Happiness is a choice, not an outcome. It’s something you actively pursue, not something that just happens to you.

When we prioritize our happiness, we consciously avoid certain behaviors that can drain our happiness and peace of mind. These are what I call “toxic behaviors.”

Now, avoiding these toxic behaviors isn’t always easy. But those who value their happiness have mastered the art of avoiding these pitfalls.

In this article, I’m going to share with you the 8 toxic behaviors that happy people avoid like the plague. Stick with me, and let’s journey toward a happier you.

1) Overthinking

We’ve all been there. Lying awake at night, replaying conversations in our heads, worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet, and obsessing over every little detail.

Welcome to the world of overthinking.

Overthinking is a toxic behavior that can seriously drain your happiness. It’s like a hamster wheel of thoughts that keeps spinning, preventing you from moving forward.

Happy people know this, and they intentionally avoid falling into this trap. They realize that dwelling on problems doesn’t solve them, it just makes them bigger.

Instead, they focus on the things they can control and let go of the things they can’t. They have confidence in their ability to handle whatever comes their way, and they trust that everything will work out in the end.

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So if you want to prioritize your happiness, the first toxic behavior to eliminate is overthinking. It’s easier said than done, but remember: it’s the first step to your happiness.

2) Holding onto grudges

I remember a time when someone close to me did something that really hurt my feelings. I was angry, upset, and felt betrayed. For a while, I held onto that grudge tightly, like a security blanket of resentment.

But then I realized something. This grudge wasn’t hurting the person who wronged me. It was just hurting me. It was draining my energy, my peace, and most importantly, my happiness.

That’s when I learned one of the most important lessons about happiness: Forgiving others doesn’t mean letting them off the hook. It means setting yourself free.

People who prioritize their own happiness understand this. They know that holding onto grudges is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. It just doesn’t work that way.

So they learn to let go. Not because the other person deserves forgiveness, but because they deserve peace.

So if you’re holding onto any grudges, it’s time to let go for your own good. Trust me—it’s a weight off your shoulders and a huge step toward prioritizing your own happiness.

3) Neglecting Self-Care

Self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. It’s about taking time to recharge your batteries and take care of your physical, mental, and emotional health.

In the constant hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to forget to take care of ourselves. We tend to put the needs of others before our own, often to the point of burnout.

Interestingly, the World Health Organization now recognizes burnout as an official medical diagnosis. It’s described as a syndrome that results from chronic work stress that has not been successfully managed.

People who prioritize their happiness avoid this toxic habit of neglecting self-care. They understand that in order to care for others, they first need to care for themselves.

So if you find yourself constantly feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or exhausted, it’s time to hit the pause button and take some time for yourself. Remember, self-care isn’t selfish — it’s essential to your happiness.

4) Comparing Themselves to Others

In the age of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. We look at people’s high-flying snapshots and start to feel inadequate about our lives.

People who prioritize their happiness understand that it’s best not to get caught up in this comparison game. They understand that each person is on their own unique journey, with their own set of challenges and triumphs.

Instead of comparing themselves to others, they focus on their own personal progress. They celebrate their victories, no matter how small, and use their setbacks as opportunities for growth.

So the next time you find yourself comparing your life to someone else’s, remember that you’re only seeing a small part of their reality. Focus on your own path and your own happiness, because that’s what really matters in the end.

5) Ignore Their Feelings

Emotions are part of the human experience. They’re neither good nor bad, they’re just feelings. Yet, often times, we try to ignore or suppress our feelings, especially difficult ones like sadness, anger, or fear.

But ignoring our feelings is like trying to catch a beach ball underwater—it takes a lot of effort and eventually, they’ll come back up.

People who prioritize their happiness understand the importance of acknowledging and processing their feelings. They know that it’s okay not to be okay all the time. They allow themselves to feel their feelings, sit with them, and make sense of them.

They recognize that every emotion serves a purpose and offers a valuable lesson. By embracing their feelings instead of ignoring them, they’re able to heal, grow, and ultimately, find greater happiness.

So remember this: It’s okay to feel your feelings. Don’t ignore it, because it’s trying to tell you something. Let it in, learn from it, and then let it go. This is an essential step toward prioritizing your happiness.

6) Striving for Perfection

There was a time when I believed that in order to be successful or loved, I needed to be perfect. I put enormous pressure on myself to meet these impossible standards, and when I inevitably failed, I punished myself for it.

Striving for perfection is a toxic behavior that many of us fall into. It’s a vicious cycle that leaves us constantly feeling dissatisfied and unhappy.

But the truth is that perfection doesn’t exist. We’re all human, and we all make mistakes. People who prioritize their happiness understand this. They strive for progress, not perfection.

They focus on their growth and their journey, realizing that every misstep is an opportunity to learn and improve. They are kind to themselves when they stumble, and they celebrate their efforts, not just their results.

So if you find yourself striving for perfection, take a step back and be kind to yourself. You are enough, just the way you are. This is not entirely complete.

7) Living in the past or future

Have you ever noticed how much time we spend thinking about past mistakes or worrying about future problems? This habit of constantly living in the past or future can rob us of our present happiness.

People who prioritize their happiness avoid this toxic behavior. They realize that the past is a place of reference, not a place of residence, and that the future is full of uncertainty.

Instead, they choose to live in the present moment. They fully engage with what is happening now, enjoy their experiences, and find joy in each day.

Remember that yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present. So, make the most of this opportunity and focus on finding happiness in the present.

8) Surrounding Yourself with Negativity

The company we keep plays a major role in our happiness. If we surround ourselves with negative people, it’s easy to be influenced by their pessimistic outlook.

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People who prioritize their happiness are selective about who they allow into their lives. They choose to spend time with positive, encouraging individuals who encourage their growth and happiness.

So, take a look at your circle. If there is negativity, it’s time for a change. Surround yourself with positivity for a happier, more fulfilling life. There’s nothing more important than that when it comes to your happiness.

Final Thought: It’s in Our Hands

The beauty of our human experience lies in our ability to shape and mold it as we see fit. This is especially true when it comes to our happiness.

American writer and philosopher Henry David Thoreau once said, “Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit quietly on your shoulder.”

Fundamentally, happiness isn’t something we acquire or achieve. It’s something we cultivate by creating a life that aligns with our values ​​and desires.

When we consciously avoid toxic behaviors, we’re not just enhancing our happiness. We’re creating space for peace, growth, and fulfillment.

So, as you journey through life, remember these toxic behaviors and make an active choice to avoid them. Choose happiness. After all, it’s in your hands.