A narcissist wants their home to represent their personality. Not their true self (that’s stupid!)—but the person they want you to think they are.

My question to you is:

If home is where the heart is, where is the narcissist’s home?

The home they want you to see on full display.

So, without further ado, take your shoes off at the front door, and I’ll show you their (humble) abode.

Home Is Sanctuary

It’s a place where we can all be ourselves, right?

Home is a place where we feel safe, secure, and relaxed. It shouldn’t be a place where we worry or relive painful memories.

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If you have a home like this, I applaud you for taking the time to give the environment where you spend most of your time the love it needs.

You’ll likely arrange it to suit your taste, but more importantly, it’s something to be lived in. Or, as I like to call it, it’s not perfect.

I don’t have the latest appliances. It doesn’t look like a show home. It’s a representation of real life, and that’s how it should be.

If you’re over-exerting yourself, you’re over-exerting yourself.

Oh, wait, this is already starting to make sense…

Perfection

This should be every narcissist’s middle name, right?

Narcissists strive for perfection from the moment they begin. There’s an overwhelming feeling that all narcissists have:

If I don’t build a perfect image of myself, one day someone will discover that I’m just an ordinary person, with an ordinary body, in an ordinary house, and with an ordinary salary.

They’ll discover that I don’t like myself, that I’m just a scared person hiding behind a roaring lion.

So what do they do? They have to live in an environment that reflects this perfection. A home that’s always perfect.

The fence is always freshly painted. The garden is always spotless. The curtains are always clean and in perfect order. All the modern appliances and sockets are scattered throughout the house.

Each room has its own character, organized in a way that emphasizes light and energy.

Would you like to borrow a blanket for a chilly evening? Choose from one of the 14 available, all clean, neatly folded, and made from a rare organic material.

Fancy a drink? How about choosing a glass from the extensive wine cellar or sipping coffee from a state-of-the-art machine that brews the perfect coffee at the perfect temperature, all in 15 seconds?

You get my point. A narcissist’s home has the potential for “Wow!” at every nook and cranny.

This is designed to boost the narcissist’s ego when you shower them with compliments upon entering.

Artwork, tiles, lighting—you name it.

I understand that people like to take care of their homes, but I want you to take it five times higher with me here.

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This is an unparalleled metric, but that’s because what you see usually correlates to the type of person you’re dealing with.

You see the perfect home, and you assume it’s the perfect person.

It’s a strange thing to do from the outside looking in, but for a narcissist, it makes the most sense.

Just That

Stop Moving Things Around!

It took a long time for the narcissist to look like this.

Think of the perfect mind.

They are calm when needed, recover easily, and recognize their need for comfort, love, and appreciation.

They are confident without being overbearing. They can think and be kind, both to you and to others.

Now imagine a chaotic, disturbed mind. It’s less tolerant, less able to cope under pressure, and less able to make sound decisions.

A narcissist’s home is like a chaotic mind covered with a blanket to hide the clutter. If that blanket falls off, there’s a risk of revealing the clutter.

If you touch anything in a narcissist’s home, or move it somewhere it shouldn’t be, they seem unable to cope well.

They clean up after you and constantly rearrange their pillows to maintain that perfect image. I don’t buy this, and I know how strange it is to witness and be a part of it simultaneously.

What’s Private Stays Private

Narcissists like to keep certain things private. I don’t mean they refuse to let their bank details be exposed, but they like to keep a lot of their business to themselves.

I once heard of a man who was one of the worst narcissists. He was self-employed, and no one was allowed near his office.

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His office was completely off-limits, and all his books were locked and locked, even his simple client books and his work schedule.

People would be surprised, because his business wasn’t one that required heavy security.

And what happened?

It turned out he’d been manipulating the numbers in his ledger, pretending to earn less than he was paid, and stealing the money!

He was pretending he needed the money, when in reality he actually had plenty of it.

The Outside? Wow!

Appearances can be deceiving, right?

If a narcissist keeps the facade of their home spotless—and I mean spotless—it’s a sign that the inside is more messed up than you might first suspect.

It’s a classic way to distract people from the truth, and I personally feel it’s a true symbolic representation of narcissists themselves.

You see something and you believe it. Only after some time do you discover what’s on the inside, and how contradictory those two things are.

So think about that the next time you see the perfect home in first impressions.

It’s usually to compensate for the lack of something else.

Expensive Everything’s On Display

Narcissists really should have it all, right?

With everything on display like a museum, narcissists love to show off.

What an antique? I bought it during my travels.

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I found it at a sidewalk market in Bali when I traveled for a year and discovered my passion for yoga.

I loved it so much. I couldn’t resist buying it. It was more expensive than my car, but life is short, right?

It’s all about showing off. But even more dangerous, these material things are often an additional distraction.

If you’re looking at something shiny, bright, and expensive, you won’t focus on the narcissist’s dark and suspicious personality.

They’re very intelligent, and that sometimes prevents people from getting close to the real person for a long time.

Maybe the next time you visit a narcissist’s home, you can see the danger signs all around you.

They’ll definitely point you in the right direction for the person you’re dealing with, that’s for sure!