They’re constantly hounding you, aren’t they? Narcissists are a group of people who won’t stop doing one thing.
And I’m not here to tell you to stop doing good things. I’m sure there’s plenty you do that are great.
But if you have a narcissist who insists on harassing you and refuses to stop—like a magic trick—you can make them disappear.
Sound appealing? I thought so.
Let’s go!
Give Up…?
Narcissists love to be recognized and are constantly seeking validation from you.
Their world revolves around the idea that they are far superior to you and everyone else, and they rely on you to reinforce this idea.
Related : How To Accidentally Drive A Narcissist Crazy, Without Really Trying
Praise, admiration, and always doing what they ask are just three ways narcissists expect it. So how does it play out?
Narcissists thrive on being accepted this way.
They see themselves as their master, and you as a beggar on the street. You buy into this self-importance, without realizing it’s just an act.
Something magical happens when you stop seeking their approval.
When you stop exploiting their need for validation and start living for yourself, you’ll be shocked at how quickly the narcissist abandons you.
They know you’re no longer part of them, and they have nothing left for you.
What happens when you stop seeking their approval?
- Power Shift: They Lose Control
When you find yourself around a narcissist, the one thing you’ll notice is how much they’re superior to you at everything they believe they are.
Note that I said “feel like they are,” because that’s not always the case.
Of course, we’re all inherently more capable or skilled at certain things than others. I’m qualified to assess the mental health of those who want to improve, but a software engineer wouldn’t be.
That’s not the case. This is how they treat everyone, expecting us to consider them so important that we feel the need to seek their approval at every opportunity.
Related : Narcissists HATE It When You Figure This Out (And It’s Easy!)
Whatever the narcissist has over you, you can let go. You can feel good just by being yourself, not by telling them they approve of you.
Reevaluate yourself.
- They can no longer play the praise game
Raise your hand if you already know how much narcissists love admiration.
If people are pushed to give them exaggerated praise, they become reliant on you to be the one to receive it.
You look great!
Well done!
You’re the best!
In turn, what does that mean?
This gives the narcissist a way to get directly to you. They know they can manipulate you, so they keep you around until eventually, you’re the one seeking approval and they find them important enough to be the one to ask for it.
Stop admiring them.
They’re not the best, and you know it.
Start thinking of yourself that way instead.
- They no longer have the upper hand
Seeking approval from a narcissist can become addictive when they try to manipulate you into convincing you of how special or unique they are. They don’t deserve any special treatment at all.
Narcissists have learned that by withholding approval or affection, they can make you seek their validation.
Related : NEVER Let A Narcissist Know These Things About Your Childhood
This, in turn, gives them the upper hand in the relationship, which is exactly what you want to avoid.
This shift in dynamics may surprise the narcissist, and as a result, they may try to regain control using tactics such as guilt tripping or suppressing their emotions.
If you’re not reliant on their validation, they won’t get what they want.
The power is truly gone.
Great idea, right?
- They Can’t Mislead You Anymore
Misleading is a dangerous tactic narcissists use to get what they want from you, leaving you confused and unsure of the truth of reality.
If they can distort the facts and deny past events, they can keep you on your toes and make it easier for you to question your own thoughts and feelings.
Misinformation is especially effective when you’re seeking their validation or approval, because you may feel insecure and turn to them for reassurance.
No longer needing their validation means you can comfortably transition from what they tell you is true to what actually is.
This is crucial to undo.
- Stop Being Their Emotional Feed
If you don’t know them well enough yet, narcissists thrive on draining your energy to feed theirs.
You are not a maple tree.
Your feed might look like:
Praise
Empathy
Anger
Attention
Admiration
When you hold back, the narcissist eventually gives in. Stop doing it. Here’s why, and it’s crucial:
The only reason you shower praise isn’t because you’re serious, it’s because you admire how they treat you.
Related : 14 Smart Tactics To Beat A Narcissist At Their Own Game
Give in, and the narcissist will leave you alone. Having them around only brings you more problems, and that’s not what you should want for yourself.
- They stop using you as a mirror for their self-worth.
Narcissists are adept at using others to project their self-worth.
They need to feel special, and they’ll rely on your reactions to validate that belief.
When you constantly seek their approval, you become a mirror for their ego, reflecting their sense of superiority.
Enough!
Stopping this means they’re finally forced to confront their own fears and weaknesses.
It’s time too.
- They’ll try to find someone else to validate their worth.
Quick! Find someone else! The sooner the better!
You’ll hear narcissists almost panicking as they frantically search for your replacement.
They’ll bounce from one person to another, trying to determine who’s best suited for the job.
Remember the conditions to check, one of which is that the new victim must be seeking fulfillment.
There’s a desperate void to be filled, and that’s what will happen the moment you stop, and they’ll have no choice but to abandon you.
Strength
Self-belief frees you from the idea that you need someone else to make you feel a certain way.
If your feelings are in control and aligned with your purpose, there’s no need for anyone to push you away or try to convince you that you need to change.
How about starting by realizing that you’re perfect just the way you are?
As for narcissists—give up!
