Social interactions aren’t always obvious, and for some people, social awkwardness can go unnoticed—even to them.
It’s hard to pinpoint what truly constitutes “awkwardness”—but somehow we know it when we see it.
It could be that a conversation has come to a sudden, abrupt halt, or that people wanted to say something but couldn’t because the atmosphere was too tense.
Most of us sense this through our social sense when things get a little awkward, but not everyone does.
In this article, we’ll discuss 8 behaviors that socially awkward people typically exhibit—and often don’t notice.
1) Overthinking Conversations
One of the most common traits of socially awkward people is that they unconsciously overthink social interactions.
We’ve all replayed conversations in our heads, wishing we’d said something differently or wondering if our jokes landed right. But for some people, this self-analysis becomes a constant, consuming part of their social lives.
They find themselves analyzing every word and gesture, questioning their social competence. It’s like they have a critic in their head, constantly critiquing their performance.
What they don’t realize is that this hyper-self-awareness can make them seem awkward to others. It can lead to awkward conversations and strained relationships.
It also makes you feel worse!
The irony is that by trying so hard to avoid awkwardness, they may inadvertently come across as awkward.
2) Misreading Social Cues
Another sign that people may be socially awkward without realizing it is their difficulty interpreting social cues.
For example, I remember a time when I was at a friend’s party. There was a guy there who didn’t understand when it was his turn to speak in a conversation. He would either interrupt others mid-sentence or wait too long to respond, creating uncomfortable silences.
In groups, he seemed to struggle to know when to step in and when to listen. He often missed the natural ebb and flow of conversation.
At first, I thought he was being rude or disinterested. But after watching him closely, I realized that he was just ignoring his awkward timing.
Conversation is an art, but for some people, it’s a complete mystery.
3) Struggling to Make Eye Contact
Eye contact plays a crucial role in human communication. It’s a nonverbal way of showing interest and respect. However, socially awkward individuals often struggle with this aspect of interaction.
Some avoid eye contact altogether, which can come across as disinterested or shy. Others may maintain a level of eye contact that comes across as intrusive or intense, making the other person uncomfortable.
Interestingly, studies have found that people generally like you more if you maintain an ideal amount of eye contact, which is around 30-60% of a conversation.
People who fall short or exceed this range may appear socially awkward without realizing it. This subtle behavior reflects their struggle to navigate the nuanced world of social interaction.
4) Excessive Apologizing
People who are socially awkward but often don’t realize it tend to say “sorry” a lot. This can be for the simplest things, like bumping into someone or even when someone else bumps into them.
This excessive apology stems from a deep-rooted fear of offending or upsetting others. They may feel like they’re constantly getting in their way or doing something wrong, even when it’s far from the truth.
Constant apologies, while polite, can create awkward social dynamics. The other person may feel compelled to constantly reassure them or may become annoyed by unnecessary apologies.
5) Fear of Rejection
At the heart of many awkward social behaviors is the fear of rejection. This fear can be so overwhelming that it affects how people interact with others, often in ways they don’t fully understand.
They may refrain from participating in conversations, avoid social events, or hesitate to share their opinions. They may laugh out loud at jokes they don’t find funny or agree with statements they don’t believe in, all in an attempt to fit in.
This fear of rejection can lead to being overly cautious and reserved in social situations. It’s a defense mechanism, designed to prevent potential embarrassment or judgment. But it can also prevent real communication and make them seem socially awkward.
Understanding this fear is key to recognizing and addressing these subtle behaviors. It’s a journey that requires compassion, both for oneself and for others who may be struggling with the same issues.
6) Difficulty engaging in small talk
Small talk is an art that not everyone has mastered. It’s a social lubricant that helps break the ice and build rapport. But for some, it can be a real challenge.
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I remember being on social media surrounded by people chatting effortlessly about the weather, weekend plans, or the latest movies. But for me, it was a minefield. I was worried I’d say something stupid or run out of things to talk about.
I often found myself resorting to asking a series of questions, turning casual conversations into interrogations. Or worse, I’d retreat into silence, unsure how to contribute meaningfully to the conversation.
This difficulty with small talk is a common trait among those who struggle with social awkwardness but don’t realize it. They may excel at deep, meaningful conversations but struggle with the lighthearted, spontaneous banter that forms the backbone of many social interactions.
7) Discomfort with physical touch
Physical touch, such as a pat on the back or a friendly hug, is a common part of human interaction. But for those who struggle with social awkwardness without realizing it, this aspect of social etiquette can be a challenge.
Some people simply don’t like physical touch.
They may tremble or stiffen when someone hugs them or feel unsure about when it’s appropriate to shake hands. Others often pick up on this discomfort, adding awkward tension to their interactions.
They may also have difficulty understanding personal boundaries and may stand too close or too far away from others during conversations.
Being aware of and respecting these boundaries is crucial to comfortable social interaction. Those who experience this are often seen as socially awkward, even if they don’t realize it themselves.
8) Persistent Feelings of Not Belonging
Above all, a common thread among those who experience social awkwardness but don’t realize it is an all-encompassing feeling of not belonging.
They may feel like they’re always on the outside looking in, never fitting into the social fabric around them. It’s as if they’re marching to a different drum, unable to sync with the rhythm of those around them.
This internal sense of disconnection can manifest itself in various subtle behaviors and social missteps, further highlighting their awkwardness.
Everyone has moments when they feel out of place. It’s part of being human. The key is to embrace our unique rhythm and find those who appreciate it, rather than trying to fit into a mold that doesn’t fit us.
The Heart of the Matter: Empathy
Ultimately, we’re bound to encounter people who struggle with basic social interactions.
It’s a big world, and if we’re always meeting new people, there’s no way around it.
Most importantly, realize that they’re not doing it out of spite—they wish they weren’t either.
Instead of getting frustrated with these people, use it as an opportunity to practice your patience and fuel your personal growth.
In other words, let empathy guide you.
