Art imitates life, and such is the case with flying monkeys. This term was coined from the movie The Wizard of Oz where the evil witch sends monkeys flying and gets Dorothy and her dog. The monkeys obey her command, doing their dirty work for her, taunting and terrorizing Dorothy as she tries in vain to get home. This is the case with narcissists and their flying monkeys.
As if a magic spell has taken hold, the bond between narcissists and their flying monkeys is one of unwavering loyalty even in the face of danger. When a narcissist wants to elicit some punishment on a target, he sends his minions (also known as flying monkeys) to do his bidding. Unfortunately, this can often include abusive behavior such as guilt, distortion of the truth, manipulation, assaults, threats, and violence. This keeps them out of harm’s way and able to claim innocence if they are caught.
To be sure, narcissists aren’t the only ones capable of conjuring up a troop of flying monkeys. Sociopaths and psychopaths are more talented at this task. The difference is that the narcissist constantly stays true to his or her selfish pursuits. Whereas the sociopath and psychopath voluntarily give up their selfishness to gain a deeper level of commitment by submitting themselves to the goal. A sociopath is usually in it for short-term gain, while a psychopath may take a lifetime, if ever, to reveal their true selves.
But who are these flying monkeys and why do they willingly submit to such a character? This happens all the time. Think of a bullying political leader and not too far off you have the chief of staff, the media director and the personal assistant all lining up to do whatever is asked of them. Or what about the sports, publicity, and CFOs of the influential athlete. Then there is the C-suite that stands guard to protect and isolate the company’s narcissistic president or CEO.
What makes them do this? Ironically, many of them also suffer from a disorder that the narcissist preys on to meet their own needs. Here are some examples in order of their consistent long-term commitment.
But who are these flying monkeys and why do they willingly submit to such a character? This happens all the time. Think of a bullying political leader and not too far off you have the chief of staff, the media director and the personal assistant all lining up to do whatever is asked of them. Or what about the sports, publicity, and CFOs of the influential athlete. Then there is the C-suite that stands guard to protect and isolate the company’s narcissistic president or CEO.
What makes them do this? Ironically, many of them also suffer from a disorder that the narcissist preys on to meet their own needs. Here are some examples in order of their consistent long-term commitment.
Joint dependents. Narcissists and codependents are a match made in h@$#. Their mutual dysfunction is fed in an unhealthy way. Narcissists need constant care and a daily feeding of attention to calm their hidden fears. Codependents naturally like to serve and save others as a means of gaining satisfaction and achieving a goal. However, when the codependent recovers from his or her unhealthy patterns, the narcissist feels abandoned and withdraws.
Related : How to Know If You’re Dating a Narcissist
Addicts. When the narcissist is the enabler, the addict will do or say anything to stay in their good graces. Ultimately, they make the perfect companion because all they need is the fix that the narcissist readily provides. Intuitively, the narcissist understands this because he also needs daily attention. The problem is that the addict goes so far and needs so much of the narcissist that those in need (except themselves, of course) repel him. Usually, this relationship ends when the addict gets clean or the narcissist breaks it off.
Dependent personality disorder. This is one of the most difficult bonds to break because within the definition of dependent personality disorder there is a person who is completely dependent on another person. Don’t depend on others, just depend. Think of it as the difference between a person who likes to have their home organized, a codependent person, a person who has to clean the entire house every day with bleach, and a codependent person. It’s a much stronger connection. The subordinate will not make any decisions, including small decisions, without the narcissist feeding the narcissistic superior complex. Unfortunately, I have never seen a codependent leave their narcissist. Even after divorce or death, there is still something strange, you will always be attached to me. The dependent constantly glorifies the narcissist even in the face of atrocities.
Related : The Narcissist Withholds Attention As A Control Tactic: 3 Ways To Reclaim Your Power
Sociopaths. Sociopaths are last on this list because they like to hide their evil deeds behind the narcissistic shadow. It is not because the narcissist is committed to altruistic values, they do not have them, but rather because the narcissistic personality sucks oxygen out of the air, so an attack by a sociopath is rarely noticed. The narcissist believes they are leading the sociopath on, and they let them think so. But in reality, the sociopath is the narcissist’s puppet master who plays on their hidden weaknesses and insecurities. For this reason, the sociopath doesn’t leave because the narcissist is their cover that they would throw under the bus if given the right opportunity and circumstances.
Next time you watch a movie about a narcissist, and there are a lot of them now, look for the flying monkeys. Once you see them in art, it’s easy to spot them in real life.
