind your back to boost their ego.

2 Manipulation

Narcissists are also known for a revealing move called breadcrumbing. This tactic involves intermittently showing you small bits of affection and then withdrawing a little.

By breadcrumbing, the narcissist is getting you hooked on small doses of affection. They’ll show you just enough love to keep you interested while disappearing from time to time.

Withdrawing affection creates a kind of push-pull dynamic. You’ll feel insecure, depending on the narcissist to “throw you some breadcrumbs” of affection.

While you wait for them to return, you’ll work harder to please them so you can earn some of their time and attention back.

This works well for the narcissist because it puts you exactly where they want you. You continue to care for their needs while they offer you minimal support and attention.

Breadcrumbs can also be a cunning way for the narcissist to keep you in the rotation of their love interests. If they pass you around with sporadic attention, you’ll always be available when they need you.

3 Punishment

The narcissist may also use the silent treatment to punish you when you somehow fail to comply with their demands.

If you don’t answer their call, or aren’t available when they need a favor, this can create anger. Silence allows them to punish you for your mistakes.

The narcissist may also use silence as punishment if you say something that hurts their feelings. Maybe you disagreed with them or told them that something they did was wrong.

By giving the silent treatment, the narcissist believes he is teaching you a lesson.

Since he is punishing you with silence, you will learn not to repeat the behavior that led to his withdrawal. He may even go so far as to block you from contacting him, knowing that this will hurt you.

4 Avoiding Accountability

If you confront the narcissist about a mistake or catch him in the act, he will likely disappear for a while. Narcissists have a very difficult time accepting any kind of accountability for a mistake.

To maintain their fragile ego, narcissists must view themselves as superior. Being confronted about something they did wrong provides evidence that they are not perfect and causes their ego to crumble.

Instead of taking responsibility, they will remain silent and distance themselves from you. This allows them to avoid the guilt and pain that comes with taking responsibility.

Withdrawal also allows the narcissist to maintain a measure of control. They hope that by remaining silent, you will be forced to reach out to them. Once you finally do, they will feel like they have the upper hand.

5 Asserting Dominance

Narcissists see themselves as superior, and they thrive on maintaining a sense of power and control over their victims. Control reinforces the narcissist’s belief that they are superior to those around them.

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So, the narcissist may remain silent to remind you that they are in control. All they have to do is communicate with you on their terms, and they don’t mind keeping you waiting.

Giving you the silent treatment will certainly leave you feeling confused and anxious. The narcissist loves to have this effect on you. As long as their behavior affects you, they maintain control and will get what they want with you.

6 Getting Attention

Finally, the narcissist may remain silent to see how you respond. They hope that you will reach out and beg for contact. This gives the narcissist the attention they crave, and they will enjoy watching you beg.

When you break the silence, the narcissist’s ego is inflated because you’re showing him that he’s worth your effort.

He may even get entertainment and satisfaction from watching you crawl back every time he ignores you.

It’s all just part of the narcissist’s game, designed to feed his ego and reinforce his belief that he’s superior. Ultimately, he sees you as pathetic, ready to chase him down every time he backs down, but he still loves the attention.

How to Deal with Silence?

Knowing the best way to deal with it is helpful if you’re dealing with the silent treatment.

You may be tempted to reach out to the narcissist to find out what the problem is, but that’s probably not the best option. Once you reach out, the narcissist will know he’s won, and he’ll maintain control over you.

Related : 9 Ways To Stop Attracting Narcissists

Instead of reaching out, focus on yourself. Pour your time and energy into self-care and pursuing your hobbies. If the narcissist does reach out to you, don’t give him the attention or admiration he’s looking for.

Set boundaries around this behavior, and communicate that you won’t accept a relationship where he repeatedly ignores you.

Don’t be disappointed if the narcissist refuses to change; They don’t care about your feelings or needs, even if they pretend to.

When you’re tempted to reach out and end the silent treatment, remind yourself who the narcissist is and why they’re acting this way.

Narcissists use the silent treatment to control, manipulate, and punish. They may also reach out to other people while leaving you to read.

Whatever you do, don’t blame yourself or take responsibility for the narcissist’s behavior.

They use the silent treatment because they’re troubled, not because you’ve done anything wrong. You need to protect yourself from people who exhibit these traits.