It’s very easy to figure out exactly who a narcissist is and why they’re so intent on ruining your life.

I agree, it’s hard to spot the red flags until you see one. Then, you know what?

You start seeing them everywhere.

When you begin to understand and delve deeper into a narcissist, your life will change completely.

And guess what? It’s much easier than you think!

Wait Till You Get The Hate Out…

It’s been a long time coming, isn’t it?

For a while, you’ve suspected that the person you care deeply about is a narcissist.

You can see them flinch from time to time if things aren’t going their way, or if they feel threatened or jealous in a moment.

Related : NEVER Let A Narcissist Know These Things About Your Childhood

It all boils down to one detail that’s more important than you realize:

They’re not as powerful as they pretend to be.

Everything they do, from manipulating you to manipulating you and controlling every aspect of your life, is designed to make you believe they’re smarter, stronger, and more important than they actually are.

This, in turn, makes you feel weak and powerless.

But once you discover the truth, their whole game falls apart. Not just for a while, but forever.

Here’s The Problem: Narcissists don’t want you to realize this: They need you more than you need them.

It’s a game changer, isn’t it?

The moment you realize this truth (because it is), you leave them with absolutely no power. Your mind shifts gears, and you’re faced with the harsh reality that you’ve been taken advantage of all this time.

It’s normal to feel angry. I get it. I would be too. Angry that you wasted all this time trying to win the approval and acceptance of someone who never cared about you.

Upset that you can’t get that time back, no matter how hard you try.

But the best part?

Without you, none of this would have happened.

This isn’t about blaming you. It’s not about making you feel guilty or ashamed for believing their lies.

Narcissists seek out people who are kind, compassionate, empathetic, forgiving, and like to put others before themselves.

They look for a sympathetic persona to use against them over time.

When you discover that they need you more than you need them, it turns everything upside down.

They pretend to be in control, but without your attention, admiration, and energy, they are powerless.

Their Self Confidence Is Fake.

It’s just a show. If they could sell tickets to it, they certainly would.

Beneath any narcissist’s arrogance lies a deep-seated sense of insecurity.

They pretend they don’t need anyone, but in reality, they can’t live long without a circle of people around them to draw support.

Related : 20 Affirmations For Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

They are soul thieves. They commit identity theft daily for moral reasons. And they do it in a way that makes others believe they don’t need anyone.

This is simply not true. All this confidence you see from them is an illusion, designed specifically to make you believe they are in control.

Manipulation Is Fear Of Exposure.

That’s the crux of it all, isn’t it? Narcissists don’t actually care about you.

They don’t want control because they’re good people. They don’t prove themselves and be right all the time because they’re kind, compassionate, and have your best interests at heart.

They do this because it’s the only way they can keep you under their complete control.

Have you ever heard a narcissist say:

Whatever happens between us stays between us.

It’s no one else’s business.

We don’t need to bother people with our problems.

I don’t want others to think there are problems between us.

I want to show that we’re strong together.

We have to work together to keep any disagreements within this house.

I think so.

Control. Manipulation.

And…

Fear of exposure.

They know exactly what they’re doing, and they want to keep it a secret to get away with it for as long as possible, but…

You don’t have to go along with it.

And why should you?

Related : How To Help a Narcissist Fix Their Personality?

This only proves that they need you more than you need them, and finding out is the fun part.

Soon after, you’ll watch their world slowly crumble, and there’s nothing they can do to stop it.

Why The Need To At All?

Return to the first time you met the narcissist.

How did they treat you?

Did they nearly stop the world to make you fall in love with them?

They certainly did. Their mission was powerful because they desperately needed someone like you.

Notice I said someone like you. It could have been anyone, as long as they had the same kind, caring, and forgiving qualities as you.

Once they reached you, they decided to break it. You were on an honest and loving journey.

You thought they might be the right person. They listened to you and your problems so intently. They made promises that you truly loved.

Everything seemed to be going well.

But they needed you to feed their ego. Every time you apologized when you shouldn’t have.

Every time you asked them if they were okay because they were silently complaining at home for no reason. Every time they made you feel inferior.

Related : 8 Reasons Why Good People Fall For Narcissists

The more you give to the narcissist, the more you take from yourself.

Narcissists are incapable of giving self-love, so they steal yours.

How To Regain Control Instantly

Let’s be real here:

You have to stop justifying yourself. If that means saying no, that’s the perfect starting point.

Stop giving their attempts to provoke you time and choose silence instead; it’s actually their worst nightmare.

Start by setting firm boundaries and eliminating the guilt they place on you.

Walk away without warning, telling them you won’t touch them anymore.

Once you realize that narcissists only have power when you give it to them, you’ll become a completely new person with new, untouchable boundaries.

This is precisely what they fear most.