The Course Method can be of great help when it comes to dealing with narcissists, their abuse, toxicity, and mind games.

Setting boundaries is an important part of all relationships. It becomes even more important—and potentially lifesaving—when you’re interacting with a sick narcissist. Those with self-love deficiency (SLD), a neologism for codependency, need to learn tools and strategies for setting boundaries, even to the point of breaking up with someone.

One of the most effective techniques for setting boundaries and breaking free from a pathological narcissist is the “course method.” It may seem like a simple turn of phrase, but “of course” are two little words that hold huge power.

Here we’ll look at the kind of work SLDs need to do before adding the Course Method to their toolkit. We will also discuss how it looks in practice and what are the benefits of this technology.

Related : How To Deal With A Narcissist

SLDs and pathological narcissists: relationship profiles
Before we get into the basics of the Course Method, we need to know who will benefit from it. This, along with other techniques in the 11-Stage Self-Love Recovery Therapy Program, is designed to provide freedom to those with Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD), who are in a relationship with a pathological narcissist.

Here are the main features of what their relationship might look like:

Lack of self-love (codependent) suffers from the addiction of a pathological narcissist. Pathological loneliness is the main withdrawal symptom after addiction is broken. They are triggered by the actions, words, and manipulation of the pathological narcissist, which keeps them powerless in the relationship.
The pathological narcissist uses control and manipulation to retain power in the relationship. They know what triggers a person with SLDD and are constantly looking to keep them impotent.
To break free from narcissistic abuse, a person with SLDD must go through several stages and build up an arsenal of tools to get there. Without effective tools and strategies, they will not willingly be able to kick their addiction.

The treatment program equips SLDs with the tools, techniques, and awareness so that they can intentionally set boundaries and break free from narcissistic abuse. Each new method is another “tool” in your “toolbelt” to draw when needed.

Building Blocks for Recovery: Where do we begin

The 11-phase Self-Love Recovery Therapy Program is designed to help people overcome generalized anxiety disorder and overcome narcissistic abuse. And while all stages are important to people with SLDD, stages VI and VII are especially important in terms of the “course method.”

These are the building blocks that will help you prepare to implement the Course Method.

Here is a summary of the two phases:

Stage 6: Prepare for the narcissistic storm. This is when someone with SLDD begins to learn all they can about the pathological narcissist. You take on the role of the observer, not the absorber, to see how they control you and create the environment to keep you powerless.
Stage 7: Setting boundaries in hostile environments. At this point, you are ready to take action. Based on the work you have already done; You can now set effective boundaries with a pathological narcissist. This is where the “course method” comes into play.
By working through the stages, you gain predictive awareness. This is when you understand exactly what is going on with the narcissist, the situation, and your reaction.

Predictive awareness is like a chess player who anticipates a few moves ahead of his opponent. They know the game well enough to know what’s going to happen next.

Predictive awareness goes hand in hand with the “notice, not suck” technique. Because you are working on your consciousness, you need to positively step away from the encounter and observe what is happening. You can activate the “notice don’t suck” mindset by:

Leverage your predictive awareness to assess common patterns in a situation.
Recognize the tricks, manipulation, and coercion that the narcissist will try on you.
Know your triggers and how you usually react in a situation.
Avoid acting in your old ways and stay neutral and detached from the current situation.
In short: the narcissist is trying to put you in the “wrestling ring” to fight, but you are only there as a spectator! With the “notice don’t suck” technique, you stay on the outside and retain your power and control of the situation.

Related: Healing From A Narcissistic Relationship – A Beginner’s Guide

“cycle method”
To create and uphold boundaries when dealing with a narcissist, you should use the “not suck” technique. Once you’re in that headspace, pull out this widget of two little words that make a stark difference — of course.

The “course method” is a way of talking to yourself when dealing with a narcissist. It is a form of self-talk that affirms what you know and enhances your ability to observe a situation rather than engage in it.

The narcissist is always trying to drag you into the “wrestling ring” to fight using their own methods – which you of course have defined through the development of predictive awareness. They use their weapon of “induced conversation” to lure you into their wrestling ring. Every time they interact with you using this method, you say to yourself, “Of course.”

The power of the “course method” in practice

These two words are so powerful because they confirm what you already know about the narcissist. It allows you to keep your power and not give it up. Instead of being turned on and energized by what they say, you stay in control.

The Course Method keeps you focused on noticing not sucking. You can stay out of the conversation instead of getting drawn into the fight.

In practical terms, the end goal of the “course method” is to remove yourself from the situation or to end the conversation. It’s not about engaging in the conversation any longer or making them upset, but getting out of the conversation.

Keep in mind that using the “course method” may make the situation funny. It’s very obvious what they’re doing, and you might even laugh at it! While this shows that you really have mastered the “notice don’t suck” technique, don’t laugh at that moment – it will only antagonize them and push you into their wrestling ring.

The “course method” is a way to stay in “observation mode,” or a healthy dissociation mode — you are physically present, but don’t allow your emotions to be caused by what is happening. This makes it a useful technology in the heat of the moment.

But beyond that, the Course Method is beneficial by strengthening what you have already learned and mastered. This empowers you to continue to fight for freedom from narcissistic abuse. You will become more confident in your ability to predict their next move, but you will also be free from their manipulation.

You reserve your power when you can withdraw from the narcissist’s tactics. And from a place of strength, you set boundaries, let go of relationships, and heal yourself. From a place of strength begins your journey to an abundance of self-love.

Don’t hand over your power to a narcissist anymore! Stay an observer and use the Course Method to stay grounded and grounded in what you have learned and mastered.

Related: How Your Emotional Thinking Stops You From Seeing The True Nature Of A Narcissist

Conclusion

“Of course” is a simple, barely noticeable phrase. But these two words are very powerful. When dealing with a sick narcissist, they help you retain power. They keep you grounded in the moment as an observer, refusing to be moved by manipulation, coercion, and abuse.