Closure is meaningful to many people because it gives them closure.

People like to close the chapter before others can begin, and the problem begins when you rely on others to do it for you.

You should allow yourself to fix what others have broken, but when you leave it to the narcissist, you’ll never find the answers.

And they know it.

Here’s why narcissists will never give you closure.

The Only Thing You Want

I want to speak for many of you here because I know closure is important to you.

Closure provides peace of mind. It’s the moment when a loved one leaves you with the reason they no longer want to be with you, or in your life.

Related : 8 Unexpected Lies Narcissists Will Convince You are True

Yes, closure is a big part of being able to move on. You have the answers, and while it may be painful, rest assured that the narcissist has slammed the door shut and moved on.

And they’re telling you you can, too.

Desiring What You Don’t Have: The Center of Your Life

This sounds like something you’ve always wanted, right?

You’ve always wanted something you can’t have. And I’m not talking about the narcissist.

I’m talking about the person you want them to be. They’ll never be the caring, loving, respectful lover, or even the friend they are.

It’s a concept you chase, like a stuffed rabbit on a track, and you’re the greyhound.

There’s no prize.

There’s no happy ending.

If the narcissist isn’t who you want them to be when you’re with them, what makes you think they’ll ever be the same when you break up?

Desiring what you can’t have leaves you dancing blindly and barefoot in a world of hope, with shards of glass scattered on the floor.

For a while, that’s okay, but with each passing day, you risk real pain.

Your Source

Often, yes. It’s about the source. Your source.

You give him everything he wants to thrive as a narcissist. You feed him like a gas station at the Grand Prix.

You elevate him, you fall into his trap, and you subconsciously honor his control over you by your mere presence.

The source could be your tears. How easily you cry whenever he triggers you (and it’s true, triggers are awful).

It could also be your reaction when he lures you into a corner of conflict.

Or what about when they come to you seeking admiration? You magnify them and tell them what you think of them.

You love seeing them happy with you, so you keep giving.

Unwittingly, you are the narcissist’s bread and butter.

Control: LovingIt

Getting to know a narcissist well enough to predict their moods can take years.

What needs to happen for that to happen is for you to take off the rose-colored glasses you’ve been wearing all this time and see them for who they really are.

This is where most of the people I speak to find their true pain.

They wonder where all those years went, or what they could have done to make the narcissist change and truly love them.

Related : These Are The Narcissist’s Favorite Types of People to Manipulate

In reality, there’s nothing you can do—the narcissist will still carry the same personality disorders, masking their obsession with control.

The inability to end the relationship is still a form of control, and while you may cry into your pillow wondering once again what you did wrong, the narcissist loves knowing they’ve reached out to you.

It’s like they want to punish you, right?

Well, in their eyes, they do.

Punishment Begins

You may spend years of your life wondering what to do after the narcissist leaves and offers you no closure.

This is exactly the kind of punishment they wanted to offer you, and if you’re still suffering after so long, they’ve put you right where they want you.

But what is the point of punishment and no closure at all?

Remember Them

Narcissists have such huge egos that they find it hard to think about forgetting.

What do you mean you don’t remember me?

You don’t know who I am?

It’s one of their biggest fears—but by leaving the door wide open with you, they’ll never get to say goodbye.

For them, that’s a good thing.

They love possibilities, and you’re one of them.

They want you to remember them, and to ask yourself:

What happened to them?

This might include searching for narcissists on social media, wondering who they’re with now, or what they’re doing in life.

Suddenly, you find yourself stuck.

Feel Guilty

Was it something I did? Or said?

Could I have treated them better?

I feel sorry for the way things ended.

I wish I could make things better, but they simply won’t let me back in.

This is not your fault at all. Narcissists have every opportunity and ability to let you in, but they don’t want to.

Related : Why Is Everybody So Mean To Me? 20 Lesser Known Reasons And How To Respond

Instead, they want you to feel guilty and live in it for as long as possible.

And there’s nothing right about that.

Where does that leave you?

Never move on.

I’ve never known what true emotional freedom feels like.

You constantly cast yourself and your future relationships in a negative light.

Your self-esteem is shaken, and you end up living as if you’re still with them anyway…

Which proves that if you let it, the narcissist will never completely leave.

When You Need To Shut Yourself Off

When you allow someone to dictate to you, you hand them control before you even begin.

You let their treatment dictate your feelings. You act as if you no longer set the rules for your life.

And just as you always did with the narcissist, you don’t prioritize your feelings, your needs, and yourself.

Sometimes, we need to shut ourselves off.

We need to understand that silence and ignoring are the solution we’re looking for.

You can’t force someone to stay in your life or to treat you the way you want. But you can listen and look at how they treat you and decide whether or not it’s good enough.

So, the narcissist is keeping you hanging and refusing to end the relationship?

Let them do it!

This doesn’t mean you’re suddenly unable to close the door on your own.

In fact, I think this is actually wise because it puts you in a place where your decisions will help your future, not hinder it.

You can’t remain stuck in uncertainty for the rest of your life, letting the narcissist dictate your feelings.

And you shouldn’t romanticize being ignored and not having closure; it’s not unusual.

Long-term depression and anxiety shouldn’t be celebrated.

So, let the person who won’t end the relationship go. Give yourself the happy ending you’ve been looking for.