Peace and quiet. Nice, right?
Finally, you can sleep at night. You’ve gotten over the sheer hell of being ignored and blocked by the narcissist, and you feel great about life.
Then, in the middle of the night, you hear a noise. Was it an earthquake? Are the authorities digging pipes under the road again?
None of that. That noise is the great sense that the narcissist is unblocking you.
What could they possibly be doing on purpose?
Blocking: How did it get to this point?
It’s easy to do, I think. While I always teach you to block people who aren’t healthy for you, narcissists block out of spite.
If they’re treated as punishment, they won’t hesitate to cut you off and go completely silent if it means your feelings get a little hurt in the process. In fact, the more hurt you cause them, the better!
Related : 8 Reasons Why You Can’t Stop Loving The Narcissist
As for how you got to this point – it got to this point pretty easily.
1 They Want Your Supply
Everything you used to supply them with in the past is now wanted, needed, and desired again.
They don’t love you, but they love your supply.
Supply might look like this:
Your tears
Your sadness
Your pain
Your grief
Your jealousy
Your insecurities
Your self-worth
Your confidence
When they start stripping you down to the core of your identity, they feel better and feel energized enough.
Not getting that once you block them will eventually get the best of them, and they’ll crave it again.
That’s why you’ll suddenly find yourself unblocked, with a message from them coming your way.
That’s enough to make you sick, right? Just when you think things are going great, they come back.
2 They Know You’ll Respond
If you’ve been obedient and available in the past, the narcissist will expect the same from you again when they unblock you.
And you know what?
Related : Why Do Narcissists Claim To Be Experts in Things They Know Nothing About?
As you play this role all the time, they’ll ask you to do it.
This is where your power comes in—the power of change!
3 They’re Bored
Narcissists get bored quickly, and when they reach the peak of boredom, they usually want to act quickly to eliminate it.
Since they simply can’t stand their own company, they’ll turn to someone else—perhaps you—for entertainment.
They’ll unblock you in a heartbeat if you’ve been blocked because of a previous argument (or the other, more likely reason—no reason at all).
Ask yourself this:
Do you want to be their entertainment?
4 They Want a Favor
You’ve wanted to forget all the ungrateful ways you were once around the narcissist, but once you bury those memories, they come back.
The narcissist opens the door for you to ask for a favor. You don’t like this, and they shouldn’t. They want you to join them and be the perfect little source of supply that you’ve always been.
Related : 20 Reasons Why Narcissists Secretly Hate You
Tell me, why should you be there for them when all they’ve ever thought about is cutting you out of their lives?
My advice is – block them!
5 They’ve “changed”
Never believe that a narcissist has changed, especially if they tell you so.
One thing you need to learn now is to trust actions, not words. If someone shows you that they care, trust that. Don’t trust their promise to care.
Same goes here!
6 They’re “missing you”
Oh, so they want you back. Right? They want to see you again? Right? They just want a fling?
Which one is it?
This is where you say no to all of the above. A narcissist doesn’t get to choose when they want you and when they don’t.
You definitely shouldn’t make yourself available just because they ask you to.
7 They’re “Sorry”
Narcissists never say they’re sorry unless they want something specific from you.
Let me make this clear, though:
Related : The ONE Thing That Makes Every Narcissist Snap
A narcissist is very capable of saying they’re sorry, but they’re completely incapable of apologizing.
The sooner you accept that, the better.
If you’ve been unblocked, you can bet that there’s some plan on their part that will involve you in some way, and it’s never going to work out for you.
I’d be bold enough to predict the following:
They want you for something.
They will say they need your advice (which makes you feel like you deserve it).
They need money.
They want your review or reasonable opinion.
…They want to take advantage of you.
The question I have is:
Would you let that happen?
Narcissists never regret it. Their words will be like a golden crown on your head – but that crown is actually made of thorns.
8 They’re Nosy
So, what do you do? Who are your friends? What do you look like now?
Who are you dating? Where do you work? Where do you live? What do you do for fun?
And so on and so forth.
Related : 5 Normal Things That Drive Narcissists Nuts
Do they know anything about you after the way they treated you?
I say a big no.
9 They’re Spying on You
If a narcissist is planning to try to get back into your life, or use what they know against you, they’re going to need to catch up.
They’re going to start checking to see what they’ve missed in your life since you last spoke. Where you go and who you’ve become friends with.
He can learn about your routine and schedule in hopes of being able to physically interfere by bumping into you on the street.
He wants that initial conversation to be easy, to seem natural.
What he’s doing by spying on you is watching you from afar without you even realizing it.
It’s creepy, you’ll agree. Knowing that someone wants to watch your life unfold from a distance makes you feel like you have some kind of stalker on your hands.
10 They Want to Seduce You
If the narcissist isn’t blocked, you can also reach out to them.
I wonder how you would react if you suddenly saw their profile pop up in a search result, or saw their icon in your texting app again.
Related : The Hidden Danger of Narcissists: They’re Hiding in Plain Sight
You may not have seen them in weeks, months, or even longer.
Now they’re back, and your thumb is hovering over their photo, wondering whether or not you should hit the “Hello” button and type “Hello.”
I want you to know something, though.
The “hello” you tend to send is just the beginning of another era of misery for you.
It was a deliberate way to get you to start a conversation with them, and they know what they’re doing here.
Re-engaging again after what they put you through the first time will only be worse the next time.
Ask yourself if it’s really worth it, or if you should be the barrier.
