Are you noticing a change in your relationship? Do things feel “off” or like your partner (or you) is no longer doing well? Are you wondering if it’s impossible to be happy?
You’re in good company, if not entirely good. Research suggests that nearly half (40%) of people in relationships feel unhappy at times during their relationship.
So yes, this is very common. It’s good to know that not feeling happy every minute is normal, even in a great relationship.
So while it’s perfectly normal to feel dissatisfied with your relationship at times, you still need to commit to making the effort to improve your relationship or end it.
Many people recoil at the thought of ending a relationship, especially if it’s been a long-term one. My grandmother always said that the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.
Fear of a breakup can be the result of many factors, but low self-esteem definitely plays a role. Someone who’s considering ending a relationship may fear that they’ll never find a new partner.
People often stay in subpar relationships because they fear the inevitable pain that comes after a breakup. I don’t know about you, but some of the worst times in my life have been after a breakup. It’s a low, and who would willingly subject themselves to that?
Some people panic at the thought of being alone or hurting their partner’s feelings, while others fear that ending the relationship will mean having to leave their comfort zone and venture into the unknown.
Here are some behavioral signs that your relationship has run its course.
1) You’d rather spend time with anyone but your partner
We know it’s important to make time for your loved ones outside of your relationship. This keeps you whole and balanced.
But it can become a problem if you choose to spend time with your friends or family instead of your partner every time.
Think about this:
When you finally get that promotion or find fifty dollars in your coat pocket, who is the first person you want to call?
If you’re in a healthy partnership, I’m willing to bet it’s your partner. If not, you might want to ask yourself why.
If you’ve been relying on your mom or best friend for emotional support around your partner, this is also a red flag.
It seems like sharing your deepest feelings and being vulnerable with your partner is no longer your first choice.
Maybe you no longer feel safe doing so?
This is definitely a sign for you to let it slide.
2) Date night? Any date night?
Remember when you and your partner were new couples and found a way to squeeze time together no matter what?
If you’re no longer prioritizing quality time together, this could be a sign that you’re drifting apart.
Healthy, happy relationships require a lot of work. When something or someone means a lot to you, you put in the effort to nurture and protect them.
When it no longer seems worth the effort, your relationship loses value to you.
When date nights become a thing of the past or when your partner always finds a reason to work late (or vice versa), it could be a death knell for your union.
Being “busy” is a classic way to escape and avoid unwanted intimacy. You hope that things will magically fix themselves and push the issue to the back burner until it becomes too big to ignore.
3) Living separate lives
If you’re part of a couple, your lives should be intertwined. But if your life and your partner’s don’t intersect in any significant way anymore, one of you is probably unhappy.
If you’re in a committed relationship, you can’t just go your separate ways and expect your partner to meet you on the road at any time.
That’s what’s called being friends, or single. And even then, it’s still pretty selfish.
You don’t need to spend all your free time together. It’s healthy for a couple to have separate interests.
But you should always feel like you’re an essential part of your partner’s life and act like one.
Can you tell the class what your partner has been up to in the last 24 hours, even when you’re not together?
People in healthy relationships are keen to check in with each other and share the nitty-gritty details of their day, express their feelings, or just say, “I’m thinking of you.”
So if you’re not aware of what they’re doing when you’re not around and don’t really care, it’s time to reevaluate the state of your union.
4) Ignoring
Ignoring is a term used to describe when one partner stops responding to the other. They will ignore you, ignore you, and act as if you don’t exist.
Ignoring can be interpreted as an attempt to control the narrative, as the ignoring partner prevents any further discussion of the matter at hand by emotionally detaching.
Usually, when a person reaches this point, they are completely exhausted from stress, and ignoring is their way of avoiding exhaustion.
And the person receiving the ignoring? They feel unloved and unheard.
This is not an ideal situation, to say the least.
5) You Take Things For Granted
When you’re in a serious relationship, you do a lot for your partner—and they feel the same way. Feeling appreciated is a crucial aspect of a successful partnership.
And being taken for granted is horrible.
RELATED:If you recognize these 7 behaviors in someone, you might be dealing with a dark empath
When gratitude hits the dark old road, you stop thanking each other for everything they do and acknowledging your partner’s efforts.
So why bother doing the things you hope your partner will like if they don’t appreciate them? This thought process often leads to a never-ending cycle of resentment.
6) You’re Jealous of Your Single Friends
Perhaps you were once jealous of your single friends. You longed for the intimacy and security of a serious relationship.
Until you got into a serious relationship and eventually became restless.
Whether you’re yearning for the excitement of your dating days you find yourself living vicariously through your single friends’ adventures, or you have reason to believe that your partner does, pay attention.
7) Disrespect
Respect is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Without mutual respect in your relationship, you’ll have nothing.
When your partner loses respect for you and expresses it through verbal or physical abuse or engaging in activities that could be described as shady, it’s time to assess the situation and decide whether your relationship is still serving you, or even if it’s safe.
8) You’re Picking Fights
If you’re fighting so hard over petty issues, you can bet there’s something more important going on beneath the surface.
If you and your partner are arguing vehemently about which shelf the peanut butter should be on, you might want to consider whether your disagreements are more than just organizational disagreements.
Intentionally picking fights is a surefire way to create space between you. Anything to avoid interaction.
If you’re used to this, it’s time to have a heart-to-heart with your partner. Do you want to make your breakup official, or do you want to do the work necessary to save your relationship?
9) Sex is Just a Memory
Sex doesn’t always mean intimacy, but in a committed relationship, it’s a way for couples to show their love and longing for each other.
If a couple isn’t having sex, it could be a sign that they’re not comfortable or satisfied with being intimate with each other.
Whether it’s because of a lack of sexual satisfaction in the relationship or because there’s no emotional connection anymore.
Let me add that a sexless marriage works, but only if both parties are genuinely on the same page.
10) Someone Has Taste
Are you? Be honest.
If he stops smiling when you’re around (or vice versa, of course), stops showing you affection, or is just generally grumpy and stressed, then one of them is unhappy.
Is it one of you or both of you? And what do you want to do about it? That’s what you should figure out.
Final Thoughts
Most relationships go through ups and downs, and that’s perfectly normal. Temporary lapses in enthusiasm don’t mean that something is wrong.
