If a narcissist can get his claws into you, he will. Manipulation is the plug pulled from the waters of your mind. Once released, your mind is quickly drained, leaving you with nothing.
Running on empty shouldn’t be your only option, you can refill the waters again, leaving you feeling like you’re back in the driver’s seat of your life.
Taking back control means not allowing yourself to be manipulated, so if you want to learn how to do that today, look no further – we’ve got you covered!
KeepEducatingYourself!
When you came here, you came because you needed advice, right? Well, you’ve come to the right place, and you need to visit more often to gain more knowledge about narcissism.
How it shows up in people, and what you can do to spot signs of narcissism and regain control of your life.
LearnHowToSpeakUp
Speaking up doesn’t have to feel like a confrontation – but a narcissist will see it that way, so there needs to be an element of preparation if you want to use your voice more.
You can take the approach of simply stating that you are not willing to engage in a conversation that is going nowhere.
Other phrases that can help counteract their manipulation include:
“I’m sorry you feel this way.”
“We all have the right to feel the way we feel.”
Related : This is Why Narcissists Are Experts in Faking Empathy!
“I’m not going to talk to you because I don’t like the way you talk to me.”
You can find power in the words you choose to say, and they don’t have to be loaded with ammunition—they can be spoken with tact and dignity.
ReassessYourBoundaries
In the world of the narcissist, boundaries don’t exist. You can look for them everywhere, but you’ll never find them.
For them, boundaries exist only for others to challenge and cross. Their entitlement is an immediate invitation to encroach on the rationality and dynamism of anyone and everyone—and it leaves you no space to enjoy and appreciate them.
If you feel like your boundaries are being crossed, it’s time to reassert them. You can do this by:
Say no to anything you don’t want to do.
Stick to your values.
Take the time to understand your value.
FindCalm
Staying calm around a narcissist is something that comes with time, but the more you practice it, the better you will become.
Nothing, I repeat, nothing disarms a narcissist more than a calm demeanor. This is because they are not getting a reaction from you, which is the one thing they want and need most.
Your calm is your center, balanced by the idea that you will no longer let their criticism and petty criticism manipulate you.
Remember – yelling or screaming at a narcissist is like handing them a gallon of gas. They need it, love it, and want it.
Build a Support System
This may seem like a tall order, but most support systems come from building relationships with people who have been through something similar to what you have, or talking to family and friends about what you are going through.
Related : The Worst Thing About Narcissists: Hiding in Plain Sight
Sometimes, you may come across someone you thought you knew well, but they don’t see it in the light of abuse they should see it.
Don’t get too discouraged. Once you get to the point where you’re no longer willing to let the narcissist manipulate you, you’ll encounter people who won’t believe you or support you.
Healthy support systems are exactly what you need to be able to be your own person again.
Action: Not Promises
Narcissists love to talk. Their voices are full of promises to do something. Yes, they’ll talk about it right away. Of course, they’d love to hang out with you on Friday. Need a friend or someone you can count on? Call me! When you call, they’re busy, and they won’t apologize for it either.
It’s easy to get frustrated when words and actions don’t match up. You get tired of the same old lines and same old tones of voice, and you fall into them every time.
You wonder, will next time be different?
You need to see the action, and if you can’t see it, it’s a sign that you’re being manipulated by words that never work.
ShowWhatYouDeserve
You can go a very long time without getting the things you deserve in life if you stay with a narcissist, did you know that?
Dreams remain dreams, goals remain unfulfilled. The illusion that you can’t achieve them is turned into reality by the person you originally trusted to keep you safe and loved.
A narcissist does none of these things, whether they’re a friend, family member, or lover.
Sometimes the only way to know what’s real is to trust yourself, but if you’ve spent a lot of time with a narcissist, that may not be easy for you.
Related : Six Reasons Narcissists Suddenly Go Silent
The missing piece of the puzzle is knowing that you can live the life you deserve if you can take back control from the narcissist and understand your needs based on your own values, not their lies and commands.
Don’t Forget to Keep a Log
One of the most effective ways to stop narcissists from manipulating you is to keep a log of the things they say or do. The promises they make, the times they said they would be there, or the moments they said something to put you down.
This is a meditative practice that allows you to see that you are not the problem—in fact, you never were. Seeing this for yourself makes them solely accountable, and breaks down your false and manipulative belief that you are the one causing all the drama.
Keeping a log means that you can see it and not show it to the narcissist because they will inevitably accuse you of all sorts of things. Instead, be specific, let what happens be, and know that they no longer have any superiority over you.
Remember—This is Not About You
Finally, it’s very important to remember that this is not about you. You are not the one with the problem.
Narcissism is a type of personality disorder that is difficult to diagnose. Getting someone diagnosed means they voluntarily go to a doctor’s office and are honest about their behavior.
Related : Secret Tricks Narcissists Use to Pretend They Love You
“Yes, I manipulate people I know.”
“Yes, I love lying and triangulating.”
“I love criticizing and belittling people.”
I think we can all agree that this will never happen!
And the result?
Narcissists are left untreated, unbothered, and unaffected by the harm they inflict on others.
They don’t care.
It was never your problem; you simply fell into their mess, and you’re finding your way out of it with these tips to avoid further manipulation.
