Closure is meaningful to many people because it gives them closure.

People like to close the chapter before others can begin, and the problem begins when you rely on others to do it for you.

You should allow yourself to fix what others have broken, but when you leave it to the narcissist, you’ll never find the answers.

And they know it.

Here’s why narcissists will never give you closure.

The Only Thing You Want

I want to speak for many of you here because I know closure is important to you.

Closure provides peace of mind. It’s the moment when a loved one leaves you with the reason they no longer want to be with you, or in your life.

Related : Surprising Things Narcissists Do When You Move On

Yes, closure is a big part of being able to move on. You have the answers, and while it may be painful, rest assured that the narcissist has slammed the door shut and moved on.

And they’re telling you you can, too.

Desiring What You Don’t Have : The Center of Your Life

This sounds like something you’ve always wanted, right?

You’ve always wanted something you can’t have. And I’m not talking about the narcissist.

I’m talking about the person you want them to be. They’ll never be the caring, loving, respectful lover, or even the friend they are.

It’s a concept you chase, like a stuffed rabbit on a track, and you’re the greyhound.

There’s no prize.

There’s no happy ending.

If the narcissist isn’t who you want them to be when you’re with them, what makes you think they’ll ever be the same when you break up?

Desiring what you can’t have leaves you dancing blindly and barefoot in a world of hope, with shards of glass scattered on the floor.

For a while, that’s okay, but with each passing day, you risk real pain.

Your Source

Often, yes. It’s about the source. Your source.

You give him everything he wants to thrive as a narcissist. You feed him like a gas station at the Grand Prix.

You elevate him, you fall into his trap, and you subconsciously honor his control over you by your mere presence.

Related : 8 Things Narcissists Say When You Break Up With Them

The source could be your tears. How easily you cry whenever he triggers you (and it’s true, triggers are awful).

It could also be your reaction when he lures you into a corner of conflict.

Or what about when they come to you seeking admiration? You magnify them and tell them what you think of them.

You love seeing them happy with you, so you keep giving.

Unwittingly, you are the narcissist’s bread and butter.

Control: LovingIt

Getting to know a narcissist well enough to predict their moods can take years.

What needs to happen for that to happen is for you to take off the rose-colored glasses you’ve been wearing all this time and see them for who they really are.

This is where most of the people I speak to find their true pain.

They wonder where all those years went, or what they could have done to make the narcissist change and truly love them.

In reality, there’s nothing you can do—the narcissist will still carry the same personality disorders they hide behind their obsession with control.

For you, the lack of an end to the problem is still a form of control, and while you may cry into your pillow wondering once again what you did wrong, the narcissist likes to know they’ve got you covered.

It sounds like they want to punish you, doesn’t it?

Well, in their eyes, they are.

Punishment Begins

Sometimes you may spend years wondering what to do after the narcissist leaves and doesn’t give you closure.

This is exactly the form of punishment they wanted to inflict, and if you’re still suffering after so long, they’ve put you where they want you.

Related : Weird Things Narcissists Do Before They Go To Bed

But what are punishment and the lack of closure designed to do to you?

Remember Them

Narcissists have such big egos that it’s hard to think about forgetting them.

What do you mean, don’t you remember me?

Don’t you know who I am?

It’s one of their biggest fears—but by leaving the door wide open with you, they’ll never get to say goodbye.

For them, that’s a good thing.

They love possibilities, and you’re one of them.

They want you to remember them, and to ask yourself:

What happened to them?

This might include searching for narcissists on social media. Wondering who they’re with now, or what they’re doing in life.

Suddenly, you’re stuck.

Feel Guilty

Was it something I did? Said?

Could I have treated them better?

I feel sorry for the way things ended.

I wish I could make things better, but they simply won’t let me back in.

It’s not your fault at all. The narcissist has every opportunity and ability to let you in, but he doesn’t want to.

Instead, he wants you to feel guilty and live in it for as long as possible.

This isn’t true.

Where does this leave you?

Never move forward.

You don’t truly know what emotional freedom means.

You constantly cast yourself and your future relationships in a negative light.

Related : 8 Signs Your Narcissist Ex Really Isn’t Over You Yet

Your self-esteem is shaken, and you end up living as if you’re still with them anyway…

Which proves that if you let it, the narcissist will never completely leave.

When You Need to Shut Yourself Off

When you allow someone to dictate to you, you’re handing them control before you even begin.

You let their treatment dictate your feelings. You act as if you no longer set the rules for your life.

And, just as you always did with the narcissist, you don’t prioritize your feelings, your needs, and yourself.

Sometimes, we need to shut ourselves off.

We need to understand that silence and ignoring are the answers we’re looking for.

You can’t force someone to stay in your life or to treat you the way you want. But you can listen and look at how they treat you and decide whether or not it’s good enough.

So, the narcissist is keeping you hanging and refusing to end the relationship?

Let them do it!

This doesn’t mean you’re suddenly unable to close the door on your own.

In fact, I think this is actually wise because it puts you in a place where your decisions will help your future, not hinder it.

You can’t remain stuck in uncertainty for the rest of your life, letting the narcissist dictate your feelings.

And you shouldn’t romanticize being ignored and not having closure; it’s not unusual.

Long-term depression and anxiety shouldn’t be celebrated.

So, let the person who won’t end the relationship go. Give yourself the happy ending you’ve been looking for.