Do you believe in love at first sight? The following article raises a very poignant question. Is love at first sight real? According to this post, it isn’t! It’s our minds playing a trick on us! So, why is love at first sight not real?
History is full of examples of lovers who claimed to have fallen in love at first sight. This may have happened to you – upon seeing a mysterious, magnetic stranger across the room, you feel irresistibly drawn to that person. You may have to start a conversation that will last all night.
By morning, you are sure that you have found your soul mate. Or maybe you fail to seize the moment, and your mysterious stranger disappears into the crowd, lost to you forever.
However, you cannot get this person, whose name you do not know, out of your mind. Obviously, “falling in love at first sight” is not uncommon. But what exactly is going on?
Is love at first sight real? Can you fall in love with someone you’ve never met or are other forces at work instead? Here are 4 dynamics that may be working under the surface of what we mean when we say “love at first sight.”
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What causes love at first sight? 4 things that trick your mind
Let’s find out what love at first sight is and why it’s not real!
- Gravity acts as a powerful motivator
Attraction is one of the building blocks of love. Although some people develop attraction later, after they’ve been friends for a while, the majority of romantic relationships begin with attraction. It’s what draws you to get to know someone new, and what fuels the emotional early days of a relationship.
You feel like you’re falling in love because you’re affected by something about that person, like their looks or their perfume. While there is no doubt that attraction can pave the way for love, it is not love. Love requires two additional factors (intimacy and commitment) that can only develop over time.
If you take the phrase “falling in love” at face value, maybe it’s possible. You “fall” at the beginning of something that could end up with the potential to continue.
- Acquaintances that develop even before an actual in-person meeting
In many cases, the words “at first sight” are somewhat of a misnomer. People claim to have fallen in love at first sight with people they already know casually.
You may have seen the person a few times at a bar you frequent, or they are a friend of a friend. Even if you have never laid eyes on the person before, it is unlikely that you will fall in love at the moment of first viewing. It is more likely that you will use this term retrospectively after a successful first conversation.
In this case, you do not fall in love at first sight, but after a while, no matter how short, of acquaintance.
Common types of dating that people fall in love with include, but are not limited to:
Perception: Their thoughts and beliefs expressed
Touch: their touch
Kinesthetic: their movements
Hearing: the sound of their voices
Smell: the way it smells
These are the upper level attractors. You feel like you’re falling in love, and your primal brain’s reward systems—not logic—make the decisions.
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- Metaphysical connections can be probabilistic
According to some metaphysical belief systems, souls are divided when they descend from heaven to earth. When these twin souls meet on Earth, it is a reunion rather than an entirely new meeting.
Thus, falling in “love at first sight” could actually refer to this kind of metaphysical reunion. Other belief systems do not account for twin souls but allow for soul mates, or romantic partners who fit together perfectly.
Some believe that we only have one soul mate in a lifetime, while others believe that there are many. Some even believe that we are reincarnated over multiple periods with the same small group of souls, who play different roles in each life.
Even if you believe in such metaphysical claims, they still fail to define love at first sight. Under these belief systems, you may see a person’s physical body in this life for the first time, but you have already been deeply acquainted with the person’s soul.
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- Various definitions of love
Depending on the semantics, you could argue that the underpinnings of what would become love can develop at first sight, or you could say that because love takes time, it cannot happen.
We can’t deny what some people say they experience. Their reward and drive systems may activate immediately, directing them towards a person as soon as they see them.
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