- Don’t let the narcissist in your life define you. You only define yourself. Narcissists are great at telling you who you are, and in a way that is not favorable, I might add. Refuse to accept any definition the narcissist offers you; Whether it’s about your looks, personality, intelligence, anything. Instead, make a concerted effort to introduce yourself. Narcissists tend to project and companions of narcissists tend to present. this means; Whatever the narcissist is, believes or states that the other person is that way (lazy, selfish, foolish with money, negative thing), and the narcissistic partner tends to internalize all of these definitions. Learn to see yourself in a positive light, without the negativity.
- Stop giving away your power. Don’t let someone else be responsible for your choices, feelings, or thoughts. Even if other people’s behaviors are intimidating, don’t act on those feelings of intimidation. In order to regain your personal power, you must have a plan of action when the narcissist tries to control you. You have to see yourself as a strong and independent person. Remind yourself that the only way to stop giving away your power is to stand firm and hold on to it.
- Be honest with yourself. I realize that it is difficult for a narcissist’s partner to do this, but make all decisions about your life based on what is best for you. Don’t even think about what’s best for the narcissist. The narcissist’s communication pattern up to this point has revolved around what he wants, asks, needs, etc., without caring about what she wants or needs. In order to change this unhealthy pattern, start thinking about what is best for you and then do it. Sure, you will face repercussions and resistance. Expect the worst. But, in order to recover from narcissistic abuse and grow into a healthier you, you must stand strong against rejection.
- Keep finances separate. Narcissists either like to control your spending or spend all the money. Either way, it’s not good for you. All you have to do is make the decision to separate your money. This way, your narcissist is only responsible for his own money, and you are only responsible for yours. If you’re a stay-at-home parent, open a separate checking and savings account and figure out a way to be financially independent. Even if you are not the breadwinner, you still have the right to receive income. You have the right to participate in the decision-making process and to control how money is spent.
- Stop talking to walls. When your narcissist decides to give you the silent treatment or hold you back, you stop making any effort to connect with that person; Instead, do something for yourself. Talked with a friend. He goes for a walk. Do something with your children. If, once again, you find yourself trying to convince someone who doesn’t care about what you have to say, stop. Tell yourself that you will no longer talk to the wall. Stay away and take care of yourself. What your partner is doing is offensive and hurtful. If you need to express your feelings about this, call a friend or write in your journal. Do something healthy to process your feelings.
- Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated. Manipulation can be very covert. Your manipulator may use fear, obligation, guilt (FOG), or another covert (or even overt) strategy. Some manipulators act innocently. This is a very effective strategy. In order to stop allowing yourself to be manipulated, find out what your specific partners are going for, write them down, and be aware of them. When you notice that you have been drawn into the narcissist’s web, stop. Tell yourself the slogan, observe, do not absorb. Give yourself a pep talk, and remind yourself that just because you’ve been invited to participate in this exchange, you don’t have to accept the invitation. Practice saying “no.” He pulled away.
- Be happy. Don’t allow anyone to steal your joy. Narcissists are very miserable and love to spread misery into the atmosphere. Be aware of this reality and make a conscious effort to contain your emotions. Work on finding things to be grateful for.
- Focus on yourself. You can’t change anyone but yourself, so stop trying. Don’t waste another minute of your precious life trying to convince someone else to see you, care about you, validate you, or love you better. Instead, learn how to deal with the disappointment you feel from being in a relationship that is so painful and one-sided. Even though your partner rejects you, make sure you don’t reject yourself.
- Don’t defend yourself. Narcissists like to put you on the defensive. They attack you and push your buttons. When you notice yourself feeling defensive, stop, take a deep breath, remind yourself that you have done nothing wrong, and refuse to defend yourself. The other person enjoys watching you feel bad about yourself. The other person thinks you are bad and wants to convince you of this fact. He or she spends all his or her mental energy judging you and differentiating your supposed bad qualities. This is because it puts him in the lead position, believing that he is in the top role to judge you. These behaviors can continue for the duration of your relationship. Remind yourself of this reality and walk away and refuse to participate in this dynamic.
- Stop imitating the narcissist. Have you noticed that the abuser in your life brings out the worst in you? This is because as human beings, we mirror each other. When you start behaving horribly, screaming, and expressing contempt and anger at your partner, it is because he or she is a mirror and you are reflecting the other person’s inner chaos. Be aware that you have turned into a carbon copy of the person who abused you. It is natural for us to become like those with whom we are. You will need to fight this tendency and observe your behavior. If you see that you are developing in yourself personality traits such as that you hate the spirit of criticism, revenge, outbursts of anger, contempt, contempt, intolerance, etc., you will need to make a conscious choice to stop yourself. You will need to build resistance muscles. The way you can do this is to educate yourself on the concept of reflection, projection and insertion. People mirror each other by mirroring each other’s behaviors. When the narcissist projects certain traits onto you, you internalize or internalize them. This makes particular sense in light of the fact that most narcissists are empaths, and empaths tend to act like a sponge when it comes to the behaviors and emotions of others.
- Stay steadfast. When you set boundaries against a narcissist, you will be abused. The narcissist will interpret your boundaries as narcissistic injury. Declaring your independence will be met with dire consequences. Basically, you are in a battle for yourself. In order not to suffer these consequences from your partner, you will have to sacrifice your personal identity. This is unacceptable and harmful. In order to withstand the retaliation you will experience as a result of setting firm boundaries with your narcissist, you must remain strong and resilient. Don’t give up on yourself, ever.
