There’s a fine line between being self-interested and being downright selfish.
The line blurs when your actions consistently benefit you, regardless of how they impact others.
Extremely selfish people often don’t even realize they’re exhibiting these behaviors. They’re just doing what they think is best for them, without realizing how their actions impact the people around them.
We’re going to go through ten common behaviors among extremely selfish individuals.
Let’s get started.
1) Ego-First Mentality
If there’s one thing extremely selfish individuals often exhibit, it’s an “ego-first” mentality.
This is the constant need to put their needs and wants before those of others. They’re always first, always getting the last slice of pizza, and always having the best seat in the house.
They’re not necessarily trying to hurt others. It may not even occur to them that their actions might be causing inconvenience or discomfort to those around them.
However, constantly prioritizing their own needs over others is a clear sign of deep-seated selfishness. And they often ignore it entirely.
2) Lack of Empathy
Another behavior that is often seen in highly selfish people is a lack of empathy.
I remember an ex-girlfriend who often prioritized her feelings and experiences over those of others. For example, one time during a group outing, another friend was talking about her recent breakup. She was upset and in need of emotional support.
Instead of offering comfort or even just listening, my ex-girlfriend quickly turned the conversation to her relationship issues. It seemed like she was more interested in getting attention and sympathy than empathizing with our distressed friend.
The inability to empathize with others, and to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, is a common trait of highly selfish people. They struggle to see beyond their perspective and often fail to recognize or validate the feelings of others.
3) Ignoring Boundaries
One common behavior of highly selfish people is that they often do not respect personal boundaries. Whether it’s physical space, personal possessions, or even time, they tend to encroach on others’ boundaries without thinking twice.
This could be as simple as taking someone’s food without asking, borrowing things without returning them, or repeatedly showing up late—all signs of disregarding other people’s boundaries.
This blatant disregard for personal space or possessions is not only annoying, but it also points to a deeper issue: a lack of consideration for other people’s feelings and comfort.
4) Difficulty Sharing
Self-centered individuals often have difficulty sharing, whether it’s material things, time, or even emotional space. They tend to hoard resources for themselves and are reluctant to divide their possessions or time equally among others.
For example, you might notice that when eating out with friends, a selfish person is reluctant to share their food. Or at work, they might be reluctant to share credit for a project they worked on with others.
This difficulty in sharing indicates a deeply ingrained selfishness. They value their satisfaction and comfort above the feelings of others, a clear sign of a highly selfish person.
5) Neglecting the Needs of Others
Highly selfish people often neglect the needs of those around them. They focus so much on their desires and comfort that they ignore or disregard what others may need or want.
For example, a selfish person might choose a movie to watch without asking for others’ opinions, or they might make plans that fit their schedule without considering whether it will suit everyone else.
This disregard for the needs and preferences of others is a clear sign of deep-rooted selfishness. They are more concerned with satisfying their desires than ensuring everyone’s comfort and happiness.
6) Unwillingness to Compromise
In any relationship, whether it’s with friends, family, or a romantic partner, compromise is key. It’s about finding common ground so that each party feels valued and heard.
However, selfish individuals often struggle greatly with this concept. They are unwilling to give up their desires or comfort for the sake of others. They prefer to stick to what they want, even if it means creating conflict or inconvenience.
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Being unwilling to compromise can be very distressing. It can make those around them feel unimportant and neglected as if their feelings and needs don’t matter. It’s a clear sign of deep-rooted selfishness that can damage relationships and affect bonds.
7) Frequent Interruptions
A behavior I’ve observed in highly selfish individuals is their tendency to frequently interrupt others during conversations. This constant need to be heard rather than others often stems from their belief that what they have to say is more important.
I can remember countless instances where I’ve been in conversations with such individuals, and it feels like you’re struggling to get a word in. They’ll cut you off mid-sentence to share their thoughts or experiences, often ignoring what you were saying.
Not only does this frequent interruption disrupt the flow of the conversation, it also shows a lack of respect for the thoughts and feelings of others. It speaks volumes about their selfish nature and their disregard for others.
8) Oversharing
It may sound strange, but highly selfish people often share too much. You’d think they’d keep everything to themselves, right? But no, they are usually the ones who dominate the conversation with stories about their experiences, accomplishments, or problems.
While sharing is part of healthy communication, oversharing to the point that others feel marginalized or overwhelmed can be a sign of selfishness. They want the spotlight on them, their lives, and their stories, ignoring whether others might want to share or even feel comfortable with such an information overload.
This behavior subtly reflects their need for attention and their lack of consideration for others’ comfort or interest in the conversation.
9) Always Playing the Victim
A common behavior among highly selfish individuals is their tendency to always play the victim. They have a knack for turning situations around to make themselves appear as the wronged party, even when they are wrong.
For example, if there is a disagreement or argument, they will often twist the narrative to make it seem like they have been wronged or misunderstood. This allows them to evade responsibility and gain sympathy, even when it is not deserved.
Constantly playing the victim is a manipulative tactic that reflects their selfish need to always be right and receive attention and sympathy. It is a clear sign of deep-rooted selfishness.
10) Lack of Gratitude
Perhaps the most obvious sign of deep-rooted selfishness is a lack of gratitude. Selfish individuals often take the efforts and kindness of others for granted. They are so immersed in their world that they rarely take the time to appreciate what others do for them.
Whether it is a simple favor, a thoughtful gift, or ongoing support, the actions of others often go unnoticed or unappreciated by selfish individuals. They expect others to be there for them, to meet their needs without expecting any appreciation or gratitude in return.
This lack of appreciation not only hurts those around them but also reveals a deep level of selfishness that goes beyond mere thoughtlessness. It is a disregard for the values and feelings of others that are deeply ingrained in their character.
Final Thoughts: It’s All About Understanding
Understanding human behavior, especially deeply selfish behavior, is a complex journey. There is no one-size-fits-all explanation for why some people behave in such selfish ways.
While it is easy to respond with frustration or anger toward these individuals, remember that their behavior often stems from a lack of awareness rather than a deliberate intent to hurt others.
It is important to approach these individuals with empathy and understanding. Encourage open and honest conversations that can lead to self-awareness and potential behavioral changes.
Change does not happen overnight, and patience is key. Understanding the behaviors associated with deep selfishness can be the first step toward fostering healthy interactions and relationships.
In the wise words of Carl Jung, “To know your darkness is the best way to deal with the darkness of others.”
